Stow Away
by hippiehappy
Summary: Edward Cullen and his family are activist protectors of dangerous arctic whale waters on a ship called The Guardian. Edward is bound to his cause, but always alone. What happens when a mysterious and troubled, brown eyed stow away changes everything? A/H
1. The Guardian

**Hey Everybody,**

**Here goes my second Twilight fanfic. I decided to do something a little more adventurous than You Don't Have To Hide and hopefully something a little different from the stories already out there. Don't laugh, but I was watching Whale Wars when I was suddenly struck with the inspiration for this story. If you've seen the show, you'll recognize its influence on this story. Who knows what will happen. This story might be a little bit of the activist in me coming out to play. :) Bear with me guys, I'm hoping you will like this one. **

**Peace and Love ~ Hippie.**

**EPOV**

_I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on a Minke whale. I was 12 years old, looking over the guard rail on my father's massive ship, The Guardian, breathless in the early morning Antarctic cold. My eyes wide in awe as the majestic whale broke the surface of the dark, churning water._

_It was the first time I was old enough to come along on a voyage with my family. I remember looking up at my father in absolute wonder as we watched the whales begin to make their appearance just beside the starboard side of the ship. _

_He squeezed my shoulder and wore an untamed grin as we watched the beautiful animals. He had woken me at an ungodly hour and though I protested the entire time, I immediately was silenced at my first siting. I was completely entranced. _

_And suddenly I understood my father's fierce defense of these powerful, gentle animals. _

_My father, Captain Carlisle Cullen had inherited his love of the sea from his father. He had been raised in a very wealthy family, responsible for the construction of some of the largest ships along the Alaskan Coast. Fascinated with the nautical and structural aspects of his father's work, Carlisle set his academic sights on becoming a nautical engineer so that eventually, he would continue his father's business. _

_It seemed he had his life set, his plans in place, and a bright future just in his grasp. Until one day he discovered that the Corporation he had so devoted himself to, was responsible for some heinous crimes. _

_After being absent from his home town for long periods of schooling, my father was more than happy to return to Alaska after his graduation. Anxious to use his nautical skills, he accompanied his brother Aro on a voyage that would soon turn his plans upside down. _

_The ships Cullen Corp had been constructing were responsible for commercial shipping and trading, as well as providing supplies to several research stations in Antarctica. Aro's ship -The Volterra - however, was responsible for something else entirely. Illegal Whaling. _

_My father had only once told me of the horrors he saw that day and they have haunted me ever since I was old enough to really understand. The crimson blood in the water, the harsh steel of merciless harpoons, the death of creatures I as a boy had come to love... Aro had become the captain of a floating slaughter house. _

_Appalled, Carlisle immediately went to his father, hoping to end the injustice and restore his faith in the family's company. He was immensely disappointed to find that his father was well aware of Aro's activities, and had turned a blind eye in order to retain the profits. _

_Lost and ashamed, Carlisle left the company and the bond he had with his father and brother was left in pieces. It was soon after he met my mother, Esme at a Greenpeace conference. He fell for her instantly. Fiercely compassionate, she lit a fire underneath Carlisle, inspiring him to use his skills to fight the very crimes his own family was responsible for. _

_Their love was not only a beautiful bond, but a powerful alliance. The Guardian was my father's very first ship. And the group of friends my parents had acquired were perfect for their cause. Engineers, biologists, activists all working together as one guarding the Arctic Ocean's whale sanctuaries. My mother believed protesting just wasn't enough. The whale sanctuaries needed more than a voice, they needed guardians._

_And thats exactly what we were. _

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

"Rise and shine Eddie boy!" I heard Emmett's voice shout through the darkness of my dreams.

_Fuck, Emmett. Do you have absolutely no volume control whatsoever?_

I didn't realize I had spoken aloud until his pillow connected suddenly with my face.

"Jesus, Emmett!" I roared. I opened my eyes to see his massive form retreating the cabin and heading to the bathroom, bouncing with laughter the entire way.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and stretched my stiff limbs, letting the light from the early morning trickle through my window. It felt the cold almost immediately as I rose from bed, the familiar sway of _The Guardian_ hardly noticeable to me anymore. Over the years I had developed some pretty impressive sea legs. But then again, all of my siblings had. It was a necessity in this life.

Yawning deeply and still trying to will myself awake, I threw on some clothes and headed out to the galley.

The galley on _The Guardian_ was massive. There was room for everyone here and it was a good place for the crew to meet. We had new arrivals every time were came to port. New Greenpeace volunteers were always interested in the Cullen's arrival so there were always helping hands on deck. But that also meant many mouths to feed.

It's a good thing my Dad found Rosalie Hale. She was an amazing cook and she kept that kitchen running in perfect order, winning the hearts and stomachs of everyone on board - especially my brother Emmett. I had a feeling it wouldn't be long before Rosalie shared our last name. I gave her a wink as I stole a piece of toast and grabbed a cup of coffee.

"Morning, Edward. Sleep, okay?" she said with a smile, passing me the sugar and cream.

"Yeah, I slept just fine until your lousy boyfriend tried to smother me with his pillow." I laughed. Emmett appeared from the hallway in time to catch my comment. He gave Rose a playful smack on the ass and shot me an evil grin. I rolled my eyes and found my sister Alice sitting with my parents, scribbling notes down on a pad of paper as my father rattled off a list of supplies.

_The Guardian_ would be docking in the Port of Kotzebue, Alaska today. A few days to rest up and re-stock was exactly what we needed after almost a month on the water. We would have to over-prepare for our next outing. That was always Alice's specialty. She had a knack for planning and organizing things to a T. My parents had always been appreciative of that.

Each of us had something to offer. Emmett followed closely in Dad's footsteps, his mechanical skills an extremely important asset as he was always able to repair any damages to important machinery. He was also an absolute brute. His strength came in handy on this vessel and Dad always relied on him to take leadership on deck.

Alice of course was the brains. She took care of ordering supplies, keeping the galley pantry stocked, taking care of the crew and the new volunteers. Her boyfriend Jasper was the medical officer on board and she made sure he had all the medical supplies he needed in order for everyone to be safe. Alice always..._always_ had a plan.

And me? Well, I _flew_. The helicopter on board _The Guardian_ was my baby. Being the youngest of the three of us, I was the last of us to come aboard. All of us stayed in school in Skagway, Alaska until we turned about twelve. Mom and Dad's trips we shorter then, and less frequent so we weren't apart very often. Mom was nervous about having kids on the huge vessel during whaling season, but Dad convinced her that once we were around twelve, we should be able to handle ourselves.

As soon as their last child made it to twelve, the real voyages began. Each of us had become key players on this team. And flying....flying was my specialty. It didn't take me long to get my pilot's license after my first couple times flying. I fell in love with the sensation of being to high above the world, watching the whales dance in the water below me. It was incredible. There was nothing else like it.

Often times Dad would send me out to map out a steady course. When we hit arctic waters, it was critical that we navigate through the ice as safely as possible.

"Morning." I mumbled as I kissed Mom's cheek and sat down next to Dad. He nodded to me but stayed consistent in his flow of thought, mumbling out more supplies to Alice as she jotted them down vigorously in her little notebook.

I took a good look at my father's face as I bit down on my toast. He looked tired. He looked worried. Mom's face was a perfect match. I knew why.

News of Japanese whaling ships had reached us recently. Claiming their kills as necessary for research they slaughtered hundreds of minke, humpback and southern right whales every hunting season.

Our goal was to locate each ship in the fleet and shut down the operations before things got out of hand. It was a daunting task, and an extremely dangerous one. Ship to ship confrontation was very likely in this situation. My father had only experienced it once before and that was long before I was born. He still had the scars to prove it.

It wasn't a topic he spoke of often but he knew as well as we did that it would more than likely occur. He wanted so badly to protect these magnificent creatures, but he wanted just as much - if not more - to protect us.

"I've booked us a place to stay in Kotzebue." Alice said, shoveling waffles in her mouth. "I know we could probably just stay on the ship, but I thought it might be nice to spend a few days on land and rest up and get ourselves together before we leave. It's called the Gateway Inn."

"That sounds wonderful, darling." Mom said as she sipped her coffee. "A much needed rest."

"I figured it wouldn't hurt to do some shopping while we're there either. Everybody could use some new clothes, warmer clothes. Preferably clothes that _don't_ resemble a potato sack." Alice replied, her eyes roaming critically over Emmett's beige fleece pull-over. I heard Dad chuckle into his napkin.

Mom was watching me carefully. She often did this in the early mornings when I was especially quiet.

"You okay, baby?" came the usual question.

"Yeah, Mom. I'm alright." came my usual answer.

I knew Mom and Dad worried about me. They realized of course that their kids didn't exactly have a normal life, but they were lucky enough to have all three of their children become just as passionate about their cause as they were. We were home schooled on board _The Guardian_ after I finally turned twelve.

Our social life consisted of the crew members on board, which changed on occasion, but with the circumstances, was hardly normal for us when we were teenagers. Relationships were especially hard to obtain. Alice and Emmett had been lucky enough to find love on board. I had had very few relationships that hardly lasted more than a few nights at port. It was easier not to get attached.

Twenty two years old and I had never had a serious relationship. I had had women, but I had never had someone like Emmet and Alice both had. They had promise. They had trust. They had true loves. And me? Well I had my helicopter.

I ate the rest of my breakfast in silence and left quickly for morning chores, heading out to the strip to check on my baby for a tune up.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

Kotzebue was a nice little city. Simple. Rustic. The sign on the bus we took into town read "Kotzebue - Gateway to the Arctic." It took us all at least a few hours to adjust to walking on solid ground again. Alice had nearly toppled over the second we got off the ship.

We made it to the hotel without any problems and all of us took a day to just relax and lounge around our hotel rooms. Our muscles ached from the cold and the constant need for balance on board the vessel. I slept soundly in down blankets on a luxurious hotel bed without any incidents from a certain lug head of a brother. It was infinitely better than our cramped little cabin, constantly rocking and swaying. I was enjoying stillness.

It was late in the evening when I finally awoke to Alice knocking anxiously on my door.

"What, Alice?" I groaned, rolling over onto my side to face her.

"Get uppppppppp!" she whined. "We're going out."

"What? Where?"

"Some of the crew are meeting up at the harbor for a drink. Its some little pub by the wharf. Come on, you'll be glad you went."

"ughhh.... do I have to?" I moaned into a plush pillow. I felt Alice's tiny hands attempting to drag me out of bed by the arm. Her attempts were cute at first, but she was too little to move me.

So when that didn't work, she resorted to pinching me. Hard.

"Owww! Shit, do both my siblings have to abuse me in order to wake me?"

"Apparently. Nothing else seems to work. Now get dressed, we're leaving in ten."

I heard Rosalie laughed loudly over the music. Her voice was one of many. The bar was packed and I was nursing a scotch and being miserable. Part of that was to spite Alice for waking me, and the other part was I was too annoyed to really try and have fun at the moment. Tanya, one of the newer Greenpeace volunteers, was clinging to my arm like a lifeline.

She was drop dead gorgeous, don't get me wrong. But after a month on a boat with her, I knew she wasn't what I wanted. She claimed to be committed to the cause, but she was as transparent as they come. She thought we were all a bunch of dumb hippies on a big boat and I caught her frequently smoking pot in the bathrooms. When help was needed, we all knew exactly where to find her. Napping.

"Edwarrrrrddd...." she slurred. "Tonight's my last night before I go home. Why don't we go somewhere so you can give me a proper good bye..."

I was overjoyed to hear she had decided to head home and wouldn't be accompanying us on the next outing. I wasn't so enthusiastic about being alone with her. I shrugged out of her grasp and headed towards the exit. I looked back to find her completely un-phased and clinging to the next gentlemen standing by the bar.

I pulled my scarf closer around my neck and walked through the side exit that emptied into a dimly lit alley frosted in snow. I needed a cigarette.

I never smoked too often, but once in a while it was the perfect fix for a crowded mind. I was enjoying being on land for a while, but I was anxious to get back out on the water and find these ships. Ship to ship confrontation was something my father feared. But I was more than ready for it. I wanted to see the faces of these heartless people. I wanted confrontation.

But that was just me. Always ready for a fight. I often had that fiercely protective instinct. I didn't think, I just fought...whether it be fighting Emmett over some trivial shit, or protesting beside Mom in one of her campaigns...when I signed myself onto an idea, I never did anything half assed.

The further I threw myself into something, the less time I had to realize I was still alone. I allowed myself to watch bitterly as couple retreated home from the bar, hand in hand. It was easy for me to scoff in disgust at their affection, but secretly, I wanted that more than anything.

I took a long drag and exhaled slowly, berating myself for thinking too much again. Suddenly, I heard a crash from behind a dumpster just down the alley. My view was partially blocked, the dumpster was just around the corner of the back of the bar, emptying into another adjacent street way. I expected a stray cat to come running out of the shadows but instead I heard foot steps.

Frantic, uneven foot steps.

I walked cautiously towards the sound, unable to stop my curiosity. I was just about to turn the corner when something slammed into me, sending me reeling backwards. I was just able to catch my balance before falling into the snow. My assailant however, was not so lucky.

I looked down to find someone - a girl - gathering scattered belongings and shoving them into her bag in a panic. Her breathing was short and ragged and her hands, red and raw with the cold, fumbled with her things.

_Didn't she have gloves? It's freezing out. That coat doesn't look warm enough..._

"Are you alright?" I asked, finally able to form coherent speech.

The girl jerked her head upwards in response to my voice, locking eyes with mine.

_Holy shit_.

There in the snow before me was the most enchanting creature I have ever encountered. I was drowning in a pair of the deepest, chocolate brown eyes I had ever seen, fringed with thick, beautiful eye lashes and accompanied by the most mesmerizing blush I had ever seen.

Her lips, full and pink, pouted in the most delicious way. Her face was stunning, framed by thick waves of mahogany hair.

I snapped my jaw shut when I realized she was staring up at me not with the same wonder I held for her, but with utter terror. She was_ afraid_ of me.

She whimpered slightly, scrambling to close up her back pack and backed away from me frantically.

"I'm not going to hurt you." I assured her, puzzled by her expression. What had I done to frighten her so? "It's okay...see?"

Slowly I reached my hand out to her, offering to help her up. She studied my face closely, probing my expression for something to trust. _Those eyes_!

It seemed like an eternity before she finally reached out to touch her fingertips to mine, cautiously taking me hand as I lifted her upwards. The was an electrical current buzzing through me at her touch. She must have felt it too because she yanked her hand away, her expression slapped with surprise.

"I - " I started to speak.

But before any words could leave my mouth, she took off running. She brushed past me and down the alley, slipping once or twice in her panic. She finally found her stride and bolted out of sight.

_Damn she was fast. _

I stood frozen in the snow. What the hell just happened? I closed my eyes and saw her face, breathing out a heavy sigh. She was by far, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

And she ran away. Gone.

How strange. To have this fleeting moment of absolute beauty leave as quickly as it arrived. Not fair. Not fair at all.

I eventually made my way back inside, still perplexed but what had just happened and irritated by all that I didn't know. Why was she running? What did I do to frighten her?

_Why does it matter? You're leaving in two days, remember?_

I combed my fingers through my hair in defeat. I guess I would never know the answers to all my questions.

Eventually the crowd of our friends and crew mates fizzled out into nothing in the wee hours of the morning. As I climbed into the thick, inviting comforter of my hotel bed, I couldn't for the life of me keep my thoughts from the brown eyed beauty I had met so briefly. I wondered where she was going. I wondered what her name was. I imagined how she might like her coffee in the morning, and if she liked boats.

My dreams were plagued by the face of the breath taking woman I would never see again.

**Or will he......? Stay tuned for more, I promise it will get better!!!! Next chapter is in BPOV. Please please review :)**


	2. The Nomad

**Hey guys. I know these first two chapters are a little on the lengthy side, but I felt there was some very important fragments of information that you needed before this story really gets going. So stick with me :) And please please review!**

**BPOV**

"You can try to run, Bella. I'll even give you a head start." James said with a dark laugh, his giant frame moving to the side of the door, leaving enough space for me to pass. He was taunting me. I had disobeyed him and I knew the consequence would rear its ugly head before the night was over.

The single light bulb illuminating the cabin swayed from the ceiling in time with the waves beneath us, making shadows dance across his menacing face.

"If you want to jump into freezing water and swim to shore, be my guest." He said, laughing at me again. "You'll be dead before you even get there."

I weighed my options. At this point, I would gladly brave those waters to get away from this floating shit hole. But I knew I wasn't strong enough. James kept me that way.

Nourished enough to survive and to work, but never strong enough to escape him.

He walked towards me, circling me slowly like I was his prey. He grasped my arm roughly and pulled me close enough to him so that his breath was hot on my neck as he spat into my face.

I hardened my face and stubbornly stared at the wall. My pride had never left me. Even after all this time.

Charlie would be proud. God I missed him.

"So you can run and die like a pathetic little girl, or you can stay here, finish the order and live to see another day."

He released me forcefully, my back slamming into my desk, knocking my books to the floor. I winced in pain but did not allow myself to cry out. He would never see me cry. Never again.

In fact, it had been two years since I had uttered a single word to him or anyone. I had lived two years of my life in utter silence. After the first few weeks aboard _The Nomad_, I quickly realized that my words were powerless, my screams were useless, and that I was more likely to be beaten into submission if I even considered verbal protesting.

I had been trained into silence.

It hadn't always been like this. I knew somewhere, all those years ago, James might have loved me. But now I was his stock and trade. His prisoner. My brilliant mind was his to control.

I was pulled roughly from my thoughts at the sound of James's harsh laughter.

"Look at you!" he snarled. "Still staring at the damn door like its a stairway to heaven! Ha! Isabella... always the _dreamer._"

He pushed me into my chair and swiveled the seat into the desk, slamming his hand down on my paperwork, my calculations under his hands. He leaned towards my ear and whispered to me through gritted teeth.

"Finish the order."

I stared straight ahead, my eyes stoney and defiant. He scoffed at my attempt to refuse him.

"You remember what happened the last time you tried to run from me, Bella Swan. Don't let that happen again. Your skin is far to beautiful for another punishment like that."

He ran his finger tips over the perfect half moon, silver scar on my right forearm. I shuddered as I remembered the curve of the blade he used the first and only time I tried to run. It was forever burned into my memory. I would hide my pain from him until my dying breath but in all truth...James terrified me.

_Bastard._

Without another word, he left the room, slamming the door behind him. I slammed my fists onto the desk, rattling the test jars and shaking the glass viles.

I found myself staring into the glass of the door's scuttle window, taking a good long look at my reflection.

I had lost myself. The young woman staring back at me was someone I didn't recognize. She was thin. Too thin. White as a sheet with dark circles under both brown eyes. Her hair a haphazard, mahogany mess.

Despite my disheveled appearance, I still recognized a glimmer of the girl I was before all of this mess. I was an intelligent girl. A science geek. Top of my class in college.

Well, I would have been if I hadn't been taken before being able to finish.

I swiveled in my chair, spinning in circles with my eyes closed until the room was buzzing and my brain grew hazy.

I stopped suddenly and let my eyes focus again. When the room had stopped spinning, I let my eyes wander over my little room. My little prison.

I called it my cabin, but really, I was in the belly of the boat. I slept beside the generator and large steel pipes.

You could see the water damage on the walls of this old house boat. The single light bulb still swayed on its chain over head. There were books littering the floor, stacked in corners and left open on my desk. Organic Chemistry, bio chemistry, theoretical and analytical chemistry....

.....and a collection of Austen and Bronte.

I may have been a geek, but I was still a girl. I was surprised I had been allowed to keep them. They were the most worn of all.

My bed was a pile of old life jackets bundled together under a blanket. James enjoyed his down mattress on second deck in his stateroom. It was a luxury he had made sure to give himself after our first sale to the local raiders.

He had tried to get me to stay there with him in the first few weeks of this hell. But I had refused. Forcefully so. He still had the mark on his hand where I bit him.

My desk was littered with paperwork, formulas, test tubes and supplies. I sighed at empty flashbang canisters that were scattered about.

I could be doing so much more with my work if I could just finish school. And here I was making flashbangs, bio-diesel vegetable oil fuel, butyric acid and methocyl bombs. Clever tools James used to steal and ruin people's livelihoods while he raided their ships. Tools he sold to other such pirates in these waters.

I was James's best kept secret. Or rather, his best kept prisoner.

My eyes rested on the window again. This window was all I had had to look at for two years. Two fucking years.

I had had no news from the outside world in that time. I hadn't heard any of the latest music. Once in a while I could feel the bass pulsing from James's radio above, but I could never hear the lyrics. I didn't know what movies had come out.

I hadn't laid eyes on another human being beside James since the day I was taken.

I was shaken from my thoughts as I heard voices from above. Loud, low voices. I could only make out a few words.

"I didn't realize....arrived here?....Kotzebue...." I recognized James's voice. He sounded different to me.

He sounded _scared_.

"...Cullens...." A different voice spoke.

Something landed hard on the floor with a thud. I heard a shattering sound and a muffled cry. A low grumbling, threatening voice.

I could feel my heart begin to flutter with fear.

And then..._hope. _

Someone could find me here. Someone could _save_ me.

I jumped to my feet, grabbing a canvas bag and stuffing what little belongings I had inside, stopping for a moment to listen when I felt the boat rock with new weight.

Someone was boarding _The Nomad_.

Foot steps pattered quickly all over the deck.

_Many_ people were boarding.

I guessed at least eight pairs of feet were now aboard the houseboat. I didn't hesitate. If this was my chance, I had to be prepared. I threw on a thick sweater. I didn't have a coat warm enough for outside, but this would have to do. I found my locket and the tattered picture of Charlie and Renee kept safe inside one of the hard covers in my Austen collection.

I could hear more shouting above me as I made my way to the door, opening it slowly.

My room was connected to a small washroom. On the other side of it was the stairway towards second deck. This was where James's room was located. He left the washroom and his bedroom open to me, in the hopes that I might one day decide to "stop being stubborn" and join him in his bed.

I preferred my lumpy excuse for a mattress over a place beside him in a luxurious bed anyday.

The door of his cabin leading out and up to the main deck was the door he kept consistently locked. Unless I was in his cabin, I couldn't even see the _sky_.

I crept along past the washroom and to the stairs leading to James's room. I could hear the voices clearer now. The door was just enough ajar that I could begin to see what was happening.

Men in thick, black wintry coats were tearing through James's things, creating a pile of all his valuables. James was being held captive by two large men. One figure stood before James, his back to me.

"I told you James, I'm not a patient man." hissed the figure. His voice was serpentine, smooth an full of menace. "I have asked you to do one thing and one thing only. And here I find you, spending my money luxuriously on furnishings for your cabin, floating aimlessly in Kotzebue."

"Aro, please..." James begged.

"The Cullens are leaving in two days time. I expect you to do as you were told. I came to you because you were rumored to be the best tracker on this side of the nautical world. Not to waste my efforts on lazy, talentless pirate. It amazes me that you were clueless to their arrival this morning. You _will not _make such mistakes again."

James was trembling. My heart was racing with panic. I thought this was my chance. But clearly, James was turning out to be the lesser of two evils. There was no telling what this man would do to me if I revealed myself. I looked to the ceiling and prayed fiercely for some kind of help.

"I believe I've made my point clear for this evening." The man named Aro spoke, walking away from where James was being held. Following him were several of his other men, holding armfuls of James's things.

"But as you have proved to be foolish before, I'll let Demitri and Caius clarify for me as well. Good evening, James."

With that Aro disappeared out the cabin door and on to the main deck. I almost gasped aloud to see it swing open, revealing to me for the first time in two years a sunset streaked sky. I felt the tears form in my eyes and held my breath. Freedom was just out of reach. Could I make a break for it?

Demitri and Caius let go of James only to pummel him to the floor with swift blows to head and chest.

_Wait, Bella. Patience, Bella_. _Do not get yourself killed_.

I held my breath and waited patiently until the noises ceased and the two terrifying men had disappeared.

With my breath still captive in my lungs, I peaked out to see James, a bloody heap on the ground. The cabin was trashed.

But the door...the door was still gloriously wide open. I stepped quietly into his room, trying to analyze my surroundings. I heard the motor of the retreating boat and knew James and I were the only ones left aboard _The Nomad_.

Judging from his steady breaths, I knew James was out cold. I snapped into action.

I had watched Aro's men steal most of James's belongings, but only I knew where James kept the money earned from sales of my chemical weaponry.

Weaponry. I hated that this is what I had come to. And I hated the fact that this money was all I had to use. It was blood money.

But I was out of choices. I quickly emptied the secret compartment in the wall beside his night table, disappointed to find only $240. He had been spending it all. He usually brought in much more for my work.

Without time to worry, I stuffed the money into my bag and finally..._finally _stepped through the open door.

My tears could no longer be contained as I was hit with the refreshing salty air and laid my eyes on the most spectacular sunset I had ever seen. Purples and oranges streaked across the Alaskan sky. The stars were beginning to speckle the darkest edges of the sky.

I wrapped my arms around myself, closing my eyes in gratitude to who ever it was up there looking out for me.

But I knew I wasn't out of the woods yet. I looked around the deck and out to the water, assessing my situation. I had to get_ off_ this boat.

I ran to the starboard side and looked out to see city lights twinkling not far from our position. That _bastard._ Making me believe we were isolated out here with no where to run, when really, we were floating around in a harbor!

My eyes spotted his gemini, floating in the water over the side, tied up and waiting to be released. It was a small water craft he used to zip back and forth while I was left alone to work. It would take me minutes to reach the docks in this baby.

I stumbled foolishly as I used what little strength I had to hoist myself over the side, falling in heap into the little boat. I scrambled to regain my focus, revving the motor to life and breathing rapidly in relief as I pulled away from my floating prison.

I was gunning the poor boat but it wasn't going fast enough for me.

_The Nomad_ was beginning to shrink in the distance. My eyes were wide and unblinking, taking everything in for the first time in so long. I could see the harbor clearer now. I could see the outline of buildings, I could smell cigarette smoke and the faint smell of food coming from a local pub. _Food_.

It had been two days since my last meal.

I could see people milling around.

_People_. I didn't know why, but suddenly I was afraid. How could I possibly explain myself, my story. What would they think of me? Could I even speak again?

The thought terrified me.

Just as I neared the wooden docks and cut the engine, a strange shadow was cast by unnatural light onto the bottom of the gemini.

I turned in horror to see _The Nomad_ purring steadily behind me, its deck lights pointed directly at my back. _No, No, No!!!_

I hadn't been able to hear it following me over the engine of my escape boat. Lost and overwhelmed in my new surroundings I hadn't thought to look.

I saw James's dark figure hulking over the port side rail.

"Isabella!" His voice roaring sent needles down my spine. I couldn't go back. I couldn't _possibly_ go back. He would put me back there. He was keep me away from this world.

Or he would kill me.

As soon as my boat was close enough to the dock, I leapt forward, pulling myself up with shaking limbs. My body was feeble and frail. Without proper nourishment or sunlight for so long, I was _weak_.

But sheer adrenaline was driving me forward. As soon as my feet were solid on the wooden planks, I_ ran_.

Buildings and lights, cars, boats and faces passed me at light speed. I took _off. _ Running down the wharf as fast as my wobbly legs could carry me.

My breath came rapidly in ragged pants. My eyes were brimming with tears.

I was so _lost_.

I didn't recognize a single building. I saw not one familiar face or kind expression. People were staring at me in either confusion or..._humor_.

I knew what I must have looked like to them. Some crazy homeless girl making a scene in the middle of a crowded public area. This was _entertainment_ to them.

The tears came full force now as the truth hit me like a brick.

_No one cared_. I could hear James's voice in my head like it was yesterday...

"_Give up, Bella. No one is looking for you. They don't give a shit."_

I may have been free from James's grasp...for now...but I was still utterly and completely alone. I had to find my own way.

And I knew he would follow. He'd be right behind me. Haunting me. Aro had mentioned James as the "best tracker on this side of the nautical world."

He wasn't lying.

I felt like a new born seeing the world for the first time. And I had absolutely no clue what to do with myself. My instincts told me to run and hide.

So that's exactly what I did.

Unable to take the laughing and the cold stares, and constantly looking over my shoulder, I bolted for the alley behind a noisy pub, only allowing myself to stumble to a slower, irregular pace when I saw nothing but an empty passageway and snow covered dumpster.

My whole body was trembling. I could feel the strain my muscles were under. I felt light headed and weak. My stomach roared at me.

I listened to the muddled voices and music from the pub as I walked at a brisk pace. Even though being overwhelmed by so many people frightened me, I knew I had a better chance of escaping James if I got lost in a crowd.

Fumbling again, I sped around the corner with the intention of entering the building and finding a place to disappear.

However instead...I slammed into someone. Hard. I went reeling backwards straight onto my ass. The meager contents of my back pack spilling into the snow.

Panic consumed me as I frantically scraped together my belongings.

"Are you alright?"

I snapped to attention as I heard the smooth, velvet voice address me. I found myself staring straight into the emerald eyes of the most beautiful man I had ever seen. He was looking at me with wide eyes, filled with concern and another emotion I couldn't place.

Who was he? I started to panic as paranoia consumed me. Why was he alone out here? Was this a trap? Was he helping James?

He seemed to pick up on my fear as he carefully raised his hands in a gesture of trust and surrender.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He said softly. "It's okay...see?" He slowly outstretched his hand towards me, offering to help me up off the wet ground.

I studied him closely, everything in me wanting to trust him. But to think....I had trusted _James_ once.

This stranger's face was absolutely mesmerizing. His features were striking and dark. His hair tousled in the most perfect mess. Those eyes. Dark emeralds, piercing and mysterious.

I looked down at his hand reaching out for me.

I wanted to take it. I wanted this perfect, beautiful stranger to be the very first contact I had had in two years. The first human touch. I wanted to speak, but the words were stuck painfully in my throat.

Slowly, I reached forward, my fingertips just brushing his.

The electrical current I felt was beyond explaining. Of all the science I had studied, i had never experienced a reaction such as this. It was as if our bodies could buzz and glow at the same time on contact, consuming us in a warmth I had never known.

It frightened me.

I was overwhelmed with emotion. I knew I had to run. Run before he knew what I was. Before he knew what was coming for me.

And so I did.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

I didn't know what time it was, only that it was late in the night and most of this port city was fast asleep.

I stayed hidden in the shadows and lets myself get lost in the maze of streets surrounding the harbor, until eventually...

I found myself at the docks yet again.

Except this time I was on the other side of the port. I could barely see _The Nomad_ from where I stood, hidden behind a fishing shed. James was far from my sight.

I scanned the harbor and found my eyes sailing over the endless rows of fishing boats until I was staring straight at the largest vessel I had ever laid eyes on.

She was no Titanic, but it had certainly been a while since I had seen the ships come into Kotzebue. And this one...she was special.

She was _beautiful_.

As if someone above was sending me a sign, I read her name.

_The Guardian_.

I felt hope flutter in my chest and an idea spring forth.

James would search for me endlessly, until he either imprisoned me again, or killed me. I had to think of the last place he would look to hide.

I didn't know where this beautiful ship was headed, but I knew it held my salvation. The last place I had intended to run was back out to sea....but wasn't that exactly what James would think?

I walked along the docks until I was closer to The Guardian, studying her structure. I knew I had to get on board unnoticed. If I was caught stowing away, I would be handed over to the Coast Guard.

And I knew by now that they were the last people I could trust.

My mind flashed back to my first attempt to flee _The Nomad._ Desperate, I had jumped into the water and swam as though my life depended on it, James laughing the entire time behind me. Beginning to suffer from hypothermia, I had dared to hope when I saw the Coast Guard boat coming my way.

I let myself believe I was saved as they wrapped me in a wool blanket and brought me into the warm cabin.

I was lost in despair to see James waiting for me there with the most evil grin on his face, flipping his switchblade menacingly.

He shook hands with the Coast Guard Officer.

"Thank you, Laurent." he smiled and gripped my arm tightly as they escorted us back to _The Nomad_. I had never felt so hopeless.

Looking up at_ The Guardian_ now, I could see lights on a top the bulwark. There was some kind of celebration on board. The door at the entrance at the every top of the gangway.

Without a second thought I ran towards it, not stopping until I was out of the freezing wind and safe inside _The Guardian_.

Warm light washed over me and sounds flooded my senses. There were many people aboard. They passed me moving in strange time, walking in sync with the affect of the alcohol they were all obviously consuming.

Good, they were drunk. They wouldn't notice or remember me. I hoped.

I stiffened in fear as a young man approached me. Messy blond hair and blue eyes. He gazed up and down my body and smiled at me. His breath reeked of rum and his cotton t-shirt read, "Save The Whales."

"Hey, there!" he said with light in his eyes. "Are you a new recruit? Come have a drink!"

I shook my head no, smiling politely and turned to leave. He didn't let me.

I shuddered as his hand clamped firmly on my arm. He was threatening me, but he was making me extremely nervous.

"Awww C'monnn!" he slurred. "Come have a drink with me, I'm Mike. Mike Newton."

I yanked out of his grasp and took off again. I let myself get lost in a maze of narrow hallways and cabins, trying to become invisible, trying desperately to find a place to hide. They _couldn't_ find me. It was critical that I stay out of sight.

My head began to spin and my chest was hurting me, strained from running. My vision began to blur.

_No no no...stay awake, Bella. Stay awake_.

I went down countless flights of stairs, trying to find my way to the belly of the ship. A cargo hold,_ something_.

Everything began to look the same to me. I felt the tears falling in my frustration and confusion. My physical weakness was overcoming my body.

I didn't feel the steps coming.

I couldn't find the railing in time.

And soon I was falling roughly down stairs into the dark. My hips and ribs slamming into the steel steps, my body twisting beneath me. I felt my back pack being crushed into my back.

Finally the world stopped spinning and I was lying in darkness. The sound of the generator humming was all I could hear. The noise echoed off pipes. I could hear a faint dripping noise. I couldn't see anything.

Pain racked my body, I couldn't move. Warm liquid seeped from my head and side. I winced realizing it was my own blood I was laying in.

I wanted to cry for help, but my voice had been lost.

_Hopeless. This was hopeless_.

I couldn't fight to stay awake anymore. I let the darkness consume me, reality ebbing away until all I could do was dream of emerald eyes.


	3. Lost and Found

**Hey everyone, thanks for reading this story! The reviews so far are very encouraging. Please please please keep them coming and I will do my best to update as often as humanly possible. :) The more reviews, the sooner the update :)**

**EPOV**

Our two days in the harbor flew by miraculously fast. I could feel my anxiety levels rising steadily the entire time we were on land. I couldn't help it really. I was raised on that damn ship. Being on land made me homesick for _The Guardian_.

And plus... I was just itching to fly today.

I knew my family was feeling the same as I was. There was an invisible tension in the air, the task lying in the months before us was on everyone's mind.

We would have to be patient. The hardest part about this particular voyage would be finding and locating the Japanese "research" ships. It could take days...weeks even.

I had played the part of the dutiful brother, following Alice around on her shopping excursions as she picked out new clothes for Emmet and I. She liked to do this often times when we stopped at a port. It was her way of taking care of us.

And though neither of us liked very much to shop, we let her.

We also helped place supply orders and ensured that they were loaded carefully onto the ship by Kotzebue Harbor masters. Our vessel was ready and waiting.

This morning, I rose earlier than the rest...which in fact was quite early. We all had to be up and running by 5am to get down to the loading docks and re group before taking off. The crew had celebrated the past few nights on board, welcoming new recruits. This morning would be their orientation.

I wasn't always a compliant early riser, but this morning I awoke on my own at 4:02 am. I was shaking myself from a dream that had plagued me for the past two nights in a row.

I was dreaming of the brown eyed girl from the alley.

The dreams themselves were terrifying, leaving me out of breath and frantic when I woke up. In it, I was running, searching for her. unrecognizable buildings and faces blurred past me. I could see glimpses of her face in fleeting moments, and I would turn on my heel to follow her in a new direction.

She was screaming. She was in _pain_. No words were leaving her luscious lips, but I knew in my gut she was _begging_ me for help.

I had kept my eyes peeled on shopping trips with Alice, as crazy as it sounded, I was hoping I would see her. Even if just for a moment. I was consumed with curiosity as I envisioned her beautiful face.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I heard the rest of my family beginning to stir in the hotel rooms beside mine. I dressed slowly and deliberately, my mind still overwhelmed with thoughts of this woman I would never see again.

I couldn't recognize the emotion she was evoking from me. Was it regret? I should have stopped her, helped her..._something._ Because now I couldn't shake this feeling. Would I always wonder...?

"Edward...you ready to go?" I heard my mother's voice on the other side of the door. Her voice was always so gentle, so loving. I opened the door and she kissed me good morning, running her hands through my hair playfully.

"C'mon kiddo, time to shove off." she said with a smile. I knew she was relieved to be getting back to _The Guardian_. I could see it in her face. Determination, excitement...it was all there.

It didn't take long to get to the docks. A sense of pride filled me as we laid eyes on our ship, looking majestic and intimidating in the tiny harbor. We were on a mission.

Alice took charge immediately as soon as we were all on board, taking roll call and directing new recruits to the empty cabins on the east side of the ship.

"Be back in the galley in ten minutes for orientation!" she squealed after them. There were are about 40 new volunteers joining us this time around. Alice skipped around the room, grabbing extra chairs, getting out her notes in order to lead the orientation.

It was the same every time. My parents would introduce themselves, Mom would explain our campaign - always a perfect way to excite and motivate the new crew members. You could compare it to locker room pep talks before a big game.

Dad would describe the dangers of our trip, giving them all the chance to turn back. This wasn't a game. This wasn't some hugely sponsored, whiny, protest. We were not pleading for help anymore. We were taking action.

After that, Alice would run down a list of rules and chores, assigning jobs and dividing work crews.

Emmett stood beside me as we watching the newbies fumble around the deck, a mess of excited limbs. Emmett chuckled beside me.

"Noobs."

My eyes traveled down the vast length of the top deck until they reached the hanger. The helicopter was safe inside.

"Hey, Em..." I said. "What do you say we skip orientation and go for a ride?"

His eyes lit up and he nodded in agreement. We hurried back to our cabin only to come to a sudden halt, finding Alice standing in our door way.

She gave us a knowing glare. We were often skipping out on these kinds of meetings.

"Pleeease Alice?" I gave her my best pout and begged her with my eyes. She stared us both down for a moment but then sighed heavily and rolled her eyes in defeat. I hugged her tightly and ran into my room to grab my coat and winter gear.

"You two owe me a game of Hide and Seek when you get back." she called after us.

Emmett and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes.

Ever since we were little, Alice loved to play Hide and Seek onboard. She was the best at hiding, driving both me and Emmett absolutely _nuts_ trying to find her. She was so tiny she could fit just about anywhere. Not to mention - there were plenty of places to hide on this big old boat. Hide and Seek games were intense in this family.

Hard. Core.

We still liked to play once in a while. Especially on the first day of a voyage. It would take time to get far enough out in to arctic waters before we were really needed and we passed the time by playing Hide and Seek.

I sighed in annoyance, knowing that either Emmet or I would have to play Seeker and that it would be impossible to find her. But I looked out to the hanger again and knew I _had _to fly today. Just for a little while. I wanted to see if we could spot our gentle giants today. If I flew just enough ahead, there was a good chance we might.

Emmett and I raced down to the hanger. I always won. He may be bigger and stronger, but I was _much _faster.

I did a quick check over the fuel lines before jumping into the cock pit, pulling on my head set as the familiar excitement boiled up inside of me. I pulled my gloves on and tightened my neck warmer as the hanger's cover began to slide open, revealing the open water and sky to us.

"Lets go baby brother!" Emmett shouted enthusiastically. He loved to come for short flights with me. There was something so incredible about flying over an open ocean...especially if we happened to spot a group of the beautiful creatures we were trying so desperately to defend.

Sure enough, not long into the flight, we caught sight of a fin whale and her calf. I heard Emmett wooping loudly beside me, eyes wide as we watching the gentle animals glide through the water.

I thought back to our time in Siberian waters a few years back. We had successfully been able to keep whaling ships at bay with our presence there. We had an excellent team of journalists with us, keeping film and photo documents at all times. The few whaling ships we did encounter shied away from being caught red handed in the media spotlight.

Commercial whalers were interested in whale oil, baleen, meat and in the case of sperm whales...ambergris - an ingredient for _perfume_.

It still boggled my mind that anyone could harm these stunning, innocent creatures for something as trivial as perfume. Where was the justice in that? A loss of innocent life in order to provide selfish, unnecessary luxuries to people with fat wallets and ignorant minds.

It disgusted me to know end how careless human beings could be. But I couldn't feel anger now as I watched the whales swim below us. They were so beautiful. They had strength and power and yet were gentle and simple creatures. We stayed out above them for nearly 45 minutes.

I was shaken from my thoughts as Alice's voice scratched through the radio and into our headsets.

"Alright you two, enough ditching for one day." she said. "Come back here so I can kick your asses at a game of Hide and Seek!"

Reluctantly, I found our course and headed back towards the ship, which had now pulled out of the harbor and was gliding gracefully towards the nearest water way connected to open sea. I landed smoothly and closed up the hanger for the day.

"Any sitings, son?" Dad asked, meeting us at the hanger doors. Emmett nodded excitedly.

"Two fin, Mom and baby." he gushed. "Beautiful, Dad. Just...amazing."

Dad smiled knowingly. "Its why we do what we do." He winked. "Now go get lost. We won't hit open ocean for another couple hours. Then the real fun begins."

We made our way up to the helm where Alice was sitting with Mom, hovering over several maps.

"About time!" she squeaked, clapping her hands excitedly. "Start counting, bitches!"

She took off out the door and past sick bay, blowing a kiss to Jasper. I heard Emmett sigh in annoyance beside me.

"Here we go again."

"C'mon man. It'll be easier if we spread out and both look for her." I punched his arm playfully and sauntered down to the medical office.

Jasper looked up at me with a sympathetic smile. Alice never asked him to play because he always found her, spoiling her fun. He knew my sister so well, he had an uncanny ability to guess where she was.

"Jazz, come on. Help me out here."

I watched him mull it over in his head. He shrugged in surrender.

"I've got nothin' else to do..." he laughed, rising from his chair to follow me.

"Which direction do you think she went...up or down?" Emmett asked.

"I definitely heard her go down a flight of stairs. You _know_ she's going for the cargo hold. That pixie can find any tiny place to hide. The hold is huge. It'll take you guys forever to find her." Jasper said with a laugh.

We took our time going down several flights of stairs and navigating the narrow passageways until we were at the door of the hold. This side of the ship was fairly quiet and unpopulated.

In truth...it was just creepy.

"Aww man...I hate the hold. It's fuckin' shady, man..." Emmett whined as we opened the door. The hold was pitch black.

Jasper took a deep breath beside me. "You guys are such babies. Come on..."

But before any of could move, we heard blood curdling scream coming from directly below us.

Alice's face was ghost white and she shot up the stairs out of the darkness, colliding directly with Jasper.

"S-Someone's down there!" she stuttered, as she found her balance. I gasped as I saw her hands. As she grasped Jasper's shirt, she was leaving stained fingerprints all over him.

"Alice...Alice is that...blood?" I asked breathlessly. Jasper snapped to attention, taking Alice gently in his arms and searching her over.

"Baby, are you hurt?" Concern warped his features as he watched her cry.

"No! I'm fine. But she's not. Jazz...you have to help her. Y-you have to _help_ her."

Emmett ran to the a supply closet on the left of the stairs, opening it to find flashlights as he handed them out to each of us. I took one and switched it on quickly.

"Em - go get Dad." I said with urgency. I had no idea what was waiting for us at the bottom of the stairs.

Alice followed Jasper and I down the stairs, trembling as she went.

"I didn't see her! I tripped over something in the dark, I thought - I didn't know until she cried!"

"Shhh...baby its okay." We reached the bottom of the stairs and I scanned the floor with my flashlight. My stomach tightened as I spotted a thin trail of blood. It looked as though whoever had been injured down here has dragged themselves away from the stairs.

My hands started to tremble a little as I followed the trail, holding my breath. This felt like the beginning of a horror movie.

My flashlight traveled over something in the dark. It was a backpack. It was strewn haphazardly on the floor, some of its contents scattered around it. I bent down to pick up something I spotted shining brightly as it reflected my flashlight.

I could see my breath in the air. I forgot how cold it was down here.

I picked up a small, silver locket. I popped it open, revealing two smiling faces. One of a man in uniform with a thick mustache and one of a pregnant woman with bright eyes and flowers in her hair.

My heart softened upon seeing these people.

I continued to follow the trail behind a large palette of supplies. I could begin to hear the ragged breaths of whoever this stranger was. With baited breath I turned the corner and shined my light down on a tiny body, curled up in a fetal position, back to me, trembling, clothes stained with blood and dirt.

"Jasper, over here!"

I knelt down beside this fragile being moved until I could see them clearer.

I almost choked as I saw her face.

_It was her._

It was the brown eyed girl. _My_ brown eyed girl.

"Shit," I heard Jasper curse at the sight of her. She was a mess. I watched him ghost over her with speed and accuracy, checking her pulse, for any broke bones.

"Her pulse is barely there." he said as he looked over her. "We need to get her upstairs, I can't see or do anything here."

"Edward?" I heard my Dad call from the top of the stairs. I didn't hesitate. I scooped up the breakable girl in my arms as gently as I could. She was _so cold_.

"Alice, grab her things." I instructed. "Dad, hold the door."

The girl weighed almost nothing in my arms. I held on to the sound of her breathing, ragged and strained. Once or twice as I flew up the stairs and through passageways, she stopped breathing for moment, until choking a cough and continuing to fight for air.

My heart was in my throat.

Finally making it down Jasper's hallway, I shouted at the new recruits, aimlessly filling the hall.

"MOVE!"

Jasper raced ahead and moved paperwork from the empty gurney, grabbing pillows and blankets.

As carefully as I could, I laid the girl down on the bed, finally getting a closer look at her in the day light flooding through Jasper's windows. I heard Alice enter behind me, the back pack in her hand, studying the locket closely.

"Bella..." she muttered.

"What?"

"Her name...it must be Bella. Here, look." Alice handed me the locket. There, engraved on its back was a delicate swan and the name: Bella.

I looked back at the beautiful young woman laying before me_. Bella_. She finally had a name.

Jasper shooed us out of the room, only allowing Esme inside who had come to see what the commotion was. He needed help getting Bella out of her ripped and tattered clothes and didn't want her to be too alarmed if she awoke to find a strange man undressing her.

It took all I had to wait patiently out in the galley.

Alice got cleaned up and Dad made up a pot of coffee, sitting with us as we waited. I was a fidgeting mess of nerves. _She was here_.

And what was more is that my dreams had been correct. She _was_ in pain. She _did _need our help.

"Are you both alright?" Dad asked, concern lacing his expressions.

"Yeah Dad, just a little shaken up, that's all." replied Alice. I was silent. I was overwhelmed with shock. _She was here_.

I thought I would never see her again and now here she was. She had found her way to me. I had never been more hopeful or more _afraid_.

What if she didn't make it?

"I've never seen you so jumpy, Edward. Are you sure you're alright?"

I looked up at him and shifted in my seat again.

"I know her, Dad." He and Alice both looked at me incredulously.

"You know her?!"

"I don't _know her,_ know her....but I ran into her at the pub our first night at the port. She was running from something and we kind of...collided." I explained. "I helped her up but before I could say anything she just..._bolted._"

Dad studied my face. "I wonder what she was running from." he said. Taking a deep breath he continued. "Well in such a case as this, I'd have to call the Coast Guard to report a stow away, but I think we should wait. I want to hear her story first."

I nodded appreciatively. My body had tense at the words "Coast Guard." For some reason, I was vehemently against anyone taking Bella away. Every fiber of my being had committed itself to protecting her.

Why? I have no idea. I didn't know who she was, where she came from, I didn't know her story. But what I_ did_ know was that I had to keep her _safe_.

It felt like hours had passed before Mom came through the sick bay doors. I jumped to my feet at her arrival. She sighed, heavily and pinched the bridge of her nose. Not a good sign.

"She's sleeping, now. Jasper stabilized her." she said as she motioned for me to sit down.

I released a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"From the looks of it, she took a bad fall down those stairs. She's got a cracked rib and a bruised hip done. She needed some stitches for a small gash on her side and cut on her brow, but she's going to be okay."

I loosened my grip on my coffee mug ever so slightly.

"What worries me is what happened _before _the fall." she continued. "Jasper said she's suffering from long term malnutrition and dehydration and she has several chemical burns on her arms and legs. The poor thing is barely 102 pounds."

I could see Mom's face begin to crease with worry and her eyes begin to get glassy with unshed tears. She couldn't stand to see any living thing mistreated. It was her unyielding compassion that got her where she was today.

"Can we...can I see her?" I asked quietly. My eyes were pleading with her. She read my expression with a bit of surprise. She nodded her consent and told me Jasper was in there with her now.

I walked down the hall and entered through his door carefully, trying not to make too much noise.

The fear and panic that had filled this room merely hours ago, had lessened immensely. It was quiet and calm. Jasper tended to have that air about him. He was very good at calming unnerved patients or riled up recruits suffering from sea sickness.

He turned in his chair to see me standing in the door way.

"Esme probably filled you in..." he whispered, jotting down something on his clipboard. He patted my shoulder as he made his way to the door. "It's a miracle we found her when we did."

"I'm going to check on Alice, I'll be right back. Call if you need me." he said as he left.

With the click of the closing door I realized we were alone. Just Bella and I. Cautiously, I approached her bad and sat on Jasper's stool beside it. I took the time to look over her.

_Really_ look at her. To study her face closely. Even at what looked like death's door, this woman was stunning.

There was a strange expression of peace on her face. It looked though she was enjoying a good night's sleep for the first time in years.

Her alabaster skin was flawless, tainted only slightly by the dark circles under her eyes. Her long eye lashes cast shadows on her face.

She was bandaged and changed, her hair was damp and clean and she smelled like Esme's shampoo.

I studied the rest of her. She was extremely thing. She had been mistreated. I could see angry red marks on the backs of her hands. Chemical burns.

I reached forward and pulled her blanket up over her arms, trying my best to gently tuck her in.

_Who are you, Bella_?

I buried my head in my hands, overwhelmed with so many questions. I still couldn't believe that Fate had some how reunited us. Two strangers, meeting only for the briefest of moments...

Only just this morning I was dreaming of her and now, here she was.

I found Jasper's cushioned chair and sat down, resting my forehead against my fist. I had to know her story. I had to hear her voice.

I wasn't leaving until Bella opened those beautiful brown eyes.

**:) Reviews make my life.**


	4. Awakening

**Well, I was going to wait for more feedback before posting again, but now I'm on a roll and I just can't wait. You guys don't mind if I update do you? hahaha please keep the wonderful reviews coming. You are all brilliant. :)**

**BPOV**

I didn't know what this was, but part of me liked it. I wasn't awake, but I wasn't completely gone either. I had no sense of how much time was passing. If I concentrated hard enough, I would forget the feeling of the cold surrounding me.

If I worked even harder at it, I could pretend that every inch of me wasn't aching.

Thats the way it was, in and out of consciousness, sometimes stuck in between. At times I was awake enough to flex my fingers and toes, just to make sure I was still alive.

I wasn't sure where my belongings had landed, or where exactly I was on this huge ship. I only knew darkness, either in my mind or in the giant echoing room around me.

I dreamed of home. Of Charlie and Renee. Of my own bed. Of mugs of hot chocolate and fire places.

But most of all, I dreamed about a green eyed boy. He would appear between the images swirling through my mind to simply say,

"_Don't go_."

In my mind I wanted to cry out to him, but even then, the words were lodged in my chest, unable to come out.

I remember hearing foot steps because they jarred me into the present. They skipped above me with excitement, soft and gentle they landed.

But then they got louder, closer. The room was spinning but I forced myself to focus.

_I couldn't be found_.

I trembled as I lifted myself painfully onto my elbows. Pain shot up my side with an alarming force. I bit my lip - hard. I couldn't make a sound. I couldn't give myself away.

With a great amount of effort and pain, I used my legs to push myself towards the darkest shadows behind something giant and blurry to the right of my vision. I could hide behind it. If I could just _get_ there, I might be able to make it. I just needed to rest.

I felt hot tears on my cheeks as I heaved my weary body in the direction of my hiding place. I was shaking like a leaf, my body begging to shut down again, to just sleep. I was choking back sobs when I heard a door open from atop the stair case. A light trickling down.

I willed myself to move faster, crawling and scrambling desperately. With what strength I had left, I threw myself into the shadows and curled into a ball, trying to make myself as small as possible, out of sight.

I remember trying to focus on my breathing, trying to be quiet. But I couldn't. My eyes were closing, the cold wrapping its arms around me again.

Something knocked into me - hard. Losing control over my own body, I whimpered aloud as the pain ripped through me. Then the darkness settled upon me again.

The rest is a blur to me. I could hear muffled voices, I felt strong arms around me. Even in my subconscious I knew I should run, but I couldn't. I felt _safe_ here in these arms. And I was sick of running. Of being afraid.

So I let go. With my mind and my body. I felt hands on me, warm water, soft whispers, gentle sheets...but I was lost in the stillness of unconsciousness. It was nice here. There was simply nothing to fear.

I was surrounded in warmth, my body resting fully. I slept. The peace washed over me in waves, steadily rocking me as my body began to heal.

Finally, feeling rested and ready, my mind let itself come back to the present. My senses focused. My ears registered the sound of gentle, mechanical humming beneath me. I remembered where I was and identified the sound as the purr of _The Guardian_ beneath me.

I flexed my fingers, feeling soft, inviting cotton respond to my movements. I moved my head a little, feeling the give of a pillow - _a real pillow_ beneath me.

Cautiously, I let my eyelids flutter open and my eyes focus on my surroundings.

The room I was resting in was draped in early evening shadows. To my left was a wall, its windows revealing the remnants of a day as the sun had just disappeared. I felt the boat sway beneath me and closed my eyes again.

I couldn't explain the peace I felt. I had no idea where I was or what would happen to me. But I knew when I looked at that sky, that I was safer than I had ever been. I let myself stare out the windows until the stars revealed themselves and a small smile broke upon my lips.

"Hello." came a voice from my right. If it hadn't been so reverently quiet, I doubt I would have heard it at all. I had heard this voice. It was soft, and gentle and kind. It was the voice I had been dreaming about.

_But it couldn't be....could it_?

I turned my head slowly to face the speaker.

_It was him._ It was the green eyed boy from my dreams. My surprise was manifested itself in one loud gasp. _How_...?

Without thinking I bolted upright in bed and immediately regretted that decision. The pain had lessened immensely, but I was so sore. Everywhere. I hurt _everywhere_. And Something was tugging my arm with a pinch. It was an IV.

"Careful!" said Green Eyes. Concern was etched across his face and he quickly rose to his feet as I struggled with the IV and the oxygen mask on my face. Get it off. _Get it off._ I was starting to panic, feeling trapped.

I felt warm hands find mine, stopping my movements short. I recognized that electric buzz as he touched me. I froze and looked up into his eyes. He was sitting on the edge of the bed now. I welcomed his closeness. He smelled wonderful...like clean sheets and Sunday mornings.

I let my eyes find his. For some reason, the panic subsided and was replaced with wonder. I looked at him softly, studying his features carefully. Even though I didn't know who he was, my entire being was glad to see him.

A familiar face was exactly the thing I needed.

His eyes held so many emotions, half of them I couldn't place. But then again, I hadn't looked at the face of a kind man in two years. It was like I was rediscovering what it was to be cared for. He didn't know me, but I could see in his expression that he _cared_. At one point, I even let myself reach up slowly and trace his cheek.

His eyes widened at my touch. I paused, berating myself. _God, he must think I'm a lunatic_. But when the surprise vanished from his face, a loving look replaced it. He carefully reached up and removed my breathing mask, which I was thankful for. I could smell his scent even better now. He gently leaned over me and fixed my pillows, guiding me back down to them on my back.

"Don't be afraid." he said in almost a whisper. "You're safe here."

He pulled the blankets back over me and sat back down in the chair next to the bed. I almost whined at the vacancy he left on my bed. He was leaning towards me on the edge of his chair, elbows on his knees. He gestured to the IV.

"I'd take that out for you, but I don't think Jasper would advise it. Its keeping you hydrated." Again, he studied my face. I could only look at him blankly, still puzzled by his being here.

"I'm Edward. Edward Cullen." he said with a crooked grin.

_Holy crap_. Angels just sang.

He looked puzzled at my expression. I realized then that I still hadn't said a word. But how could I? Where do I begin? What do I say? My chest tightened with the anxiety. Even if I wanted to speak, I couldn't yet.

"Can you...can you understand me, Bella?" Edward asked, clearly confused by my silence and wide eyed stare. I quickly nodded, trying to reassure him that I wasn't mentally handicapped.

Then my eyes widened in surprise. _ He called me Bella_. He knew my name. Shit. _Shit._ Even though I was completely pulled in by this beautiful man and his beautiful voice...

I had been deceived before. Was James waiting for me outside? Did he know I was here?

Just then the door flew open, startling me. _Was it him? Was it James?_ I had to run. _Now._

Ignoring the ache, I jumped upright again, this time up on to my knees.

"Wait! Bell-"

I yanked the IV from my arm and scrambled off the bed. Hot tears sprang to my eyes as I searched the room for a place to hide, holding my side as it throbbed painfully. I could feel blood trickling down my arm from where the IV had been.

_He can't find me. Not now. I've come so far_.

I heard voices and felt the presence of people behind me as my eyes assessed the room. I found nothing but a corner. There was no place. to hide. I pressed my back to the corner and sank to my knees, curling into a tiny ball, breathing erratically.

My eyes, blurred with tears as I saw two figures approach me. I covered my face and head, trying to shove myself as far into the corner as possible.

I waited to hear it. Waited to hear his disgusting voice. Waited to feel the cool steel of his switchblade on my skin.

But that sound never came. Instead I heard Edward's voice.

"Just back up, guys! Give her some space!" I heard him instruct. I peeked out from underneath my hands to see him standing in front of me defensively, his back towards me and arms out in a protective stance. He was _shielding_ me.

Whoever he was speaking to obeyed him. Slowly, he turned to me, crouching to the ground until he was sitting cross legged with his back to the wall, a safe distance away from me. He was being very careful.

"Bella?" he said softly. My name on his lips struck my heart. I looked up to meet his eyes, pulling the loose, white night gown ever my bare legs.

"I _swear_ to you, Bella. No one here will lay a hand on you. I won't let anyone hurt you. You have my word." He never broke eye contact with me and spoke with such conviction, I couldn't help but believe him. His eyes were begging for my trust.

He hesitantly reached out his hand for me. "It's okay. You're safe."

My eyes flashed from his open hand to the figure behind him where a tall man stood. He had blonde wavy hair and a worried expression. Beside him was a tiny girl, with short, dark spiky hair. Her face matched that of the man beside her.

My eyes came to rest on Edward again. His hand was still open to me, his expression pleading with me.

"They won't hurt you," he said firmly. "I promised you."

He motioned to them quickly. "That's Doctor Jasper Whitlock, he's been taking care of you. And that is my sister Alice. She found you yesterday."

_Yeserday? Jesus, how long have I been out of it?_

I nodded slowly in understanding. I cautiously reached out to touch his hand, my fingertips gliding over his palm until my own palm met his.

I was suddenly embarrassed by my minor over reaction. I put on my brave face and wiped my tears as he gently helped me to my feet.

_Oww._

My knees buckled beneath me. I had forgotten how weak I really was. Before I could hit the floor, I felt Edward react, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me safely to his chest before I could make impact.

I stayed there for a moment, my head against his chest, breathing him in. My body tingled in his embrace. What is this? What is this feeling? I want more of this.

I thought I felt him press his lips to my hair and I immediately wanted to cry. Nobody had cared for me this way. Not for a very very long time.

He helped me over to the bed and pulled the covers up over me again. He leaned over me to gently move my pillows back into place. His face hovered over mine for the briefest of moments. He started to back away to allow the doctor to come and examine me but I caught his hand. I didn't want him to leave.

He said he was going to keep me safe. I wanted him with me. His eyes poured over me and he squeezed my hand in understanding as he sat down on the edge of my bed.

The doctor approached slowly and pulled his stool up to my side.

"Hello, Bella. I'm Jasper." His voice was extremely calming. I knew as soon as he spoke that he meant me no harm. "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to hook up the IV again. You'll feel a small pinch."

Edward was holding my hand. I couldn't feel a damn thing other than that.

"Do you know where you are, Bella?" Jasper asked.

I nodded.

"Do you remember how you got here?" I nodded yes again. Jasper looked to Edward, a little confused.

"She understands, she just hasn't responded verbally yet." he explained. I gave his hand a small squeeze in gratitude.

"Well, she may be experiencing some psychological trauma. I don't want to push her just yet. I think we should let her just rest up."

My stomach growled loudly. I blushed, embarrassed. Jasper smiled and looked to Alice.

"Alice, do you think you could ask Rosalie to make something for Bella? Nothing too heavy, I want to see how she handles food."

The girl called Alice smiled and left the room. _Food? Food. Yesssssssss_.

"I'm going to go and tell Carlisle she's awake. I'll be back, Edward." Jasper said, following Alice out the door.

I felt myself blush again as I realized I was alone with a gorgeous stranger and he was holding my hand.

He caught me blushing and smiled that crooked grin. He reached over to the cluttered desk and grabbed something. Opening my hand he placed the item in my palm. It was my locket.

Propped up on pillows I felt immediately more relaxed having it back in my possession. It was my one of my only pieces of home. I opened it, looking at the old picture of Charlie in his uniform and Renee, round bellied with me at 8 months.

"It was with your things when we found you." Edward explained. "Thats how I knew your name."

I nodded and smiled, blinking back tears. I took the locket and put it on, clasping it behind my neck and letting the cool metal rest on my chest. I sighed relief. I opened the locket again to show Edward the pictures.

"Are they your parents?" I nodded again, smiling. I pointed to my Mom's giant belly and then pointed to myself.

"Thats you?" Edward said with a smile. Yes, thats me.

It was quiet for a moment. But the silence was comfortable. Finally, Edward spoke.

"Look...Bella..." he said, his voice strained. "I don't know what happened to you...who _hurt_ you. But I feel very....protective of you."

I studied him closely and I could see it all there. He was just like me. I knew I cared about him instantly, but I was confused by that. How quickly I felt my soul attach to his. Neither of us knew what it meant, but I could see that we both recognized the same feeling in one another.

"You can trust me." he said quietly.

I wanted to respond. So I peered over to the desk and reached for a pen. Edward assisted me, following my gaze to see what I wanted. I took his hand and open his fist to write "Thank you." on his palm.

He was grinning ear to ear.

I jumped only a little when the doors opened again. There was a beautiful blonde woman caring a small tray of food with her. Behind her was the mot enormous man I had ever seen. He had a goofy grin on his face that negated any menace in his physical stance. He looked like a big, giant teddy bear.

"She's awake!" he cried victoriously. Edward rolled his eyes. The blonde woman smacked him in the chest.

"Volume, Emmett. Volume." she scolded. She smiled apologetically as she set the tray on my bed. My eyes just about popped out of my head. On the tray was the most delicious looking bowl of hearty chicken soup accompanied by a thick, warm slab of buttered bread.

I usually ate James's left overs if he remembered to give them to me. Sometimes he would wait a few days before dropping them onto my desk.

_This_ was a fucking feast.

I heard Emmett start to chuckle. "You'd think she had never seen food before!"

I was snapped out of my trance and I smiled politely, blushing all the while. Edward shot Emmett a glare.

"What? What'd I say?" Emmett whined. Edward rolled his eyes and turned back to me.

"Bella, when was the last time you ate anything?" he asked me, concerned. He grabbed a pad of paper and the ball point pen I had just used.

What was today? How long had I been here?

I wrote my questions down on the paper and handed it to him.

"We found you yesterday, but I don't know how long you were down in the hold." he replied. "Do you remember when you got here?

_The night I met you_. I wrote.

His eyes widened in alarm. "That was three days ago now. You were down there for two days!"

_My last meal was two days before_. I wrote my reply. It didn't seem like a big meal to me. So, its been around five days since I've eaten. I'd survived much longer.

I could feel Edward look at me with shocked eyes and open mouth. I was too distracted my the meal before me to care. I ate my food slowly, reverently.

It tasted amazing. I looked at the blonde women with bright eyes and gave her a thankful nod. She grinned back at me sweetly.

Edward introduced her as Rosalie. The man called Emmett was his brother and Rose was Emmett's girlfriend.

The two of them chatted for a while but then left to take care of some chores.

Jasper returned with more visitors, Edward's parents.

I could plainly see where Edward got his good looks from. And his kind eyes. Both Esme and Carlisle Cullen greeted me graciously and welcomed me aboard. Carlisle sat down and listened carefully as Edward explained to him the events of the afternoon as discretely as he could. The two of them talked low and quiet in the corner of the room.

Edward looked desperate. Carlisle began to contemplate, eyes distant as he thought. I only caught the end of their conversation.

"It's too soon to know. We'll decide when she is well and back on her feet." he said to his son.

With a nod to Edward and turned back towards me. Esme was sitting on the side of my bed. I recognized her voice as she made small talk with me. She had been here before. When I was in the dark. My hair smelled like her. Had she cleaned me up? Changed me?

"Well, my dear." said Carlisle, bring a hand to Esme's shoulder. "It's quite late. We should let Bella rest. Edward, I'll see you in the morning. You too, Bella."

He smiled warmly as he left the room. I didn't realize how late it was. I had only woken up a few hours ago just the sun was setting. I looked at the clock on the far wall. It was almost midnight.

Edward followed my gaze and rose to his feet.

"I had better let you get some sleep." _No don't go_. He must have read my panicked expression because he reassured me. "I'll be right down the hall, I promise."

_No, please don't leave me alone_.

I tried to nod in understanding and let him go but I couldn't hide my disappointment. My breath caught in my throat as I felt his hand cup my cheek gently.

"Unless you need me to stay..."

A small smile broke on my lips. _ Yes. Yes. Stay_.

Taking my smile as affirmation, he found an empty cot on the opposite side of the office, moving Jasper's paper work to the cluttered desk and finding a pillow. I couldn't look away and he shrugged out of his thick sweater. The white t-shirt underneath lifted ever so slightly as he moved, revealing chiseled hips and a perfect trail of dark hair traveling from his navel into his jeans.

He flicked the light and hopped into bed, pulling up blankets over his legs. Taking a deep breath he looked over to me.

"Good night, Bella." He said. I smiled as he said my name.

"Good night, Edward" I felt myself whisper into the dark.

**Let me know what you think :)**


	5. Voice

**So much love for you guys :) The more I hear from you, the more pumped I am to keep writing. Thanks for keeping me inspired :)**

**EPOV**

First it was her hands. I saw them move slightly on the bed, gripping the soft cotton sheets. I had spent the night in this room, waiting. I had moved from chair, to stool, to cot, to chair about a hundred times.

But now, after seeing her tiny hands move against the sheets, I was on the edge of Jasper's stool. I watched quietly as her eyes began to shift and her head moved slightly.

My breath caught in my throat when her eyes suddenly fluttered open. I kept silent, watching to see what she would do. I had been nervous to see how she would react when she woke up. She wouldn't recognize where she was. Would she run again? _Could _she run?

With her fast asleep, I had no way to gauge the amount of pain she was in. I hoped she was comfortable. Was she warm enough? Was she hungry?

I watched, perplexed, from my side of the room as her eyes traced over her own body only briefly. She soon became mesmerized by the windows, a small smile gracing her face. _God, her smile..._ She was looking at the sky like she was seeing it for the very first time.

Her innocence made me want _hold _her. I wanted to see more of that smile. Every day.

Finally, I found my voice. "Hello." I said, as softly as I could, not wanting to scare her. I knew she heard me, her smile froze on her face and her eyes closed for a moment. It was if she was still trying to wake up for a moment. As if she thought she was still dreaming.

Ever so slowly, she turned to face me. She gasped when she saw me. I knew then that she remembered me from the alley. She sprang upwards, grimacing as she realized the extent of her injuries. She was struggling like a trapped animal, trying to scrape off her IV and oxygen mask.

"Careful!" I said, jumping to my feet. I quickly made me way to the bed and gripped both of her hands in mine, trying to stop her before she hurt herself. She froze as soon as I touched her looking up at me with big brown doe eyes.

I could see the recognition in her eyes and I felt the smallest bit of relief. If nothing else, she knew my face. Even if it could only bring her a small amount of comfort I'm glad it did.

Her eyes roamed over my face in awe. She was almost child like as she examined me. I was surprised as I felt the pad of her thumb touch my cheek. It was like she was trying to commit me to memory.

Hell...I didn't mind one bit.

I wanted to help ease her discomfort, so I reached up slowly and removed her breathing mask. I eased her back down into bed, amazed that she was suddenly so calm. This was the second time now I had seen her so visibly frightened. What did this to her? _Who_ did this to her?

"Don't be afraid." I assured her. "You're safe here."

I pulled up her covers, trying to make sure she was warm enough. The heating on this vessel was always a hit or miss. _The Guardian_ was over due for a small tune up.

I pointed to the IV she had tried to pry out of her arm, wishing I could take it out for her. I explained its use but she didn't respond. She just stared at me, watching my features carefully. I thought maybe I should introduce myself.

"I'm Edward. Edward Cullen."

Still no response. She looked tormented for a moment, as if she wanted to speak, but was desperately searching for the words. And still she stared at me with wide, innocent eyes.

"Can you...Can you understand me, Bella?"

She nodded quickly in response, but suddenly froze. What did I say? Before I could ask what was wrong, I heard the doors open behind me and watched in horror as Bella _freaked_ the hell out.

I couldn't move fast enough to stop her as she yanked out the IV and scrambled off the bed, her arms wrapped tight around her side as she winced in pain. She never once cried out. Silent tears streamed down her face and she flew past the bed and into the corner of the room.

_Jesus._ She was_ broken._ Trembling, hiding in the corner. What kind of horrors had she endured? Who did this to her?

Jasper and Alice both gasped in the door way and rushed forward to help. I stood in their path, shielding Bella.

"Just back up guys! Give her some space!"

I turned back to the girl shivering in the corner and I knew I had to be extremely careful. Anything could set her off. I settled down on the floor, trying to make myself look smaller, less intimidating instead of standing over her.

I made sure to set enough distance between us so that she didn't feel threatened. It took everything in me to stay where I was. I wanted to sweep her up in my arms and just take her away from everything that had ever hurt her. I wanted to fight off everything she was afraid of.

I wanted to see that smile again. I couldn't stand the thought that she might be afraid of me.

"Bella?"

She looked up at me with so much emotion in her face I could hardly speak. She was scared, pleading with her eyes. She fidgeted in the corner, pulling her night gown over her bare legs.

"I swear to you, Bella. No one here will lay a hand on you. I won't let anyone hurt you. You have my word." I needed her to believe me.

I couldn't explain why or how, but I knew this promise was my one truth. I meant every word. I reached for her.

"It's okay. You're safe."

Her eyes darted behind me, looking up to see Jasper and Alice, who were frozen with surprise at this episode. I realized it wasn't me, but it was them who had her frightened.

"They won't hurt you," I assured her, reading her worry. "I promised you."

"Thats Doctor Jasper Whitlock, he's been taking care of you. And that is my sister, Alice. She found you yesterday."

She blushed crimson, looking around, embarrassed. She quickly wiped her tears away and reached out to meet my open hand. My hand tingled at her touch. I slowly helped her up off the ground, not able to avert my eyes from her beautiful bare legs, shapely and long. Her night gown, oversized and loose, hung loosely around her shoulders, revealing her beautiful collarbone and long neck.

I heard her suck in a sharp breath in pain. Her legs collapsed underneath her and my body reacted before my mind could. Before I knew it she was in my arms. I could feel her warm breath on my chest.

I held on as long as she would let me. She didn't fight me or run. She_ stayed_.

It blew my mind how perfectly she just..._fit_. It was like my whole body has been missing her before we had even met.

I couldn't stop myself from placing the lightest kiss on the top of her head before helping her back to bed. She let me tuck her back into bed, her eyes locked on me the entire time. I leaned over to prop her up on pillows and our faces hovered inches too close for just moment. I could feel electricity in the air and Bella was staring at my lips.

Jasper moved to examine her and I pulled myself away to give him the room he needed. Bella stopped me, squeezing my hand. _She didn't want me to leave_.

I could barely hear Jasper speaking as I watched her. Her eyes locked on me the entire time. She nodded in response to his questions and didn't even flinch when he put the IV back in her arm.

I had to explain to Jasper that Bella wasn't responding verbally but was understanding everything. When I watched her eyes, I knew she understood. Probably more than I could see. She seemed very perceptive.

While we waited for her food, I gave her back her silver locket, explaining how I knew her name as I guessed thats what must have made her bug out earlier. I saw tears gather in her eyes as she put it on and opened the locket, showing me the pictures with an innocent smile, showing me her parents.

There was a hint of sorrow in her eyes, but she was smiling as she found her own way to communicate with me. And I couldn't get enough of that smile. I couldn't stop the words from falling from my mouth.

"Look...Bella" I started. "I don't know what happened to you...who _hurt_ you. But I feel very protective of you."

It was true. True and totally unexplainable. I didn't know her. But I knew now that I wouldn't be the same without her. I didn't know what that meant right now. But I felt in my gut.

"You can trust me."

I met her shining eyes with mine. I watched perplexed as she reached over towards Jasper's desk. I saw what she needed and grabbed the ball point pen. Before I could grab her a piece of paper she was holding my hand and the pen was tickling my palm.

_Thank you_ was written on my hand. I couldn't help but smile.

I'll never forget Bella's face when Rosalie walked through the door with a steaming bowl of soup. Her eyes widened as though Rose was presenting her with a ten course gourmet meal. I remembered my Mom mentioning Bella's malnutrition and winced when Emmett unknowingly cracked a joke that tip toed on the subject. But it made me curious so I asked her when she had eaten last.

I provided her with a small notepad and after counting days I was appalled to find that Bella hadn't eaten anything in five days. Not only that but she was down in the hold, injured and alone for two of those days. She seemed to shrug it off as she attacked her food. This bothered me even more. If five days had hardly seemed to bother her...how much longer had she been without food?

I studied her closely, feeling better and better the more she was able to eat. She was thin. _ Very_ thin. But the color was returning to her cheeks in that beautiful blush.

When Mom and Dad walked in later in the night, they both treated her well. Both of them knew Bella had yet to speak. Mom, being the compassionate person she was and not wanting Bella to feel awkward, kept up a constant conversation while I pulled Dad to the side.

"Dad," I said, surprised by the desperation in my own voice. "We can't turn her in. They can't take her away."

"Son, she's a stow away. We don't know her story." he said. "My top priority is to keep this crew safe...."

"Look at her, Dad!" I hissed. "She's hardly capable of hurting anyone!"

"Edward," Dad replied. "I know she is no threat to us, but I'd like to consider what's best for her as well. What if she's got family looking for her? Did you think about that?"

I paused, thinking of the smiling faces in Bella's locket and feeling disappointed at the truth to my father's words.

"I don't know what has you so protective of her, but I'm starting to understand this is important to you." Dad said quietly. "I'll stick to my word. I won't call the Coast Guard until we know the whole story. It's too soon to know, we'll decide when she is well and back on her feet."

I sighed in defeat and in agreement.

Mom and Dad mentioned the late hour and soon went to bed, bidding both of us good night. I watched Bella glance at the clock and saw her surprise at the hour. I should let her sleep. Let her get some rest. I rose to my feet reluctantly.

"I had better let you get some sleep." I said. Bella's eyes looked panicked. Trying to reassure her I promised her I would be just down the hall.

She nodded, and attempted a smile, but I could see he disappointment and fear settle into her expression. Gently, I reached out to cup her beautiful face in my hand. I couldn't help but smile as it warmed a beautiful shade of pink beneath my touch.

"Unless you need me to stay..."

She bit her bottom lip and smiled. Adorable. It didn't take much to convince me to stay. Stripping my thick sweater and hopping into bed I felt the weight of the day settle upon me. I was exhausted.

Checking on Bella one more time I whispered goodnight. My eyes were heavy with sleep. Just as I started to drift I could have sworn I heard her whisper, "Good night, Edward."

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

I slept soundly that night awoke fully rested at the usual early hour. My body had become used to rising at the crack of dawn after being aboard _The Guardian_ for so many years. I opened my eyes, anxious to see Bella. I expected her to be sound asleep so early in the morning.

But as I rolled over I spotted her on the very end of her bed, wrapped up in her blankets sitting cross legged with her back to me. She was staring out the window, hand gripping the sill anxiously.

It was still sort of dark outside, but I could see the shadows beginning to rise. The sun would be up any minute now.

I sat up slowly, the cot squeaking as I moved. Bella turned around to see me and my heart almost burst when I saw her smile at me. She quickly turned back to the window, unable to tear her eyes away from the sky for too long.

I found my sweater and threw it on over my head, getting up to stand beside her. I wanted to see her face when the sun came up. She seemed to be absolutely fascinated with the sky.

Someday, I decided, when she's well enough, I'll take her out for a morning flight. There's no better way to watch the sun come up.

Light spilled over the vast blue expanse of arctic waters before us. We were further out to sea now. By the end of the day we would would be hitting some rough waters as we traveled through some of the most volatile parts of the Arctic Ocean before reaching ice caps.

I took a moment to look over Bella. She was sitting up without too much pain it looked like. I'm sure she was still aching from her fall, but when I saw her face I could see she looked rested, peaceful.

I held my breath as the sun rise peaked over the horizon. It had _nothing_ on Bella. She was absolutely _glowing _in the morning light. A single tear fell from her eye as colors of day illuminated the atmosphere.

My curiosity about the girl in front of me only grew more intense as I watched her reactions. I had seen so many sun rises and sun sets on this ship, they hardly registered with me anymore.

I turned to the window and looked out, pretending this was the first sunrise I had ever seen. Longing to see it with the same innocence and wonder as Bella.

I had forgotten.

I had forgotten how breath taking it was to watch sun appear over the horizon. To just stop moving or working or worrying for a minute to catch this fleeting moment. To see the streaks of colors, oranges, purples, pinks....paint the sky.

And with Bella sitting in the sun's rays, it was even more stunning. _Who are you, Bella_?

She had only existed in my life for less than a week and she was already changing me. I wanted to know her middle name, her favorite color, her favorite song....

I wanted to know all of it. And I was dying for her to tell me. Dying to hear her voice.

When the sun had steadily risen above the water, Bella turned to me and smiled widely before turning in bed and touching her feet to the ground. I watched her carefully, unsure of what she might do. My arms ready at my sides to catch her if she fell.

On wobbly legs she lifted herself to her feet, catching my hand when she started to lose her balance. Once she had steadied herself, she kept her hand gripped tightly around mine as she made her way over to the desk where her belongings sat.

She sat down stiffly on Jasper's chair and started to look through her things. She pulled out a few pieces of clothing, and even a few books. I looked down at them, puzzled. _Bio Chemistry_? _ Emily Bronte_? This girl was an absolute mystery.

I lifted my eyes from the books to see Bella with her hands outstretched, offering me something. Her expression was a worried but determined one.

I looked down to see her place a wad of cash in my hands.

"Bella...wha -?"

She raised her hand to stop me from speaking and grabbed the notepad and pen.

_This is all I have to give to you. You saved me. Please take it_. She wrote.

"Bella...I don't want your money..." Before I could continue, she was scribbling furiously again. Her eyes were begging me to understand as she lifted the pad again.

_I'll work, I'll clean, I'll help cook. Please just don't send me away. I can't go back_.

My heart cracked in my chest.

"Bella," I said, taking her hand. "I promised you, I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I meant it."

She nodded in understanding. I placed the money back into her hands and rose to my feet. I had to speak to my father. She looked up at me confused.

"Keep it." I said softly. "I'm going to speak with my parents about keeping you aboard. They are going to want answers Bella. They have a lot of questions about you." I explained with an apologetic smile. "So do I."

"Are you ready for that?" I asked carefully. I imagined she would need her note pad and pen today so I placed it in her hands to illustrate what I meant. She would have to answer some questions as I knew all of has were anxious to find out more about her. Especially me.

Bella's features creased in concern and I heard her clear her throat. She was struggling with something, her eyes torn with an emotion I couldn't place. She placed on a hand on her chest ,clenching it into a fist.

Then she did something I never expected.

She took a deep breath and placed the note pad back in my hands. Closing her eyes I watched her lips part.

"Will you be there, Edward?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. It cracked slightly as she used it for the first time in God knows how long.

Her voice was low and sultry, yet unmistakably feminine. And she said _my name_. My jaw must have been on the floor. I snapped out of it once I noticed she was staring at me expectantly.

"Ye - yes. Yes! Absolutely." I assured her, unable to wipe the goofy grin off my face. "Every step of the way, Bella. You won't be alone. Never again."

She nodded and looked down at her hands, that gorgeous blush creeping up her cheeks.

"Okay." she said softly. Her eyes widened just a fraction at the sound of her own voice. She smiled up at me and I recognized the smallest sense of pride in her face. I realized then just how much it had probably taken her to do that. I had to to bite down on my lip to keep the multitude of questions I had for her from falling out all at once.

I called Alice into the room quickly. I needed to go and speak to Mom and Dad. I was filled with hope and excitement. It was almost bubbling out of me.

Alice agreed to help Bella to the showers and to find her some warm clothes while I went to find our parents. I was reluctant to leave Bella, but I was eager to have the family together so we could finally have some answers. I couldn't let Dad call the Guard. I just couldn't.

After making sure Bella was settled with Alice, I raced to my room for a change of clothes, and onto the deck to find my Dad. He was going to be hard to crack. He was devoted to doing the right thing. But I had to convince him that Bella couldn't go back. I had promised her.

And I intended to keep my promise.

**Next chapter may take me some time to punch out but I assure you its on its way. Lots and lots of information to include. The next chapter will provide you with some important answers, but not all....Gotta keep you on your toes. :P Keep reading and please please please review and let me know what you think!**

**Peace, **

**Hippie**


	6. Balance

**Okay, this one took me a bit longer to write out, but I'm hoping it was worth it. You'll get a little of both POVs in this one. And you'll definitely see some Whale Wars inspired events...**

**BPOV**

The heat of the shower felt absolutely incredible on my tired body. I was extremely sore, but I was able to get around pretty decently as long as I wasn't standing for long periods of time. My hip ached and my side was tender but I had slept so well I was feeling safe and sound.

As I shampooed my hair and let the hot water engulf me in steam, I replayed the sunrise this morning. _God, it was beautiful._ Absolutely beautiful. I was embarrassed that I had choked up in front of Edward but I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by it.

I knew there was a long journey ahead of me, but that sunrise was almost a divine way to start clean. Today I was moving forward.

It scared the hell out of me, but it was time to try. And if I wanted to stay here and not be taken away, I _really_ had to try.

I couldn't believe how hard it was to actually form words this morning as I finally spoke to Edward. It was physically straining as well as emotional. My chest constricted, my throat felt like it was closing. I felt my eyes fill with tears as I struggled.

But as I looked at Edward, his face so hopeful and patient, I forced myself to relax. I breathed deeply, pushing air through my mouth and nose until the flow of air was a gentle hum and then....sound. Voice. Words.

I shut the water off and grabbed the towel Alice had left for me. She was a talkative little thing. As soon as Edward had left this morning she was a talking a mile a minute. Even if I _had_ been able to attempt speaking again, I wouldn't have gotten a word in edge wise.

But it was nice to listen to someone speak to me as though I was a long time friend rather than the creepy, mute, stow away. And I was beginning to learn a lot about _The Guardian_ and just exactly what it is this family does.

I was blown away to find that the Cullens were radical activists, fighting for a good cause. I mean, plenty of people had the righteous gall to chant "Save The Whales!" but this family wasn't concerned with talk. They were taking action.

I had lived on the Alaskan Coast all my life and I knew that this journey they were taking was a dangerous one. Everything about this voyage was a risk, especially as we neared open water. I remembered when Charlie and his fishing crew would leave for weeks at a time, the stories he and Billy would tell me when they returned would give me nightmares.

Of course Billy always did like to exaggerate.

But my Dad knew plenty about the kind of weather and water the arctic would bring. Once we past through the Chukchi Sea and made it to the Arctic Ocean there was rough water ahead coupled with horrible weather conditions. After passing through that The Guardian would take on the ice caps - especially dangerous.

I saw Edward and his family in a new light. They had courage. Real courage. I respected that more than anything.

I could tell by the way the boat moved beneath me that we weren't far from rocky seas. The gentle sway of the boat had shifted and changed. After being in the bottom of a rickety houseboat for two years, I had picked up on the movements of storm and sea.

We were nearing rough waters.

I was nervous about staying aboard for this adventure, but I would take it gladly instead of being sent back into James's waiting arms. Maybe I too, could learn what it is to be brave.

I had to get my life back in order. I would stay here for now. I'd be with them long enough to disappear off the radar. The next time they docked, I'd relocate, start over. New name, new home, the works. There was no one waiting for me, and only one person looking for me. And I would make damn sure he never found me.

_Breathe, Bella. One thing at a time_.

Alice left me an assortment of clothes beside the bathroom stall door. She had borrowed some from Esme and whoever else was kind enough to share. I pulled on a comfy pair of thick thermal leggings and a pair of jeans on top of those. I guessed they were Esme's, we were about the same height. Alice gave me a pair of her thick woolen socks and Rosalie had lent me a pair of boots.

I pulled out a long sleeved band tee that had to belong to Edward. I could smell him as soon as I pulled it over my head. It was huge on me, but I found myself smiling as it wrapped around my body. Alice found me a black, thick fleece to pull on over it. I immediately felt cozy and content.

"Ah, you're dressed! Good, I'm glad some of these fit you!" Alice said as she pranced through the door. "If we go out on deck today I'll find you more warm clothes to wear, but I think you should be okay for now."

I nodded in gratitude and gave her a warm smile. She grinned in return and paused for a moment, waiting, I assumed, for me to speak. But when I was silent, she went on smiling and took my hand anyway, leading me gently into the hall. I gingerly made my way up a small flight over stairs until we entered a door into the wheelhouse.

I immediately recognized Carlisle. He stood beside the helmsman and was pouring over a chart, studiously examining it. On his other side was Edward, talking low in his ear until he spotted me. He nudged his father, who turned around to find me leaning on Alice like a weakling.

"Ah, Bella!" Carlisle said warmly. "Please, sit down." He gestured to a small desk situated in front of the helmsman. Esme sat there waiting patiently for us, two more seat pulled up beside her.

Before her was what looked like the ships radio and gyroscope. I recognized them from summers on Billy Black's fishing boat. It was extensively larger than my father's at the time and his own son Jacob and I would play with the radio. Sometimes I would use the radio from my father's boat to talk to Jake on his boat at night.

Edward was by my side in an instant, supporting me as I carefully lowered myself into a chair. The rocking of the boat had increased significantly now and I was swaying on my feet.

Carlisle took a seat beside Esme and faced me while Edward pulled up a chair to my right.

I took a deep breath. I could feel the anxiety tightening in my chest already. I swallowed painfully, feeling how tight my throat was. This wasn't going to be easy.

"Well, Bella," Esme started. "From what Edward has told us, you are quite a fascinating young woman. But I'm sure you can understand our concerns and questions as leaders of a very large crew."

I nodded, fully aware that they must be concerned about me being a possible detriment to their cause. I had to prove that they could trust me.

I was starting to get nervous now, not only because I was under interrogation, but because the ship was becoming violently more active beneath us. I watched as pencils rolled off the desk and paper work shifted.

"Now, obviously," Carlisle continued. "You have been through quite a bit. On board _The Guardian_ alone. I know you are probably aware that under nautical guidelines, it is my responsibility to turn you over to the Coast Guard."

I gulped loudly. I'm sure my panic was written on my face.

"We're only hours away from Arctic waters, which means the decision must be made now while we are still in good range of Coastal officers."

Wow. No pressure.

"My son insists that you stay aboard." Carlisle said plainly. I looked to Edward for just a moment. Was he _blushing_?

"I too, have trouble sending you anywhere until you are fully recovered from your fall while aboard my ship. Jasper Whitlock is one of the best maritime doctors you will ever meet and I trust him completely with your recovery."

Esme spoke up, her eyes soft as she carefully watched my face. I was grateful that they had decided to do most of the talking so far. I prayed all I had to do was smile and nod.

"Edward has informed us that you wish to stay aboard. That you have graciously offered to help. But I don't know if you understand the extent of such an offer. As Alice has probably told you, this is a dangerous under taking. And if you do indeed decide to stay, you will be treated as one of the recruits which includes background checks and deck hand training." She reached out and covered one of my hands with her own.

"I know you are running from something, Bella." she spoke carefully. "Otherwise we would not have found you as we did. But isn't there anyone looking for you? Anyone that the Coast Guard can reunite you with? Surely you would want that instead of a dangerous trek through the ocean during whaling season?"

I thought of Charlie and Renee. Renee had died not long after giving birth to me and since then it had always been Charlie and I. He took care of me as well as he could manage. A fisherman's work required long weeks out to deep waters. When I was small I stayed with Sue Clearwater during his long trips. Then as I grew older, I went with him. I knew my way around that old boat like the back of my hand by the time I was sixteen.

My memory flashed to James's boat, the first week after I was taken. I was stronger then and could give James a run for his money.

"_Bella, I told you! Get the fuck back down those steps." James sneered, spitting in my face. _

_He had the stairs blocked with his hulking form. His cheek was already puffy from where I had hit him, trying desperately to get to the boat's radio. I needed to get to my Dad. I needed my father. _

_I could feel the blood trickling slowly from my brow. My right eye was puffy and starting to close. The two of us looked ridiculous. We had fought each other mercilessly. But I was losing strength fast. I could claw and kick and punch as hard as I could, but James was undeniably stronger. _

_Desperate, I lunged at James one last time, sending him flat on his back onto the stairs. He roared in pain as I scrambled up the stairs, stepping on his hands as I went. He flailed wildly, trying to grasp my legs, tripping me as I crawled up the steps. _

_Frantic, I stumbled through his room and out the open door to the wheelhouse, James storming after me, close on my heels. _

_I couldn't stop shaking as I knocked over maps and supplies, crashing into the desk to find the radio. I had the channel set and the button held down. Just as I opened my mouth to speak..._

"_Dad-"_

_BAM. _

_I went flying into the desk, the hard edges of its wooden frame slamming into my body, pinned down by James himself. He had tackled me full force, shoving me into the front windows of the wheel house. I heard the glass crack slightly against my back. The wind was knocked from my lungs and my vision was blurring. _

"_Bitch." he snarled down at me. "If you ever even think about contacting your father....I swear to God I'll kill him myself, Bella. Do you hear me? I'll fucking kill him."_

_I believed him. James had killed before. He could do it again. _

_Grabbing me by my hair, he dragged me disoriented and concussed back through his room and down the steps to my prison. I began to cry silently as I heard the scratching radio pick up. _

"_Bella? Bella, baby is that you?" Charlie's voice cried through the radio. James tossed me like a rag doll onto my pathetic makeshift bed and stomped up the stairs. _

"_Dad!!!! Dad, it's me. It's Bella!" I screamed and sobbed. And I continued to scream and sob until there were no tears left and I had lost my voice. Completely._

_From that day on James kept his door locked and the radio channels carefully monitored. _

_That was the last time I ever heard my father's voice. _

Esme was looking at me expectantly. I cleared my throat, willing sound to come from me. Determined to respond. Determined not to cry. I nearly choked as the words left me.

"Th-there is n-no one." I finally answered her. The reality of those words hit me with great force. My chest hurt.

I could feel Edward's eyes on me.

The boat was really moving now, the waves beneath us in absolute turmoil. Carlisle made to speak but the helmsman interrupted.

"Captain, this is getting pretty rough." he warned. Carlisle nodded in his direction.

"Keep her steady, Marcus."

He turned back to me. We were all trying to keep our focus, but the ship was lurching beneath us now. Those standing were struggling to stay upright. We heard the sounds of retching from down the hall. Esme began to tip in her chair.

"Bella, I have to ask you..." Carlisle said, his eyes intent on me. "Why are you here?"

Suddenly_ The Guardian_ reeled beneath us, sending each of us toppling over in our chair. I hissed as I hit the ground, landing beside Edward. His hand wrapped around my waist as he helped me to my knees.

"Are you alright?" he asked, eyes frantically searching me for further injury. I nodded, putting his fears to rest.

"Its the damn gyroscope!" Marcus shouted. I clung to Edward as we rose to our feet, clutching the desk and looking out the wheelhouse windows. Waves were smashing the bow of _The Guardian_ as it lurched up and down and side to side.

Carlisle raced over to the machine. It was responsible for stabilizing the ship. It measured and maintained the orientation of the vessel, keeping us all upright and in balance. As my eyes found the device I watched in horror as it spun out of control.

Carlisle pried open its cover and looked inside.

"Where's Emmett?" he shouted. I drowned out the sound of his instructions as I wobbled my way to the machine. I knew what to do.

**EPOV**

I didn't know how to react as Bella left my arms and fought her way to the gyroscope.

_What was she doing?_

Carlisle's searched the wheel house frantically. "Edward, where is Emmett?"

"I don't know, Dad!"

I heard more retching sounds coming from down the hall way and heard a low, male's voice curse.

_Oh. That's where Emmett is. Mr. Fix-it is busy puking his brains out. _

Esme was knocked to her knees as the boat was slammed again. Dad immediately went to her side. When he got up, his eyes found Bella, whose hands had disappeared inside the open gyroscope.

"What is she doing!"

I heard crashing sounds from below us in the galley. Rosalie would not be happy. My hands gripped the desk tightly as I fought my way to Bella. Her eyes were glazed in complete and total concentration.

I looked over her shoulder as she worked, praying that she knew what she was doing. Carefully she passed the rotor and gave the gimbal a hard yank. At first, nothing happened.

She looked to see the gyro frame, testing its support with her hand before trying the gimbal one more time. I could see what she saw now. The gimbal that held the spin axis and rotor in place had been budged. The gimbals were responsible for keeping the orientation of the ship at a fixed stabilization. Without them, the rotor was spinning out of control.

The last tug Bella gave the gimbal did the trick. After waiting a moment, I could feel balance return to us. The gyroscope was keeping us steady again, even as the waves continued outside. The rocking wasn't nearly enough to do us severe damage.

I turned to see Carlisle and Esme standing behind Bella, staring at her with wide eyes in absolute shock. Bella looked up to me with a triumphant smile before facing my parents.

I was nervous at the silence now surrounding us. _Dad. Say something. Please_.

After a moment of silent shock, my dad let out a hearty laugh of relief. Esme was smiling ear to ear. Carlisle reached out to shake Bella's hand.

"The only thing I can say to that is..." he ran a hand through his hair. "Welcome aboard, Bella!"

Bella looked at me with bright brown eyes and smile I'll never ever forget.

**So....not all the answers you were hoping for. I did include another brief glimpse into Bella's past, but it wouldn't be any fun if I spilled it all now!!!!! Good things take time. :) So stay tuned, because I'm on a roll. Please review and let me know what you think. **


	7. Questions

**EPOV**

Two weeks passed at a snails pace. I couldn't understand why I was so damn anxious all the time. Ever since Bella had arrived I'd been walking on glass. Everything about her was mystery. I found myself orbiting towards her as the days passed, but keeping my distance...afraid to overwhelm her. Afraid to say or do something stupid.

I found myself watching her often, catching little details about this captivating, tortured girl. There were so many questions I had for her, I wanted to _know_ her.

And as the week went by and Bella began to ease her way into the family and crew, I felt like I was starting to. Little by little.

One thing was for sure, Bella was always a surprise.

Growing up sort of disconnected from normal society, and constantly adjusting to new crew members, I was a quiet, observant kid. I had learned to read people. Faces, voices, body language. It was easy for me.

But Bella was a different story. She never did anything I expected. I was constantly wishing I could get inside her head, even for just a minute.

Like earlier this week when Newton took Bella on a tour of the ship, shamelessly flirting with her the entire time.

_Fucker_.

_Jesus. Protective much_?

_....Shut up_.

It was a quiet day. The water had calmed significantly since the day Bella had first spoken. I hadn't heard too much more out of her since other than a rare whisper, which she would only do if absolutely necessary. She had become stronger with a few more nights of rest.

Even though she was much better and well on her feet, there was something about Bella that struck me as extremely.... _fragile_.

That morning I was helping Emmett set up a new piece of equipment. It was a radar device that would hopefully - if it worked - help us locate any or all of the six Japanese whaling ships now out on the water for the beginning of whaling season.

And here comes Newton. Long time crew member and royal kiss - ass, he took the liberty of talking Bella's ear off as he ushered her around deck. I kept my head down but my ears alert, only taking glances when I felt it was safe to do so.

I could tell by the smile on Bella's face that she was being polite, but her wandering eyes gave away her boredom. Mike was clueless, yapping away about how long he had been aboard and how much he knew about boats.

"You know, there are several different kinds of useful knots you can use on board here."

I snorted as I heard Emmett scoff under his breath.

"_Fucking boy scout._"

I watched Bella closely. Did she just roll her eyes? _Ha._ Take that Newton.

Mike had approached the large life rafts we kept on top deck and proceeded to release its ties. He knelt down, motioning for Bella to watch him closely. Bella stood behind him with her hip cocked to the side, her stance giving away her annoyance but he face giving him nothing but courtesy and patience. She was being so kind to him.

Her benevolence made me want to be a better man.

She was wearing one of my extra coats. It was thickly padded and its outer layer was tough and water proof. It was entirely too big on her small frame but the way it hugged her and enveloped her, it made me feel at ease knowing she was warm enough. In a way it felt as if I were embracing her without touch.

Mike was instructing her slowly on how to tie the knot, talking to her like a two year old.

_Condescending asshole_.

While he continued to talk I watched with a grin and Bella left her spot behind him and made her way to the other side of the life boats.

"Emmett - Emmett, look." I said, tapping his shoulder to get his attention.

We both stopped and watched with goofy smiles as Bella succeeded in tying all the knots on the loose ties in the same time it had taken Mike to tie _one_. I was impressed. Bella could have done it with her_ eyes closed_. Emmett laughed out loud, catching both Bella and Mike's attention.

He applauded loudly, earning a triumphant grin from Bella and humiliated scowl out of Mike. Bella's eyes turn to me for a moment and beautiful blush crept up her ivory cheeks.

I wished I could read her mind.

I noticed small things like that as the weeks progressed. The way she bit her lip when she was uncomfortable. The way her face lit up whenever it was meal time. The way her hair was always a perfect mess of long brown curls.

The way she was never far from me.

Bella took to chores like it was the most natural thing in the world. She clearly had experience on boats and she shined, completing tasks before some of our oldest crew members.

New recruits bitched and moaned every morning when waking up to do early morning work. Bella was usually the first one up.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner I usually liked to eat alone. Usually it was because I wasn't too keen on getting chummy with the new crew, and sometimes it was because sitting with my siblings and their significant others made me feel...alone.

But lately, I'd make sure to leave the seat beside me open because Bella sought me out every time. She never really spoke, but we were always finding a way to communicate. One morning, Rose made a giant breakfast complete with eggs and bacon and home fries.

Right on cue, Bella's eyes lit up at the sight of the steaming meal. I couldn't help but laugh at her excitement, catching her by surprise as I sat down across from her.

"Morning, Bella." I chuckled. She blushed and gave me a playful pout as I laughed at her. But she couldn't hide her smile. She picked up the ketchup bottle and took my plate, squirting sloppily beside my home fries. She pushed it back at me and dug into her meal.

I turned my plate to see the word "Hi." and a smiley face squirted out in bright red ketchup.

Little things like that helped us communicate. If she needed to ask a question, or figure something out she would come my way first, whispering to me or passing me a note like I was her own private translator. Sometimes if we were with a lot of people and no paper was in sight, she'd take my hand and spell out letters on my palm.

I fucking _loved_ that. She trusted me. I don't know why or how, but I was so _thankful_.

More often then not when she was finished with AM duties she retreated back to her room. She was staying in Alice's cabin. She was usually curled up in one of her books, wrapped in a blanket.

She had left her science books in her bag and had been reading through _Wuthering Heights_ non stop.

I figured she was probably bored with it by now so this morning after chores I went through my old collection of various novels I had accumulated over the years and picked out a few I thought she might like.

I couldn't shut off my brain as I walked to her cabin door.

_I'm so stupid. _

_Why the hell am I nervous? _

_She'll probably hate these damn books. Why am I even doing this?_

_Shut __**up**_.

Carefully I knocked on her door. It opened slowly to reveal Bella, her hair down in loose waves, her cheeks and nose still slightly pink from morning work. She had a thick green afghan wrapped around her frame.

And she was _beaming_ at me. _God_, she was gorgeous.

"Uh...hi." I finally spoke.

_Smooth, Cullen_.

Bella's eyes traveled to the books in my hand and I suddenly remember why I had knocked on her door in the first place.

"Oh...right! Uh...I just thought that maybe you'd want a few more books to choose from.....not that you have to read these, I just thought that I'd...."

There was a small sound that stopped me mid sentence. It was Bella.

She was laughing, watching me fumble with my words at her door. It was a quiet laugh, but it was there. So _that_ was what her laugh sounded like. It was the first time I had ever heard it.

Somewhere in my head I made it my new goal to make her laugh like that as often as possible.

And that _smile_.

I couldn't help but just shut my stupid mouth and grin back at her. She reached out hesitantly and took the books from my out stretched hands.

"Thank you, Edward." she said, soft but clearly. I was surprised she hadn't whispered. I looked up to see her blushing again. With a little nod and a small smile, she returned to her room, leaving me standing there, clearly elated but feeling like a school boy at the exact same time.

I finally snapped out of it and turned on my heel, making my way to the galley for a cup of coffee. I spotted Alice sitting at a table by the window with a magazine.

Everyone was sort of biding their time lately. The radar equipment was working properly, but hadn't alerted us to any near by ships. I was sort of on call, so to speak. As soon as we got a blip on that screen, it would be my job to take the helicopter and scope it out. A new crew member was constantly on watch every couple of hours.

"Hey, Al." I said as I sat down across from her, warming my hands around my mug of coffee. She followed my gaze out the window. The sky looked dark.

"We're in for some bad weather." she said, studying the horizon. "It's going to be a rough night. I hope Bella will be okay..."

She said that last bit almost to herself. I could see that Alice had grown to really care about Bella over the past week. Everyone was concerned about the new stranger, but my family especially seemed to immediately want to protect and care for her.

"Has she spoken to you, Alice?" I asked. I figured if they were rooming together, she would have had to hear from Bella by now.

"Not _to _me." she said strangely.

"What do you mean, not _to_ you? Who else was she talking to?" I hated to admit the feeling that suddenly came over me but I couldn't deny what it was once I recognized it.

It was jealousy.

I wanted to kick myself. _Get a fucking grip, Cullen. She can talk to whoever she wants. It's perfectly fine if it's not you. _

But I _wanted_ it to be me.

"Bella talks in her sleep, Edward." Alice explained.

"She does?"

"Yeah," she answered, stealing a sip of my coffee. Damn pixie. "At first I didn't notice it because it was so quiet. But especially the past few nights I can hear her."

Bella talks in her sleep? What I wouldn't give to just sit and listen.

"What does she say?" I asked.

"Well at first I couldn't really understand. But once I noticed it, I started to listen harder to see if I could make out words. Even in her sleep she's quiet. But she's....sad. She cries sometimes. I've heard her say 'Dad, I'm here.' a few times. I've also heard the name James."

James? _Of course._ I felt disappointment settle upon me against my will. James was probably Bella's boyfriend.

_What does it matter to you?_

_I don't know. It just....does_.

"And last night..." Alice continued. "She said your name."

I almost choked on my coffee.

"She _what_?"

"She was really starting to toss and turn," Alice said, studying me suspiciously. "she started to cry a little, but I heard her say your name and soon after she was out cold. She slept like a baby the rest of the night."

I gulped loudly as I swallowed more coffee. I couldn't help but feel elated at the simple fact that Bella had been _dreaming_ about me.

"Oh Edward," Alice snorted. "You have _so_ got it bad for Bella."

"What?"

"You are utterly transparent. Have you seen yourself lately?" she laughed. "Suddenly you give a shit about what you wear in the morning, you don't sit alone anymore because you're attached to her hip, you can't take your eyes off of her and you _laugh_."

"So? What's that supposed to mean? I _laugh_!" I retorted poorly. _Jesus. She was right. What the fuck_. "I don't '_have it bad_' for her, Al. I'm just....making sure she's... okay."

"Yeah," she laughed. "And I'm the fucking Queen of England."

I glared at her. She knew me too well. So I had a _crush_. I felt my cheeks grow warm. I was _so_ caught.

_Shit_.

Alice's eyes softened at the sight of my embarrassment. She was the best big sister there was. Tiny as she was, she always took my side. I felt her place a hand on mine.

"Don't worry, Edward. Your secret is safe with me." she promised. She rose from her chair to go and take her turn taking watch in the radio room where the radar screen was. On her way out, she turned to me and said,

"You know, I think it's great. Really. I think you two might just be what each other needs."

Winking, she left me dizzy with thoughts.

_What's happening to me_?

One thing was for sure. I didn't know what it was yet...but I knew I felt something for Bella. I really didn't truly know her yet, but something in me had attached itself to her and all of her mystery.

I didn't know_ her_, but I _knew_ I couldn't possibly let anything hurt her. That was my natural, physical and mental response to her presence. Could I explain or define that as...love...? No. I didn't really know what that felt like yet.

I ran my hands through my hair and took a deep breath. I had to start getting my head together. Focus.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of maps and charts. I sat down with my family in the wheel house as we examined the major bodies of ice we would soon have to navigate along with possible locations of the Japanese fleet based on whale migration patterns.

It was a tiring conversation. Both of my parents were frustrated at the two weeks that had passed without any sign of the fleet.

The other problem on the table was the idea of confrontation. There would no doubt be weapons on both sides. We had guns - not many - but we did have them for self preservation only. Carlisle and Esme both hated having them even on the ship, but after concern was voiced from old crew members who had been with Carlisle his first confrontation, they gave in. The weapons hadn't been used in a long time, and Carlisle wanted to keep it that way.

I could sense his anxiety. He did _not_ want to have to bear arms this season.

Night came quickly and so did bad weather, just as Alice had predicted. Heavy rain pelted the windows of my cabin. I slept restlessly and without dreams for only a few hours, only to be woken by loud, cracking thunder.

After that, sleep eluded me. Finally giving up, I rose from bed and made my way to the wheel house, hoping to take a turn in the radio room. I needed something to do if I was going to be awake this late and I'm sure whoever was on watch now would be only too happy to be relieved of their duties.

A sliver of light underneath the door of the room guided me through the dark wheelhouse. Just as I was about to open the door I stopped short as I heard the scratching radio come to life.

I heard the sound of a man's voice. It was a familiar voice. I never knew who it was but often times we would pick up radio transmissions from deep sea fishing boats. I listened to the transmissions, trying to pick up the conversation, all the while wondering why anyone up this late would have switched the channels to this commercial fishing banter.

It was nothing urgent or special, simply a few fishing boats communicating with their usual jargon.

"This is The Swan 197, coming to port. Billy, you meet quota today?" came a deep voice. I heard the radio go static before there was a reply.

"Nah man, came close though. Too much dead weight this time around. Next month will be better...."

The door creaked loudly as I finally opened it. I was shocked to find Bella there, jumping to her feet as I entered and scrambling to turn off the radio, wiping her eyes frantically.

She sat down in her chair quickly and gave me a weak smile accompanied by that perfect pink blush.

"Bella...? What are you doing up this late?" I asked, concerned she wasn't getting enough sleep....and also extremely curious about her reaction.

Bella tapped the radar screen and shrugged. She was on watch. She was hiding her face just slightly behind the dark curtain of her hair, but I could see something was wrong.

"Were you...were you crying?" I asked softly. I could see as she looked up at me that she had been, but she denied it by shaking her head no. I looked down in her lap to see one of the books I had lent her. It was an Oscar Wilde play, _The Importance of Being Earnest_.

She caught my gaze and smiled, marking her place and turning to me. "It's good." she said as quietly as humanly possible.

"I'm glad you like it." I responded. I wanted to know what had upset her, but I was afraid to push it.

"Well, I'm here to relieve you of your watch if you'd like to get some sleep. I can't sleep much myself so I thought I'd come and take a turn for whoever was here." I said, my hand in my hair again - a nervous habit.

"Can't sleep either." Bella replied simply, shrugging her shoulders. She was wearing a pair of plaid flannel pajama pants and a thick black zip up sweater that she almost disappeared in. The sleeves were far too long and she was swimming in it.

Absolutely adorable.

"Would it be alright if I kept you company?" I asked, unwilling to go back to bed when I had this rare time alone with Bella.

"Of course." she said softly. I sighed contentedly at the sound of her voice. It was like my own personal brand of heroine. I opened my eyes to see her questioning my reaction with her eyes.

"I just really like the sound of your voice, Bella." I answered her silent question in a quiet, breathy response. She smiled at me for a moment, before her expression became distant and pensive. I couldn't stop myself from asking, I _had_ to know what she was thinking.

"What's wrong, Bella?" I asked carefully. "You know you can tell me. You're safe here. It's just me."

She studied me carefully for a moment, as if choosing her next move. She opened her mouth several times as if to speak, but closed it each time, her expression that of defeat.

After what seemed like a long moment of silence, I gave up and busied myself with the radar, checking it over pointlessly, trying to hide my disappointment. My heart leapt to my throat when I heard her voice break the silence.

"I...I don't know where to begin, Edward." she said, her voice growing stronger and more confident as the words left her lips. I tried to keep my face from showing the shock and awe that hit me as she spoke. It was the most I had ever heard her say and from the look on her face...she wasn't done.

"I know you must have a million questions for me, as you should." she said slowly, taking a deep breath. "And I'll try to answer them as best as I can."

I was grinning ear to ear now. She smiled weakly at me and my enthusiasm, but her eyes were full of worry.

"But you need to know...." she continued. "The answers to some of your questions won't be what you want to hear...."

I felt my grin retreat from my face as I saw fear - the same fear I had seen in her eyes the first day I saw her - return to her features.

"...and they sure as hell won't keep you safe."

**Hey guys, sorry it took me a little longer to punch this one out. Next chapter will have the answers you have been waiting for. Well most of them. I know I will probably get a divided response on this one. Some of you will be glad that Bella is talking and also revealing some very important things...and some of you will probably wonder why I'm letting it happen this early. I originally was going to make you wait a bit longer, but then I had a few good plot ideas that can't really take place without some of this background info. Because of that I kept this chapter focused on Bella and Edward's growing trust. So in order to keep this story moving, next chapter will be the big one (in BPOV). I'll update as soon as I can. **

**Thanks for sticking around, guys. :) Please let me know what you think! ~Hippie.**


	8. Answers

**Hey everyone! I'm **_**so**_** sorry I've made you wait, thanks for being patient with me. I made this chapter extra long to try and make up for it. This chapter was hard to write as there was so much to include, but now that its finished, the updates should be much closer together. Please let me know what you think!**

**BPOV**

"_...and they sure as hell won't keep you safe._"

_Easy, Bella... deep breaths_.

I was staring into Edward's eyes with determination in spite of the fear that was threatening to choke out my voice. It was clear now. I had to speak.

It wasn't that I was stuck in a corner and it was my only option, it was the simple sound of Edward's voice as he pleaded with me to trust him.

For two weeks now, I had been at constant war with myself. Everything about Edward invited my trust. Even though he didn't know my story or my past, I felt as though he knew me. In some strange, invisible way I was drawn to him.

I started to notice that little things about him had this strange effect on me. Butterflies in my stomach, untamable grinning and that eighth grade blush that I never grew out of. Not only was Edward a stunning human being, but anyone could see he had a good heart.

I watched him often when I was certain he wouldn't see my blatant stares. He truly was a breath taking man. His physical features were absolutely incredible, but the best thing about him was how _humble_ he was.

I noticed the way he was with his siblings and his family. Gentle. Loving. Never boastful or rude - unlike Mike Newton. He was quiet and a little shy, but never emotionally absent from what was going on around him. He was focused and hard working.

And when he looked at me...I knew he _cared_. His eyes held so much curiosity and concern and kindness when he locked them with mine. It blew me away.

I had listened to many shallow promises before in my life, but I knew in my gut that Edward spoke his intentions truthfully. I knew he would never willingly let anyone hurt me.

I could see it in the way he looked at me, or the little ways he took care of me. We were never far from each other. I often wondered if he felt it too...that pull. This inexplicable magnetism between us.

Thats why I battled so furiously with myself in silence. I wanted so badly to open up to Edward, but if he knew who was possibly tracking me...keeping his promise to me would put him in harms way. Day after day I stopped myself from letting him get close enough to know my ugly truths.

I threw myself into chores on deck, anything to keep my mind occupied. Growing up onboard _The Swan 197_, I knew my way around. I attacked each task accurately, hoping to prove to Carlisle that I was a worthy member of the crew and keep him from further questions about my past. Luckily with the excitement over the new radar system, he was easily distracted.

I wanted to keep Edward safe, and yet at the same time, I wanted him to _know_ me. I didn't want him to give up on me in response to unyielding silence.

I had been having nightmares. I couldn't always remember them when I awoke, but I would open my eyes with the heavy feelings of fear and sorrow still trapped in my chest.

Sometimes James was in them, chasing me or chasing Edward. Other nights I would see my father and cry out to him, only to find he couldn't hear me over the roaring engine of his boat.

So tonight I had gladly taken a shift in the radio room, eager to take a reprieve from my nightmares. I took with me a bit of Edward's reading suggestions, ironically grabbing _The Importance of Being Earnest_.

I couldn't help but giggle at him when he had arrived at my door earlier that day, nervous and stuttering on his words. Those green eyes, that perfectly tousled hair...He was a perfect, beautiful mess standing in my door way. I wondered why he was so flustered. I even dared to think that he might ...._like_ me.

That he might feel even a fraction of what I was starting to feel on a daily basis around him.

I talked myself out of _that_ one pretty damn fast. I couldn't see what there was to like about _me_, but even if he did, after he knew the truth about me I'm sure he would change his mind.

I sat and read for at least thirty minutes, trying to concentrate. But my mind was consumed with thoughts of Edward, James, my father and this nagging feeling I couldn't quite place that was rattling in the back corner of my mind.

I felt like I was missing an important piece here, but I couldn't identify what it was.

The radio was a static blur and the radar screen was still vacant of anything significant. The noise from the radio stole my attention for a moment. I wondered.....

Checking the door quickly, I sat up in my seat and switched the dials, knowing Dad's channel by heart. I wouldn't speak to him, I'd just listen. I had to know he was okay.

I knew James wouldn't touch him unless I tried to contact him. Charlie was of no concern to James unless I was in direct correspondence with him. It broke my heart. It seemed lately the only way to protect the people I cared for was to stay away from them.

I couldn't help but weep with joy as I heard my father's voice over the sound waves. Even the voice of Billy Black was a great comfort to me._ He was safe. He was alright_. I realized as I listened to their usual banter that life hadn't changed much for him and I was glad for that. He was strong and steady and he took care of himself without me.

_Thank you, God._

I almost had a heart attack when I heard the door creak open and saw Edward's form enter the room. Jumping to my feet I attacked the radio controls, switching them back to their original settings and wiping the tears from my eyes.

And now here we were. Me, struggling to find a place to begin and Edward gaping at me as I finally found the courage to open my mouth. He still hadn't spoken.

"Edward...I don't know how to....where to..." I sighed, at a loss of how to do this. I was wringing my hands anxiously. This conversation would change everything. "There is so much I need to tell you and I-"

"I want to know your name." Edward interrupted me softly as a blush crept up his cheeks, gazing at me with the most heart breaking, adoring look. "Your whole name."

His innocent request startled me for a moment, but softened my rising anxiety.

"Isabella." I replied quietly. "Isabella Marie Swan."

The crooked grin before me made me melt. "Isabella." He repeated reverently, barely breathing out the word. My name on his lips sent shivers up my spine. He took a deep breath and scanned my face with gentle eyes.

He gestured curiously to the radio, raising an eye brow in a silent question.

_Ah._ So he _had_ seen my minor spaz attack when he opened the door. Did he hear the radio? He must have.

_Quit holding back, Bella. Just tell him. Everything_.

"Um..." I gulped, looking at my hands and playing with my sleeve. "I'm sorry I switched the radio, I just...I had to know...if - if my..."

_Quit fucking stuttering_. I took a deep breath, letting it out in a huff. This was frustrating.

I almost jumped out of my skin when I felt Edward's hand on mine. All at once that feeling returned...that electric buzz in the air. I felt like I was glowing. His gaze was reassuring me I was safe. Only Edward could do that.

"Take your time, Bella. I'm not going anywhere."

I nodded appreciatively and took another deep breath. _ Here we go_.

"I know it must have seemed strange to you that I was in here listening to some random fishermen radio exchange. But that voice you heard..._The Swan197_... that's ... uh... that's my father."

Edward's beautiful green eyes widened in disbelief.

"The man he was speaking to is his good friend Billy Black. I've known him all my life as well."

Edward sat up in his chair suddenly and reached for the radio controls.

"Bella! This is perfect! We should let him know you're here, that you're okay!" he said as he turned dials and knobs.

He was brought to a sudden stop when I wrapped my hands around his as fast as I could.

"I can't let you do that, Edward."

The urgency in my voice startled him as he looked at me in utter confusion. I watched his eyes scan my face for an answer and then look down to our hands, still within each other's grasp.

"W-why?"

"Because if Charlie knows I'm alive...if he looks for me.... He'll be murdered." I said, feeling the weight of my words sink in my chest as I watched Edward's expression turn from shocked and confused, to _horrified_ and confused.

"What? By who!" he almost shouted. He searched my face frantically for answers.

"By the man who has been holding me prisoner for the past two years. The man I finally escaped just a few short weeks ago."

Edward's face was ghost white as he stared at me, his expression slapped with utter shock, his body rigid. Still holding his hands, I guided him back to his chair. His expression was pained, his eyes still open wide and unblinking in shock. His silence was scaring me.

"Ed-Edward?"

His green gaze traveled over my face in torment. Sorrow and rage flitted across his face as he spoke softly in a shaking, angry voice.

"W-who did this to you, Bella?" Before I could answer him, the flood gates opened and all of his questions came tumbling out. "What happened? How did you escape? Did he hurt you? Oh God, he hurt you didn't he?....son of bitch, I'll - "

"Edward," I stopped him. His ever apparent need to protect me was always surprising, but I didn't realize just how much he truly cared until now. It made me feel like I was.... _Wanted_. _Loved_.

"I guess I had better start at the beginning..." I said, taking a deep breath and pulling my knees up to my chest. I wrapped my arms around my legs and tucked myself securely into my chair. I was going to literally have to hold myself together for this. He would be the first to hear this story.

This was the first time I ever had to tell it.

And the way Edward was looking at me right now, completely and utterly devoted to my every word...I was at risk of coming completely undone.

_Just do it, Bella_. _ And don't forget to breathe_.

"I grew up in a small town in Pradhoe Bay, Alaska." I started with a shaky voice, unable to make contact with Edward's piercing gaze. I couldn't look him in the eye if I was going to get through this without crying.

"My mom and dad bought a small house by the harbor so Dad was close enough to his boat and mom was only a short distance from the docks. She was pregnant with me when they got married and of course Dad didn't want to be far from her. He loved her so much and worried constantly."

Edward was still rigid in his chair, listening intently.

"Well, um... long story short, she didn't survive when she gave birth to me." I said, swallowing hard, looking everywhere but Edward. I didn't necessarily want to get into details about how my mother basically bled to death.

_No tears, no tears_.

I was doing well so far, even though I could feel the back of my throat tighten painfully with the need to cry. I never knew my mother, but I knew how much my father loved her. Thats what broke my heart. His beautiful, happy marriage lasted a grand total of nine months before I came along and ruined everything.

Clearing my throat, I continued on.

"So it was just me and Charlie after that. For a while, I would stay with a friend of the family while he was out on his boat. But as I grew older and I found out about what happened to my mother, I started to understand how lonely he was. And how it was all my fault."

"Bella..." Edward whispered in protest. I put up a hand to stop him. If I didn't just spit this all out, I wasn't going to make it through it.

"So I started going out on long haul trips with Dad. He taught me everything he knew and he was...happy. We took care of each other, you know?"

I chanced a look at Edward who nodded in understanding.

"In between trips I was home schooled by Sue Clearwater, a friend of the family who had known me since I was a baby. She was sort of like the mother I never got to know. Life became simple. I studied, I worked on the boat, I took care of Charlie. I didn't really have many friends."

"Pretty soon I was finished with high school level work and was ready for college. It was a touchy subject because I didn't know how I could leave Charlie. But he encouraged me to apply to a few places, even ones out of state. And when I got a letter from APU giving me full ride...you should have seen his face. He was so...._proud._"

I ran a hand through my hair, swallowing hard against that thickness in my throat, remembering Charlie perfectly as he was that day. His face vivid in my mind.

"It was probably the hardest thing I had ever had to do when I left. But I did it to make him proud. He didn't get to go to college and so this was a huge deal to him. The day I left he gave me a glass jar full of money he'd kept under his bed. He'd been trying to save for me so he could send me to college..."

I laughed softly, remembering that jar, filled with pocket change and dollar bills from pockets emptied over the years. It had added up to quite a bit. It was the sweetest memory, his face that day.

"But since I had the scholarship he gave me the money for books and supplies and whatever I needed. I left for Anchorage and moved in by myself."

"It was really strange at first, adjusting to school. I hadn't really experienced anything like it and I was _painfully_ shy at first. I was constantly doing homework or studying. Usually you could find me in the chem lab. I was good at it, Edward. I was _really_ good at it. Which was thrilling because all I had really done was fish with my father my entire life." I laughed.

"I started hanging out with more people and things were falling into place. I even met a boy there. James ran with a different crowd. He was kind of the resident bad ass and I had a ridiculous crush on him."

I started talking a little faster, puzzled by how uncomfortable I was about talking about other men while I was with Edward.

"But I was just Bella, the chemistry geek and there was no way he would ever take a second look at me. "

"One night I was with my friend, Jessica, at a party. I had had too much to drink and of course opened my stupid mouth and told Jessica that I liked James. And she, of course, was _all over_ that. She told me I had to do something to get his attention, something he would admire or respect. Something that would make him want to get to know me."

"I thought about it for a while and figured that I needed to do something completely outside of my comfort zone. I needed to stop being the quiet book worm and start taking some risks."

"Halloween rolled around and James and his friends were planning on egging houses and stealing candy. I decided to one up them. To really earn some attention and respect."

"So I made butyric acid bottle bombs. Basically, its stink bomb. One of the worst possible kinds. It takes _forever_ to get rid of the smell. Needless to say, he was impressed. Not long after we started seeing each other."

I noticed Edward's hands grip the arms of his chair tighter.

"I was young. I was naive. And the people James called friends...they manipulated me and so did he. Back then I would have told you James loved me, but now looking back, I know he was just using me."

"He would follow me around the lab after hours and watch me work. He started asking me for small things. Stupid tools to play pranks with. I found out later he was selling these tools to his friends....older friends who didn't attend school with us. Older friends who were known fondly on the coast as arctic pirates. A bunch of thieves who destroyed people's livelihoods and raided boats. They used the tools I made to damage local vessels and torment the owners before stealing from them."

"He made a killing off of the butyric bottles and some of my methocyl bombs. And he was slowly being pulled deeper and deeper into a network of really scary people. I was horrified when I found out that my work had become his stock and trade."

"I was ashamed. I thought of Charlie and what he would think of me. It was too much guilt to bear. So I tried to break it off with James. He begged and pleaded with me to stay with him, he swore he loved me. He said the shit I made didn't matter to him and that he would stop."

"And he did. At least for a while. He was_ good_ to me then. He treated me well....for a little while. I was so in love with him. I was so_ stupidly_ in love with him. I was so blind to everything else. I even....._.moved in_ with him during the summer and stayed with him on his house boat during my sophomore year."

"It wasn't until then I started to really pay attention. I had been sheltered for a long time, certainly. But I wasn't completely idiotic. I _noticed_ when he had strange company late at night after he thought I was asleep. I _noticed _when his temper would flare drastically over simple, petty things. I _noticed _when money started disappearing out of Charlie's jar. I _noticed_ when he hid tiny bags of white powder in the slit on his side of the mattress. And I sure as hell noticed when he hadn't had a fix. He was...um...he was violent and cruel."

I heard Edward release a shaky breath as he practically growled from his seat in front of me.

"I knew I had to leave him. I needed home. I needed my dad. So I ran. I was staying at a local motel at the time when he found me. He _always _found me. You see, James is a professional tracker. One of the best. Not only in the sense of a literal hunt, but technologically as well. He traced my cell, my credit card... he found me."

My voice was beginning to shake with fear now.

"The night he took me, I had just gotten off the phone with my dad. I was supposed to be getting on the train and heading home the next morning and I told him to expect me at around three in the afternoon. I was just falling asleep when suddenly he was just..._there_. In my room, _watching_ me. I thought I was _dreaming_. He came out of the shadows so fast...h-he put his hands on my mouth to keep me from screaming...and he...he b-beat me until I was unconscious."

My voice broke and I felt my will give way as tears began to fall.

_Keep going_.

"I woke up on his boat, tied to a steel pipe in the hold. He was keeping me _prisoner_. He had supplied me only with the specific tools I needed in order to make butyric bottles and methocel bombs and laid out before me.... were _orders_. I was to be his...his_ slave_. To supply him with pirating 'merchandise' with which he would make a_ fortune_."

The tears fell freely now. Suddenly I felt Edward's warm fingertips on my cheek, wiping them away gently. His touch gave me the strength to continue even as I was feeling heart break all over again.

"I just kept thinking of Charlie, waiting for me at the train station. I had disappeared. Leaving him _truly_ alone. Thoughts of him kept me strong at first. I fought James. Hard. We had full physical fights, none of which I could ever win. He threatened me constantly, saying if I ever tried to contact Charlie, or if I didn't complete an order, he would have Charlie killed."

"I didn't believe him at first, but he spouted out Charlie's information as easily as the alphabet. He knew my address, he knew my dad's boat name and channel and fishing route, he even knew my dad's social security number. I don't know _how_ he did it. But I knew he was capable of doing exactly as he promised if I didn't comply."

"So...I stopped fighting. Mostly because I was out of options, but partly because I was too weak to fight anymore. James kept me fed, but only enough to survive on. He wanted me weak and unable to escape. And thats exactly how I became. I stopped speaking after the first month and it had been that way until now."

I was shaking now, wiping tears away even though I couldn't catch them all. Suddenly, I felt warmth all around me. Edward had closed the space between us, kneeling on the floor in front of my chair and wrapping his arms tightly around me as I let myself cry.

The feeling of human contact was utterly overwhelming. And Edward...._God,_ he felt so right. He held me tightly, but gently, as if he were afraid to let me go. As if he were afraid I would fall to pieces.

After getting over the initial shock of what it was to feel Edward's arms around me, I finally let go. The sobs leaving me without hesitance now. My arms reached around him, pressing myself impossibly closer to him. I clung to him like a child, reveling in touch and smell and warmth.

I felt one of his hands on my back and one in my hair, gently cradling the back of my head. I felt his sweater grow wet with my tears.

""T-two _fucking_ years of my life, Edward. He _t-took_ them from me."

Edward pulled away just slightly to look at me. My breath caught in my throat at the intensity of his eyes and closeness of his body.

"You're here now, Isabella. I've got you. You're safe."

I hugged him again, losing myself in his scent and trying to calm my breathing. When the sobs had subsided, Edward looked me over again.

"How did you escape him, Bella?"

I started to explain that night. The order...the voices coming from James's room...

And thats when it hit me. That missing piece I had felt nagging me in the back of my brain....it came flying out of my memory and the reality of it felt like a punch to the chest.

"_I'm Edward. Edward Cullen"_

Cullen. Cullen? **Cullens**.

"_Aro, please..." James begged._

"_The Cullens are leaving in two days time. I expect you to do as you were told. I came to you because you were rumored to be the best tracker on this side of the nautical world. Not to waste my efforts on lazy, talentless pirate. It amazes me that you were clueless to their arrival this morning. You will not make such mistakes again."_

My words froze in my mouth as I gasped at the memory. Edward panicked before me.

"Bella?" he said, both of his hands cupping me face, searching my eyes.

"Edward...I'm _not_ safe. And neither are you or your family. The man...the man on the boat he was sending James after you. I can't believe I didn't put it together until now! _You're_ the Cullens!"

"What? Bella I don't-"

"He said you were leaving in a few days, he wanted James to follow you!"

I felt the hot tears return. We were _all _in danger. If James hurt any one...If he hurt _Edward._...

Suddenly, I was pulled to the present by a small sound. Edward's head snapped up and his eyes locked with mine. We both turned slowly, our eyes falling on the long forgotten radar screen. A small _blip_ noise escaped the device.

We both raced to the table, peering over the screen. Sure enough, there was a small illuminated spot, representing some kind of vessel that looked to be only kilometers away.

"_Shit._" Edward cursed, grabbing my hand. He pulled me gently behind him as we walked hurriedly out of the room, down the hall and up the stairs to the Captain's stateroom.

He knocked on the door, shifting his weight nervously. We heard muffled movements from inside.

"One moment" came Carlisle's sleepy voice. Edward turned to me and looked me over, carefully pulling my giant sweater tighter around me, zipping it closed and taking my hand again.

It was a simple gesture, but it made my heart fly. I hadn't been cared for like this in a very, _very _long time.

Carlisle appeared at the door, rubbing his eyes and yawning. When he saw Edward and I, his eyes raked us over, sensing our panic and then matching it.

"What is it, son?"

"We've got something, Dad." Edward answered him.

"Well that's good news!" Carlisle smiled. His grin fell from his face when he saw that Edward's worried expression held no joy. "What's going on...."

I watched as Edward opened and closed his mouth a few times, completely at a loss of words. I decided to help him. This was an _emergency_. That vessel could be exactly what the Cullen's wanted it to be - a Japanese whaling ship. Or it could be a whole other danger. One none of them were prepared for. One even I didn't know the extent of. I finally found my voice as I turned to Carlisle.

"Have you heard of a man named Aro?" I asked. I wasn't prepared for the reaction I received.

Edward froze beside me. And Carlisle? Carlisle was as white as the snow falling outside.

**Phew. Okay. I'm starting the next chapter as we speak and promise to post it as soon as it is finished. Big plans for the next bit. :) I hope you all forgive me for taking so long. Please let review!**


	9. Yushin Maru

**EPOV**

I was finally _holding_ her. It was like my arms had missed her before I even _met_ her. I could feel her tears dampen the fabric of my sweater. I could feel the vibration of her sobs under my hand splayed across her back. I could feel the warmth of her breath as she spoke into my chest.

"T-two _fucking_ years, Edward. He _t-took_ them from me."

My chest hurt with those words. I pulled away to look into her eyes, big brown pools filled with more emotions and painful memories than I could ever know. She was fragile in my arms, but in her eyes, beyond the tears, was a strength I had never encountered.

"You're here now, Isabella. I've got you. You're safe." I said with conviction. I'd never let anyone _touch_ her.

_Two years_.

Two years of physical and mental abuse, slaving away over dangerous chemicals, ripped away from everyone she had ever loved. And now here she was, listening to her father's radio transmissions but never able to speak to him.

It just wasn't _fair._

No wonder it had been so difficult for her to speak to us. Two years of _silence_.

I was almost shaking with rage as she told me of James. _That son of a bitch._ I wanted to fucking kill him. How could anyone ever treat Bella like less than she is? Beautiful. Kind. Brave.... Amazing.

I had listened to her speak like her voice was a drug. She was my own personal brand of heroine.

I listened to the words, to the painful history she had only just escaped. I swear I put dents in the arm rests of my chair. How_ dare_ he? How _dare_ he put his hands on her like that? How _dare_ he just take her away? He used her.

I could rip him apart. But the more I listened, the more I realized how much this was affecting me. How much _she_ was affecting me. I was furious that James had taken her life away and kept her for two years. But I found myself just as furious that he had taken advantage of something as incredible as Bella's love for him.

I knew then, that I would give anything for Bella to love _me_ that way.

And thats why it scared the hell out of me that James was still out there looking for her. What if he found her and I couldn't protect her? What if he took her away again?

_Never_. I shoved the fear into the back of my mind, trying to focus on Bella. She was _here_. She was _safe_.

But that fear resurfaced as Bella suddenly gasped. She had been explaining how she had escaped, giving me real insight to the night I first met her. She described the men over taking _The Nomad._ How they had left James beaten and unconscious on the floor.

Her story was abruptly halted by a look of horror on her face.

"Edward...I'm _not_ safe. And neither are you or your family. The man...the man on the boat he was sending James after you. I can't believe I didn't put it together until now! _You're_ the Cullens!"

"What? Bella I don't-"

"He said you were leaving in a few days, he wanted James to follow you!"

Bella started to cry again, her eyes lost in the memory of that night. Panic returned to me. Who were these people? Why would they want us followed?

Thats when we heard it. The blip on the radar pulled us to reality. _ Shit_.

We both knew as we looked at it now, that either way there was very real danger ahead. Whether the vessel be a whaling ship or _The Nomad _and these mysterious men...we needed to tell my father before I took the helicopter out.

Taking Bella's hand we left the room. I pulled her gently behind me, not wanting to yank her along in my urgency. We came to my father's door and I knocked hastily. I turned to Bella as we waited. I wanted my arms around her again, but I knew this wasn't the time.

So I settled for zipping up her sweater and pulling it tighter around her. She was tiny. She had to be freezing. She looked up at me with the most adoring expression I had ever seen. It made my breath catch in my throat.

Carlisle finally opened the door.

"What is it, son?" he said, looking concerned.

"We've got something, Dad." I replied, referring to the radar.

"Well that's good news!" he said triumphantly. His face fell as he took in Bella and I, our expressions grave. "What's going on..."

I didn't know the right words. I was still in the middle of processing Bella's story and I could barely wrap my head around it, let alone explain it to my father. Bella opened her mouth to rescue me, but I _never _expected to hear _his_ name fall from her mouth.

"Have you heard of a man named Aro?" she asked. I froze beside her. I looked up to see my father's horrified expression and ghost white face.

"Bella...?" I asked... not sure I had heard her correctly. She turned to me to explain.

"The man on _The Nomad_, Edward. The man who sent James. That was his name. Aro."

Dread inundated my mind. Aro was _back_. And he was after us. I looked to my father, whose face was a myriad of emotions. Esme appeared sleepily at his side.

"Bella? Edward? What's wrong?"

Carlisle grabbed his sweater from the closet and threw one to Esme hurriedly. "Quickly." he said. "Follow me."

We kept up with his brisk pace as he found his way to the radio room to inspect the radar himself. He face was hardened with an emotion I had rarely seen from him. He was...._pissed._

"Close the door, Edward." I did as he asked. He turned to Bella with cold, accusing eyes. "When did he hire you?" He growled at her.

Her eyes widened at the sudden attack.

"Dad - " I began to protest, stepping in front of Bella.

"No Edward!" he snapped, looking at Bella again. I could see now that my father had put himself into full captain mode. He was a fearsome man when he was this serious and this upset. "I'm going to ask you again, Bella. When did he hire you?"

"W-who -"

"My brother! Aro!" Carlisle shouted, bring his fist down on the desk. "Are you working for him?"

Bella's mouth was open in shock. "That man is your _brother_!?"

My father clenched his jaw and nodded. Esme's face looked worriedly between her husband and Bella. Bella approached Carlisle cautiously and I tensed. Slowly, she reached out and placed a hand on his arm.

He raised his eyes to look at her, searching her face carefully.

"Carlisle, I promise you, I have_ never_ worked for him." she said firmly.

"She's telling the truth, Dad." I said, coming to stand beside her. He looked over the both of us and seemed to be satisfied. But his hardened face had not changed.

"I need answers. Now."

I took a deep breath and looked at Bella. She squeezed my hand gently and assured me with her eyes that she was okay. Esme rose and closed the door. The four of us sat down and listened as Bella shared her story with them.

It was just as painful to listen to the second time around. She kept her hand in mine the entire time she spoke. I watched my parents' face change as her story continued. Both my mother and father had tears in their eyes by the time Bella was finished.

Bella refused to stay focused on her past when she was done. She didn't want sympathy. Instead, she was worried about _us_.

"I don't know what Aro wants," Bella said. "I can see you aren't on the best terms with your brother. But whatever the problem is, James is _dangerous_. That vessel could be him. If he hurt you...any of you...."

Bella bit her lip, fighting tears. Esme immediately gathered Bella in her arms, unable to sit still any longer.

"Your family has saved my life. If anything h-happened to you... I don't...I -"

"Oh, Bella." she cooed, stroking Bella's hair. After a moment she turned to my father.

"Carlisle, I think she deserves to know."

"I agree, love." he sighed. "Bella, Aro is my younger brother. Our family owns a large shipping corporation. A corporation I left after I discovered my brother was responsible for illegal whaling. My father had been allowing it to continue, turning a blind eye to it all in order to take the profits. I left, outraged. I haven't spoken to my brother since before Emmet was born."

He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. I was surprised he was able to talk about this. It was an unspoken rule in our family...we just didn't bring up that side of that family. It was obviously a touchy subject.

"About eight years ago, I received word that my father had passed. I was surprised to learn that in all this time, he hadn't changed his will. He was still insistent that I take over the company. Aro of course wasn't happy about it. I was also informed that soon after I left, my father had stopped taking the money from Aro's expeditions. He was unable to stop Aro's actions, but he had the decency to stop using the profit."

"I was touched that he did that, and heart broken that I had spent so much time away from him, that I wasn't there when he passed."

Carlisle cleared his throat as Esme rubbed his back.

"Anyway, I found out that Aro had continued whaling. And now that he didn't owe profit to the company, he was keeping it for himself, saving it so he could buy the company out from underneath me. A good friend of mine, Eleazar Denali had been keeping my informed. Because we were constantly out at sea, I signed the company over to him to run while I am out at sea, on the promise that he would not sell my father's company to Aro. He has done well with the company, keeping me informed to make business related decisions and keeping everything running well."

"When Aro learned of this and was denied the company yet again, he _disappeared._ No one had heard from him in years. The first time I have heard mention of him since then is just now, from you, Bella.. I'm afraid he has used this time to regroup. If he's trying to locate me now, the reasons cannot be positive ones. The only people in the way of him taking over our multi million dollar corporation, is this family and the Denali family. I must contact Eleazar.... he must be warned. Aro is...dangerous."

Panic seized my limbs. Shit. This was real. I hated to think that my father's own brother would hurt any of us, but greed changes people. And Aro had now had years to wallow in it.

"Dad, what about the vessel? Should I fly out?" I asked.

"Yes, but I don't want you flying alone and I don't want you unarmed."

_Whoa_. That was new. Carlisle_ hated _guns. The fact that now he didn't want me without one was .... terrifying. It made this all that much more real.

"Can I go with him?" a small voice beside me said. I turned to see Bella looking up hopefully at Carlisle. We all hesitated. "Please, let me go with him."

Carlisle nodded quickly and then all of us were up and moving. Dad went to his study in an attempt to send word of warning to Eleazar. Esme took Bella to her room to find her the suitable gear to wear. I quickly changed and met them at the hanger.

Adrenaline was pumping through me, as it did every time I flew. But this time was different. I wasn't just excited...I was nervous. I had no idea what we would find out there on the dark water, but I was praying to God that it wouldn't be my uncle's ship. _The Volterra_.

Esme and Bella followed me to the helicopter. Quickly I checked the fuel and pulled back the automatic hanger top, revealing the night sky. _Fuck_ it was cold.

I helped Bella up into her seat. She looked nervous as I strapped her in and gave her a head set. I couldn't quite get over how good it looked on her.

I rounded the back side of the copter to find my mother, ringing her hands with worry before give me a gun.

"I don't like this, Edward." she said with a shaking voice. She threw her arms around me. "Please be safe. I'll be at the radio. I want constant communication do you hear me?"

I nodded. Kissing her cheek, I hopped into the pilots seat. _Here we go_.

I placed the gun in between our seats. Bella's eyes fell upon it and she looked up at me with worry.

We took off into the night, Esme giving me latitude and longitude in my ear piece, directing me kilometers away from the guardian.

Minutes passed. Bella was quiet beside me, the helicopter humming loudly and Esme's voice scratching through the radio once in a while. I chanced a glance at Bella. Her face was pressed to the window, eyes wide as she looked at the dark water below us, littered with ice caps.

I thought at first that she may be scared, as most people were, of flying over choppy arctic waters. The reality was, if any of us fell into that water, the chances of our survival were close to zero. Alice went over this with the crew every time we had a new group of recruits.

There was a very small window of time to get a fallen man out of the water. Any more than ten minutes in that freezing cold water meant certain death. Thats why most of the time I made my helicopter trips alone. Not many people were keen on getting inside the tiny air craft. If anything went wrong and we went down, we were dead.

It was a high risk job. But I never cared. Not until now, with Bella sitting beside me. I willed myself to concentrate especially hard on my flying skills, keeping us steady and constantly checking the gauges. I had precious cargo to care for.

Bella seemed oblivious to the danger of the sea below us. Her eyes were wide as she took it all in. It was almost four am and the sky was beginning to get a little lighter, illuminating gorgeous ice caps. Bella had that childlike fascination all over her face again.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I said softly. Though right now, to me, everything paled in comparison to Bella. She turned to face me, her expression bittersweet.

"It is. I'll never get over it. I'll never take it for granted again." She played with her hands before speaking again. "That morning... after you saved me? The sunrise I watched with you was the first I had seen in two years. I will never, ever forget it."

I reached over carefully and took her hand in mine, not able to stop myself from placing a kiss on her palm.

"I'll never forget it either, Bella."

Her smile sent a second rush of adrenaline through me, her cheeks a perfect pink. _God_, she was perfect.

The buzz of the radio brought us back to reality.

"Edward? You should be coming up on it pretty soon, you're only a mile away. Do you see anything?"

"There!" Bella said, pointing to my left. Sure enough, I could see the lights from a ship.

"We've got it, Mom. I'm going to take a closer look."

I kept the helicopter high but as close as I could in order to keep from gaining attention. Whoever was down there didn't need to know who we were.

The ship was decent size, but much smaller than _The Guardian_.

"Can you see the name of the ship, Bella?"

She leaned forward in her seat, squinting.

"Yu...uh...Yushin Maru?"

I let out a loud laugh of relief and triumph before passing on the good news to my mother and turning the copter around, heading back to safety.

The boat was beginning to stir by the time we returned. The crew was buzzing sleepily, becoming anxious as they watched us land.

I helped Bella out of the copter, carefully lifting her out and setting her down. She weighed close to nothing in my arms. She smiled up at me, her eyes full of relief as well.

Now that we had located one of the fleet, the real work began.

The crew was called to a mandatory meeting for debriefing as I charted out our course. Marcus wasted no time in getting us moving, carefully navigating through the water. It was take us about half the day to reach the Yushin Maru if we were lucky.

Carlisle dismissed the crew for chores after explaining the new circumstances but asked that the family stay behind. The crew filed out, and to my disappointment, Bella trailed behind them.

"Bella," came Carlisle's voice. He gave her a soft smile. "That means you too."

I'll never forget the look on her face. She had the most heart breaking smile and unshed tears glistening in her eyes as she returned and sat down.

Without missing a beat, Carlisle turned to all of us with concern written all over his features.

"The Yushin Maru is a harpoon vessel, one of the smaller of the fleet." he explained. "We must do whatever is necessary to shut them down today. They are directing responsible for the slaughtering of the whales."

"Now, this is the first time you will experience ship to ship confrontation and it is extremely dangerous. I will begin the confrontation by sending them a warning transmission that they are indeed involving themselves in illegal killing in a protected whale sanctuary. We are a much bigger vessel and I'm praying that our warning will be enough to send them off. But that chance is slim."

"I hate that it has come to this, but I want all of you armed. I don't want to scare the crew, so keep it to yourselves. If things get violent...."

He sighed in frustration. We all knew he hated guns. He never wanted this to happen. But we hadn't expected to find a harpoon vessel so soon. We weren't otherwise prepared.

"I don't want to use guns or violence. But right now, if things go wrong and we have to protect ourselves, we don't have the choice. I wish there was another way..."

We were all silent for a moment. The air was heavy with dread. Suddenly, Bella spoke up.

"I know another way."

**I'm sure you all can guess what Bella's thinking. Especially if you watch Whale Wars hahaha. Special shout out to Elizabeth Scott for ALWAYS giving the greatest, most honest reviews. She rocks. **

**A couple people have asked if I lived anywhere near water, or if I'm really familiar with boating. Truth is, everything you are reading, is just some damn good research. I want to make this as realistic as I can - granted it won't always be perfect - but it definitely amps up the intensity of the story. **

**Please please please let me know what you think so far. The more reviews, the faster I update!**

**Peace, love and Edward Cullen, baby!**


	10. Whale song

**Hey everyone. Thought I'd give ya some BPOV this time around. She may be speaking again, but there is a **_**lot**_** going on under the surface. Also a lot of Whale Wars events. And some E/B fluffiness. Please let me know what you think. **

**BPOV**

Only hours ago I was nearly weightless beside Edward, flying in his helicopter over the vast expanse of the arctic ocean. Feeling an incredible sense of peace wash over me, even if just for a moment.

The water, the sky...the beautiful man beside me...for a moment nothing else existed. Not James, not Aro, not the whalers or the gun sitting in between our seats.

It was all gone. Completely swallowed by the beauty and danger of what was around us.

I knew I should have been afraid. I had heard my fair share of horror stories about sailors lost in the arctic. I knew the risks. But I couldn't be afraid. At least not for myself. If this water wanted to take me, there wasn't much I could do. I didn't have much to lose. I wasn't afraid of death.

I was afraid of losing Edward. It worried me to learn that he usually took these flights alone. It was the reason I had begged to come along, knowing full well the risks of his task.

I used to welcome death when I was aboard _The Nomad_. In my darkest hours I had prayed for it to just end, yet I never had the courage to try and end it myself. Now, as I learned more about Edward and his family, I was ashamed I had ever felt that way.

To the Cullens, life was _so precious._ Every life. Whether it be a human or a whale. To them, life was worth fighting for. As we flew in mostly silence, I promised myself that I would do the same from now on. I would fight for the right to live. I would use this journey as my second chance.

It had been such an emotional night. One I would never forget. Dredging up the turmoil of my past had been painful and yet....liberating. Being alone for so long, I finally felt as though I had someone on my side. A _family _on my side.

I could feel myself becoming attached to them. The danger that faced them brought out a side of me I hadn't known I obtained. I was becoming fiercely protective of them. To imagine even one of them hurt.... I couldn't bear the thought.

To imagine _Edward_ hurt....fucking _broke_ me.

As he had kissed my palm on the copter, I thought I was _dreaming_.

When Carlisle had asked the family to stay behind, I was reluctant to leave Edward's side. Something about this man was drawing me to him like a magnet. It was unexplainable.

My heart had attached itself to his without my knowledge or permission. It had only been a few weeks, but I knew I was in deep. His pain was my pain. His worry was my worry. His joy was my joy.

Is this what love really is? Could I call it love? No other word I could think of seemed to describe this warmth within me. But I held the word captive. I was in way out of my league.

And I couldn't let myself love him. After this was all over, I would have to leave. To start over again. A new name, a new town...everything had to be changed if I wanted to keep myself and those I loved safe.

As Carlisle called me back to them, my eyes filled with tears. I was _family_? I was _family_. And when this ship docked again, I would have to leave them. I would have to disappear.

Would it always be this way? Would I always have to run from those I loved just to keep them safe? Would it always hurt to love this much?

I did my best to keep my composure as I listened to Carlisle give us some insight on the Yushin Maru.

Carlisle and Esme were such peaceful, passionate people. Even in the face of the cruelty of humans, they were so wary of using violence. Carlisle hated guns. I could see the rest of his family weren't too fond of them either.

"...if things go wrong and we have to protect ourselves, we don't have the choice. I wish there was another way...."

The Cullens grew quiet. I wanted to help. Badly. In my head I ran through my list of chemical artillery. Maybe this time, I could use my tools for a good cause instead of a bad one.

"I know another way." I said. All eyes were on me.

_Gulp_.

"A few ways actually." I continued, shakily. "Ways you can get your message across without hurting anyone. Not to mention, making it impossible for them to finish their work."

"I'm listening, Bella." Carlisle said with gentle encouragement.

"Do you have any supplies of methocel on board?" I asked, cautiously. James had been especially fond of these little devils. "It is often used as a thickening compound for food... would you have any available, Rose?"

"I'll go look." she answered, immediately rising to her feet and heading towards the pantry.

"Methocel?" Esme said, looking confused.

"If I can get it in powder form, I can make methocel bombs..."

"Bombs!!!?" came a chorus of voices.

"Let me explain," I raised a hand, trying to calm them. "I pack the methocel tightly in paper packages. If we can get close enough to the ship to throw the packets on to their deck, they might do some damage. When the methocel breaks open onto the deck it just looks like a powdery mess. But the more water added in attempt to clean it up, the more slippery the deck becomes, making it almost impossible to walk on."

A sly grin appeared on Carlisle's face.

"That's genius, Bella! What else have you got up your sleeve?"

"Well it may take a while to make, but it could be useful in the future. I used to make butyric acid bottles....its basically the ultimate stink bomb. We could make a prop fouler or some flashbangs...."

I let myself start to ramble some of the less violent tools I had created for James. Often times his orders not only held these on their lists, but also deadly gas bombs or other devices that would cause deafness, blindness...you name it. These he sold to more of his serious clients. I was ashamed when I thought of what I had created and the people I had created it for.

But now I hoped that I could help. That my skills could be used to send a clear message and a nonviolent one.

I stopped rambling scientific jargon when I noticed the silence in the room. I slowly stopped moving my mouth and looked around. Everyone was looking at me with wide eyes and open mouths.

Shit. Was there something in my teeth? I ran a hand through my hair, not knowing what that looked like either. It _had_ been a long night.

"W-what's wrong?" I asked hesitantly, looking to Edward for answers.

He shook his head and laughed, his eyes still wide with surprise as he looked at me. "Nothing's wrong, Bella....it's just..."

"It's just what?"

"Bella," came Carlisle's voice. "You've just changed the game plan. And things have _definitely_ turned in our favor." He smiled approvingly. He took Esme's hand in his.

"Let's do it."

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

Luckily, Rosalie had a decent amount of methocel in the cargo hold. Since most of the foods she made consisted of hot broth or soup, she always ordered some to keep in the hold in case things got a little thin.

I used the supply sparingly, hoping to make enough but to save what I could for the future.

I felt Edward's eyes on me, watching me carefully as I sifted through the powder, trying to make it finer, harder to clean up. I could do this shit blind folded by now.

In quick, easy motions, I measured the powder and packaged it, wrapping it perfectly and taping it into neat, taught bundles. Edward sat down beside me.

"Can I help?" he asked. I smiled at him and nodded. "Just show me what to do."

I measured out the methocel and placed the amounts in the center of the packaging paper. Slowing down my movements I showed him the perfect way to package it. It had to be tight enough to break on contact, but not tight enough to break in our hands.

He caught the hang of it, although he was slower at it. My years of practice left me with quick instinctive movements that finished the job quickly. Soon Alice had joined us, watching closely.

I started laughing out loud when I saw her doodling all over the brown paper bombs. Each one of them decorated with her handy work said, "Love Whales."

Alice Cullen was beyond adorable. Edward caught on to her and started chuckling as well, only to have Alice stick her tongue out at him.

Esme entered the room, catching our attention.

"Bella, Edward, why don't you two get something to eat and catch some sleep."

I looked up at the clock. It was almost eleven am. So much had happened in one night! My stomach, as though trying to make a closing argument in a courtroom, growled loudly, making me blush red.

"Are you sure there is enough time to sleep?" Edward asked. I was thankful he couldn't hear my stomach.

"Yes, you'll have time. _The Yushin Maru_ is on the move. We are working to catch up to her. You both have done so much. Grab something to eat and get to bed for a few hours. You'll need your strength. I'll wake you as soon as we are in range."

She leaned down and kissed the top of Edward's head before leaving.

I followed Edward out the doors, almost audibly sucking in a breath as he reached for my hand again in the hallway. _He wanted to hold my hand_?

_Get it together, Bella_.

Rosalie made us some amazing grilled cheese which I hungrily devoured. I hadn't realized how hungry I was. I was so happy to be eating regular meals. I was much stronger now than I had been just weeks ago thanks to Rosalie's cooking.

After I had finished, she made us both a cup of tea and left to go find Emmett.

Being alone with Edward was peaceful and calm. There was something about him that just put me totally at ease. I just felt...safe. Breathing in deeply over my steaming cup of tea I gave him a soft smile with sleepy eyes.

I was drained. Emotionally, physically, mentally. When I looked up at Edward, I saw the same exhaustion written all over him.

"Are you feeling it too?" he grinned.

"Oh, you mean the utter exhaustion? Yep. I'm definitely feeling it." I laughed, taking a sip of my tea.

"Alice says you've had trouble sleeping at night." he said, his face more serious now. I nodded.

"It's not so bad..." I said, not wanting him to worry too much. "I just have...nightmares sometimes."

"Nightmares?" he asked curiously.

"About James, chasing me. Or my dad." I took a deep breath. "Or you."

Before he could say anything in response to that I continued.

"I know I wasn't scheduled for a radar shift last night, but I was hoping that if I stayed occupied, I would be able to avoid the nightmares for a night." I shrugged.

Edward's long elegant fingers traced the rim of his tea mug, his expression one of deep thought. After a moment he looked up at me.

"Can...Can I show you something, Bella?" he asked.

My tea mug still in hand, I followed him down the narrow hallway outside the galley and down a long corridor past mine and Alice's cabin.

I let my eyes wander over Edward as I followed him. I followed the mess of bronze hair on his head, down his neck, over his sweater, where I could see his shoulder blades and the strong V of his back.

And his _ass_. Oh my. _Focus, Bella_.

At very end of the passage was a small door with a round porthole window. Edward opened the door for me followed me in. I could feel his hand on the small of my back, guiding me inside. It sent sparks up my spine.

The room was small, and cluttered with books. It reminded me a lot of my room back at home and my bunk on _The Swan 197_. The bed was made...sort of. Charlie used to do the same thing, just pulling his covers up and calling it a day. It must be a guy thing. It made me smile.

Edward ran a nervous hand through his hair. "This is...uhh..this is my room." I looked up at him and grinned, spotting a faint blush on his cheeks. Something especially attractive about him was how shy he could be.

It was absolutely adorable.

I looked across the room to see another bunk, this side of the room more empty.

"That's Emmett's side." Edward explained. "He...well...he likes to stay with Rose most of the time."

He was watching me carefully as I took in his room. I hopped up onto his bed to get a better look at the books he kept on the shelf above. The man was well read. I fingered the spines of each novel, twisting my neck to read the titles.

Underneath the books were rows and rows of CDs. I was pleasantly surprised to find Debussy tucked away along with The Shins, Billie Holiday, Alexi Murdoch....he had excellent taste.

I felt his weight on the bed as he sat down behind me and reached across my shoulder to find one CD in particular. He was so close, I could feel his warm breath on my neck as he reached over me, pulling out a worn case.

"Sometimes when I can't sleep, I listen to this." He said, handing me the case. "I don't know if it will help you, but it's yours if you want it." He blushed again.

I smiled up at him thankfully, but I didn't want to leave yet. So instead I found his player and popped in the CD quickly, settling back down beside him. I pulled his blanket up over our legs as I sat down, noting the look of surprise on his face. Also noting that the look of surprise was accompanied by a crooked grin playing on his lips.

I blushed, hoping I wasn't being too forward as I sat down next to him. It had been a while since I was close to a man. And I_ wanted_ to be close to Edward. Even if just for a little while longer.

I listened as the sound began to trickle from the radio. There were no instruments, no voice or words....but the sound was mesmerizing and dream like. It was a sonar recording of _whale songs_.

"That's _incredible_, Edward." I said, eyes wide as I listened to the harmonic tones of these beautiful creatures. "Thank you." I whispered, looking into his vivid green eyes.

Before I could stop myself, I placed a small kiss on his cheek, giving both of us blazing cheeks and foolish grins.

The dream like quality of the whale songs must have effected us both, because before I knew it, I was falling asleep, still sitting up, resting my head on Edward's broad chest. His heart beat slowing to a regular pace and his breath becoming slow and even.

_This_ was heaven. I let myself give in completely to my subconscious. No dreams haunted me, no evil men were chasing me. I was just here. Sleeping in Edward's arms.

I didn't know how much time had passed when I finally awoke. I opened my eyes slowly, finding myself in a different position than before. I was on my side, with my upper half laying across Edward's lap, my face turned towards his torso and my arms wrapped around his waist.

I looked up to see Edward still fast asleep. He was still sitting up, but he looked comfortable, leaning back on his pillows. His arm was on my back, as though he had almost been cradling me.

His face was even more perfect as he slept. His long lashes cast perfect shadows on his cheeks. His full lips were parted just slightly and his eye brows were knitted in a dream.

_I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him so bad_.

I was wide awake now. Hyper aware of how close we were. My thoughts were _racing_. He had never moved me or tried to get away from me. His arms were around me like he _wanted_ to hold me.

Did he want to? Did he like this as much as I did?

_Jesus, Bella. Shut up_.

What do I do now? Do I get up? Or should I just not move and enjoy this as long as I can? What if he wakes up and realizes how uncomfortable he is with me just laying in his lap?

What if he thinks I'm a clingy, emotional freak? What if...what if...what if...

Suddenly I felt soft fingers on my cheek. I looked up to see Edward looking down at me with a curious expression on his face.

"What are you thinking about?" he said, concerned. Obviously my mess of thoughts had appeared on my face because Edward was reading my expression suspiciously. "You looked anxious. Did you sleep okay?"

I carefully sat up and stretched. "I slept wonderfully."

"No nightmares?"

"None whatsoever." I smiled. He grinned back at me.

"So the CD worked it's magic?"

_I doubt it was just the CD_. I nodded, laughing at his triumphant smile.

I heard movement from outside his door and nearly jumped into his lap when Emmett crashed through.

"Edward - oh! Heyyyyyy Bells!" He gave Edward a knowing grin and a wink.

Boys.

"Dad wants you in the air. We're in range now and he needs a pair of eyes from up top before we come up on their port side. Want me to come along?"

Edward and I both rose to our feet. Time for reality.

"Sure thing, Em. Just let me grab my gear."

"Okay, but just make sure we're back in time for the fun. I want to throw some shit at those assholes. Bella save a few packets for me, okay?"

"Of course." I laughed. With that Emmett turned on his heal and headed up to the top deck. Edward was throwing on his boots and looking around the room for various warm pieces of clothing.

He was almost ready, but seemed to be missing something. He ruffled through his closet, looking up and down for it. I spotted what I thought he was looking for hanging on his bed post.

I pulled the wool scarf from its hiding place and held it reverently in my hands.

"Is this what you're looking for?" I asked. He stopped his fruitless searching and turned to me, smiling with relief when he saw the scarf.

I bit my lip nervously. I didn't want him to go. All the worst scenarios were running through my head. I imagined the copter plummeting into the sea, carrying him along with it. And me, helplessly stuck on board unable to do anything but watch.

I shuddered at the thought.

Taking a step closer to him, I wrapped the scarf carefully around his neck, making sure it was knotted and warm enough. Edward watched me carefully, his expression one I couldn't quite read. When I was finished, I let my hands rest on his chest just a moment too long.

"Just...just be careful. Please." I said in a small voice, unable to meet his eyes. I felt the pad of his thumb on my cheek.

"Always, Bella." he promised.

Before I knew it I was watching from the wheel house as the copter lifted off into the blue, afternoon sky. Tensions were high on board. Everyone was anxious.

All the crew members, including me, were geared up in thick, wintry coats and pants. My supply of methocel bombs were being kept in a container on top deck.

I joined Alice as we listened to Edward's radio transmissions, waiting for news of the harpoon vessel we were about to confront. The vessel that was now _speeding_ through the waves at an alarming rate.

I heard Edward's voice patch through the radio.

"Dad - Dad they've got Minke's to their port bow. There's guys at the harpoons. You've gotta catch up to them. _Now_. The whales are going at least 17 knots to get away from this ship."

"Alright, Edward. We're moving as fast as we can."

"No-no...Dad...you have to _hurry_. Oh my God...Dad..."

I heard panic over take Edward's voice and fear gripped my chest. I ran to the window and looked out. We were close enough now to see clearly. Only a few hundred yards separated the two vessels.

I left the wheel house and looked to _The Yushin Maru_. I sucked in a breath of icy air as I saw it.

There was blood in the water.

**Sorry about the cliffie. I promise to update soon. :) Please review and let me know what you think. **


	11. Confrontation

**EPOV**

I felt my heart freeze in my chest as the first harpoon sprung from its cannon.

"Dad, they got her." Emmett said into his mic. He was taking video footage to document our confrontation. At first, I thought the video feed was a waste of time.

But now, I was almost glad he had it. I wanted the world to see this. It fucking hurt. But I wanted the world to know.

Is _this_ what is left of our humanity? Fruitless destruction of innocence. The careless taking of an already endangered life?

Animal or man...our blood is the same damn color.

Esme had raised us to keep in mind the purpose of all things. She believed that animals and men were put in place to help each other. There was a balance. A cycle of life. A cycle of abundance. Yes, men take from animals. As food and nourishment, as companionship. But when the balance was lost and the killing became senseless, it was man's job to protect voiceless creatures. To restore the balance.

This killing _was_ senseless. The slaughter of whales was used for trivial luxuries. There was no necessity in their deaths. It was murder based on greed.

Both of us were in absolute shock as we watched the deep blue water churn crimson. The whale was struggling against the steel imbedded in her side. The whalers at the cannons on their top deck fired a second harpoon to still her permanently.

"Jesus Christ..." Emmett breathed.

I couldn't even speak. I was devastated. I had heard Dad speak of the horrors of whaling. I'd seen countless research documentaries on the tragedies we'd heard of across the oceans. That was more than enough to get me revved up and angry. More than enough for me to throw myself into our cause.

But this was the first time I had _seen_ it happen.

And now I was so angry, clenching my jaw until it hurt. This was _wrong_. This was_ so_ wrong.

"Get us back to the hanger, E." Emmett said through clenched teeth. "I wanna do some damage to these bitches."

I turned the helicopter around and sped back to the hanger. He didn't have to tell me twice. I couldn't watch any more. I was filled with adrenaline and spite. I wanted those whalers to _pay_. I wanted them to _fear_ us.

I landed flawlessly, my jaw still clenched and my fists tight. I could feel the same aggression radiating from my brother as we marched to the wheel house. I saw the faces of the crew still staring at _The Yushin Maru_. Looks of terror and sorrow etched on their faces.

When they saw Emmett and I pass, the anger in our stance and the determination in our eyes, their moods changed. Soon everyone's expression was matching ours. It was time to _do_ this.

My eyes searched for her. For Bella. I could see her up on second deck, clenching the railing. He eyes were on me. She didn't look out to the grotesque scene we were approaching. She was looking only at me.

Her eyes were sad and relieved all at once. _God, those eyes_. They could say so much. Tell so many stories. I wanted to know them all.

Waking up this afternoon with her in my arms was something I knew I would never forget. After one of the most tense, emotionally straining nights I had ever really experienced... after sharing that with Bella, there was something new between us.

It was solidified trust. Knowing the truth made it easier for both of us to breathe. It made it easier to hold her hand or touch her cheek. It opened the doors. Now I could be close to her.

I knew there was still a lot to learn, a lot I didn't know. But I was ecstatic that Bella would let me find out. Elated that she would let me hold her hand. Let me hold her while she slept. Thrilled that she cared about my safety. That she might feel this too. This overwhelming need to protect, to care for, to...love.

_Love_? I knew I was crazy for even thinking it. It had only been a few weeks. But I knew that no other word could describe what I felt for Bella.

And as I looked up at her now, the way her eyes were concerned for _me_, the way her hair fell around her perfect face...I knew...I was starting to fall in love with her. Slowly but surely, she would be my undoing. I bit my lip as the thoughts passed through my head.

I couldn't tell her. She'd probably run. She'd probably freak out. Then I would lose it all. This chance to be close to her. She'd push me away. It was too much too soon. She had things to work out. She had a past she needed to heal from.

It was selfish of me to want her to love me back.

I followed Emmett up the steel steps to where Bella was waiting, Alice and Jasper now beside her. Alice was teary eyed. Jasper kissed her cheek lovingly and kept his arms around her waist.

I was taken by surprise when Bella wrapped her arms around my neck. She breathed a sigh of relief into my chest.

I looked behind her at Alice, who was now sporting a small, knowing smile.

Bella pulled away slowly, blushing and looking slightly embarrassed. She took my hand and led me back down the steps to where a container of methocel bombs were waiting for us.

"Are you ready?" she asked me.

Emmett answered for me. "Hell yes. Pass me one of those motherfuckers."

Alice came down and started passing out the little packages to some of the crew members who were strong enough to make the long distance throw. We all knew the drill now. We assembled along our starboard side, facing _The Yushin Maru_ as we came to it's port side.

Everyone cringed as we watched their crew haul aboard the enormous body of the dead whale. I heard Bella gasp beside me. Her face was contorted with disgust and sorrow. I watched in fascination as these expressions morphed into one of pure anger.

She clutched the methocel bomb in her hand, her eyes sweeping over their deck.

"Aim for the open deck around the harpoon cannons." she advised.

We waited patiently as Carlisle's voice boomed over the loud speaker, addressing the _Yushin Maru_.

"This is the Captain of _The Guardian_ speaking. You are participating in illegal whaling acts in an arctic whale sanctuary. You must leave these waters immediately."

His voice echoed with authority, ringing in our ears.

Now, in an ideal situation, we would surely want them to heed our warning and retreat. Usually the enormity of our ship intimidated whalers to leave. But I'm sure I wasn't the only one hoping that they would dare to refuse us. Hoping I would finally get permission to fuck up their deck and send them home.

_Go ahead and stay, assholes. I dare you_.

A voice from the opposing ship echoed from their speakers in choppy English.

"This is a research facility. Please stop your aggressive advance immediately."

Emmett chuckled darkly beside me.

"I'll fucking show them aggressive...."

Carlisle's voice boomed above us again.

"Again, this is a whale sanctuary. Whether you claim to be a research vessel or not is irrelevant. Your actions are illegal. Leave immediately."

Everyone waited with baited breath for a response. The Japanese crew had halted their work to watch us carefully. The voice responded once again over the loud speaker.

"This is a research facility," it repeated. "Please stop your aggressive advance immediately."

I looked up to second deck where my father emerged from the wheel house doors. He had a smirk on his face as he nodded to all of us, giving us the signal. He came down the steps and picked up a brown package in his hands.

He made the very first throw, causing a loud howl of approval from Emmett who threw next. With that, the crew was shouting and yelling as the methocel bombs flew towards the_ Yushin Maru_, cracking open with accuracy on their deck.

We spread out along the rails, trying to cover as much of their deck as we could with the slippery substance.

Their deck, already wet with water and whale blood, was a perfect place for the methocel. We watched it take effect almost immediately. The Japanese crew members were hurrying to try and clean up the mess on their floors.

Just as Bella said, the water was only making it worse. Within an hour, the crew was practically crawling on the deck, unable to stay on their feet. Emmett was joined by the others as he started cheering loudly, watching the whalers fall all over themselves.

As if some sign from God, the skies open up, letting out a small rain shower which soon turned into a full down pour. Normally I would have been annoyed to be drenched and soaking wet in the cold, but this was perfect timing. The rain was _covering_ the deck in the slick methocel.

Our crew burst into applause, celebrating wildly. I whirled around, looking for Bella, squinting through the rain. My smile faded when I realized she was no longer beside me. I whirled around again. I didn't see her on deck.

I was just about to panic when I saw her and Rosalie emerge from the wheelhouse, carrying something in her hands. Rose had a devilish grin on her face. Bella was focused on the object in her hands.

The_ Yushin Maru_ was beginning to move, turning away from us slowly. I watched as Bella's head shot up and she moved faster, trying not to slip as she carried the object down the stairs and over to where Emmett and I were standing.

"Can one of you throw this?" she panted. "I can't throw that far. It needs to land near the whales they have on board. We have to hurry!"

Emmett took what looked like a large brown bottle from Bella's hands. With one great swing it was flying through the air and accurately smashing beside the collection of dead whales on board the harpoon vessel.

"What was that?" I asked. Rosalie smirked.

"Rose helped me find some putrified butter in the hold. It was just enough to make a bottle bomb. The smell and the acid will ruin all their whale meat. They won't make a _cent_ this season. Not to mention, it takes _forever _to get the stench out." she said with a triumphant grin.

We looked back to the _Yushin Maru_, where several sailors were leaning over the side, vomiting at the stench.

Emmett let out a barking laugh and I was grinning ear to ear. He picked up Rosie and spun her around cursing at the retreating boat. Bella laughed. It was a full, loud, beautiful laugh. It was the widest smile I had ever seen from her.

She was stunning.

Drenched in rain we all moved back inside, stripping out of our heavy gear in the mud room. All of us had silly grins all over our faces. We had won the battle, not the war....but we had good cause to celebrate.

Bella's face was radiating joy. Her perfect pink cheeks framed by dark chestnut curls of rain soaked hair. She was shivering as we pulled off our heavy coats and stumbled out of our boots.

I didn't get the chance to talk to her as Alice yanked her in the direction of the showers, squeaking with laughter all the way. I let my eyes follow Bella's small frame down the hall.

I was shaken to the present as Emmett smacked my back, laughing.

"You have got it bad, E." he chuckled.

"Shut up."

"Whatever man. You'll figure it out..." he laughed, heading down the same hallway towards the showers. At the end of the hall were the shower rooms. The guys showers were to the right, the girls to the left.

I made my way to the guys showers and into the nearest stall. The hot water didn't last long on board, so showers only last five minutes tops before the water ran cold.

I quickly washed my hair and body, Bella's face still clear in my mind. I thought back to that afternoon, Bella curled up in my lap. The way she moaned in her sleep or stirred against my torso.

My lower body instantly reacted to the memory, all the blood rushing downward. _Fuck_.

Daydreaming about a Bella had caused me to lose track of time. Before I knew it, my five minutes were up and a freezing blast of cold water hit my back.

"Goddammit!"

Emmett's booming laugh sounded from the shower stall next to me.

The cold blast was only successful in solving the problem in my lower half. I wrapped my towel around my waist and marched out the door of the mens room, only to almost drop it when I ran straight into someone.

I looked down to find a pair of brown doe eyes and a very shivering, very wet, and mostly naked.... Bella.

_Jesus_. I felt my towel tighten slightly around my waist. Just when I thought I had successfully cured my raging hard on....

Bella was flushing bright red, but giggling as I helped her steady herself on her feet.

"S-Sorry, Edward." she laughed, her teeth chattering as she spoke. "I s-seem to have a h-habit of running into you."

She stepped back from me for a moment, allowing me a full view of her body. The tiny towel did nothing to hide her perfect form. The curve of her hip, the swell of her breasts, the elegant line of her long neck.

_God_ she was gorgeous.

Alice came out behind her, covered completely in a fuzzy pink robe, a huge towel twisted on her head and a tooth brush still in her mouth.

Instant cure for the issue in my towel.

"Oh my gosh, Bella! I'm so sorry I forgot to warn you about the showers. You must be freezing!!!!" She ushered Bella towards their room, leaving me speechless.

Bella looked back at me over her bare shoulders, still blushing, with an apologetic grin.

I groaned and headed back to my room, willing my little _problem_ to go away. I dressed in thick denim jeans and threw a dark grey fleece over my head, letting my body warm up. After I was finished getting dressed, I headed to the galley. Rose was making a huge dinner for everyone. I immediately smelled her vegetable chili and cornbread, the scent teasing me as it wafted through the air.

I opened the swinging doors to the galley to find a happy scene. The crew members were scattered at different tables, steam rising from their bowls, laughter in the air. We had done well. Everyone was feeling it.

Rose handed me a warm bowl of chili and I sat down with her and Emmett. Soon after, Alice, Jasper and Bella came to sit down with us as well.

I loved watching Bella eat. She looked at every meal so reverently. It wasn't until now that I understood why. But nevertheless, I watched from under my eye lashes as she took a deep breath, closing her eyes as the steam rose from her bowl. She ate small bites, never hurrying through her meal, just thoroughly enjoying it. And she never left anything on her plate, she always finished it all. I liked that.

Conversation flowed freely as we ate, everyone's moods lifted by the day's victory. Bella sat across from me, laughing as Emmett cracked jokes about Mike Newton and running her fingers over the rim of her glass. I clenched my jaw as I watched her take her bottom lip between her teeth.

Images of her in her towel flashed through my mind.

_Fuck, Edward. Quit it_.

Our table was situated next to the large bay windows of the galley. About an hour into dinner, Bella's focused strayed as he eyes wandered out the window, watching the sun set on the horizon. A smile played on her lips as she lost herself to the scene before her. I loved the smile on her face when she thought no one was watching.

Alice's high pitched voice snapped me to attention.

"Dad is no fun, he's not opening the booze cabinet." she whined. "What can we do instead?"

After a moment of silence, she continued.

"Well, we never did finish our game of hide and seek..."

I groaned, wincing a little as I remembered the condition we found Bella in the last time we attempted to play. Emmett shook his head. "You're insufferable woman."

"Oh come on!" Alice griped. "Bella, you want to play, don't you?"

Bella looked up at me innocently, "I'll play, Alice. Although, someone will have to hide with me. I still don't know my way around too well."

"Oh that's fine!" Alice replied. "We'll hide in pairs. Me and Jasper, Emmett and Rose and you and Edward."

"Alice...do we really have to play?" Emmett groaned.

"Yes! Come on, you SO owe me a game. I'll even count the first time around." she offered.

"Ugh...fine." Emmett said, taking Rose's hand. "You better start counting, pixie."

Rose gave him a playful smack on the ass as they made their way out the door.

"Don't look too hard for us, Alice!" Emmett's voice carried through the hall.

Bella giggled, rising to her feet to follow me as we heard Alice start squeaking out numbers next to Jazz.

Her fingers easily slipped through mine as we made our way our the doors and down the stairs, getting lost in a web of stairways and hallways. We laughed as we hurried down another flight of stairs, hearing Alice's pattering feet on the floor above.

"Hurry! She's coming!" Bella squeaked through her laughter. I started to hear foot steps coming down the stairs and I wrenched open a door to my left, a dark closet full of heavy winter coats and deck gear. I closed the door softly, both of us were strangling laughter as we pushed our way further into the dark closet full of coats.

At least it was warm down here. Bella pushed her way past the coats, disappearing in the dark. I blinked rapidly, trying to let my eyes adjust to the pitch black.

"Edward?" came Bella's whisper. She was giggling again. "Where are you?"

I fumbled in the dark, making my way over to the sound of her voice.

"I'm right here..." I laughed. Suddenly, I felt her small hands around mine, pulling me to the back of the large closet.

"Come back here, she'll see our feet when she opens the door." she whispered. I stubbed my toe on something and cursed. Bella broke into another fit of laughter. She pulled me forward in the darkness until finally her back found the corner of the closet. I felt my hands find the wall.

My eyes were adjusting slowly. Her small body was wedged into the corner and both of my hands had come to rest on either side of her. I had never been this close to her. I could feel her breath, warm and steady against my neck as she looked up at me. I could smell her hair, sweet and clean from the showers.

Instinctively I lowered my head, my cheek resting against hers. I felt her breathing pick up pace, along with my own. My heart was pounding in my fucking chest. I felt her nose trace over my cheek, sending chills all over my body.

Did she want this too? Was this okay? Was I freaking her out? Oh god, she probably thinks I'm a creep.

All the thoughts tumbling through my head were brought to a sudden halt as I felt her nose meet mine, our lips only centimeters away.

"Bella..." I breathed. I felt her hands move slowly up my chest and wrap themselves around my neck, playing with my hair.

This was _it_. I was going to kiss Bella.

The loud jarring of the closet door shook us from our moment, each of us holding our breath as light trickled down onto the floor.

_Fuck you, Alice. Goddammit!_

"Edward, I totally see your feet. You're out!" she laughed. I let out the breath I had been holding and groaned loudly in frustration.

We reluctantly moved out of our hiding space, almost blinded by the light from the hall. Now out of the dark, I looked to see Bella, blushing dark red, behind me.

I wanted to say something, anything....but Alice was oblivious to the moment she had just interrupted.

"Come on Bella! Let's go find Em and Rose!" she squealed, dragging Bella behind her.

I felt. Absolutely. Fucking. Robbed.

My face must have shown it, because Jasper stood there laughing at me before smacking my back and shaking his head.

"Sorry, man." he laughed.

I rolled my eyes at him and practically growled.

I finished the game that night half heartedly. Alice didn't push a second round after she found Emmett and Rose in a compromising position down in the cargo hold. The game just didn't appeal to her after that.

_Ha. Thats what you get, pixie_.

It had gotten pretty late and everyone headed off to their cabins. Bella looked at me with a shy smile and blushed a fierce red before saying good night.

I headed to my room feeling completely frustrated and confused. I almost _kissed_ Bella. And...she _let _me. What did that mean? What if Alice had never arrived?

_Dammit, Alice_ _and her timing_.

I ripped my sweater off over my head, feeling the cool air hit my bare chest. Kicking off my pants I fell into my sheets, running my hands through my hair and taking a deep breath.

Today had been one of the longest days of my life. I could feel the weight of the events of the last twenty four hours take hold of me. I was exhausted. But I couldn't stop thinking of her. I pictured her again, imagining what it would have been like to kiss her tonight.

What her lips might have felt like moving against mine. Soft, warm, sweet. I shivered as I remembered the way her hands had roamed up my chest and snaked around my neck.

When I finally did close my eyes...all I saw was Bella.

**Okay Okay...please please don't kill me for the almost kiss. I PROMISE you that it will be worth the wait. Cross my heart, girl scouts honor and all that jazz. Some shits gotta happen first. I hope this chapter satisfied for now. I wanted to focus a little more on the whales. And a little more on the growing romantic tension between E and B. I will definitely be posting again this weekend. Happy fourth of July! Please please review. **

**Don't hate me :(**


	12. The Fall

**Hey everyone. :) Thanks for being patient with me - yet again. You are all so supportive and wonderful. And just for being awesome...this chapter is extra long. And action packed. I decided it was time for Bella to ditch the damsel in distress schtick. Just for this chapter at least. Time for Bella to be the hero.**

**Just an FYI, A zodiac, for those of you who don't watch Whale Wars, is a small water craft. Really good for zipping through the waves.**

**OH! Before I forget... Thank you Thank you Thank you to whoever it was that nominated You Don't Have To Hide for the Indie Awards Most Romantic Moment. I never expected it. It is an honor to be nominated. Thank you so much!**

**BPOV**

His mouth covered mine in such sweet perfection, I never wanted to untangle myself from him. His breath became my own as we let our tongues move against each others in slow, long, deep movements. It was intoxicating contact. Every cell in my body _alive_.

Skin burning, eyes hazy, lips swollen and perfect. I could stay this way forever. His hands tangle in my hair and follow the curves of my face, fingertips sweet and gentle. I explore with my hands as well, feeling the lines of his strong jaw, down his neck and broad chest.

I find the hem of his shirt, lifting slowly and cautiously, searching his emerald eyes for affirmation, for the same desire I could feel in my very core. His eyes hold only trust and love and _want_.

I remove his shirt slowly, taking a breath at the sight of his perfect chest, his lean abdomen, the v shape of his hips disappearing into his jeans, the small trail of hair following the same path downward.

My hands follow the paths my eyes have wandered down and I feel his heart beat faster, his breath come quicker.

"Bella..." he breaths, finding the buttons on my blouse and taking his time to undress me. He is ever so careful, searching my face for permission before he slides the fabric of my shirt off my shoulders, letting it fall to the ground.

"Bella, I lov-"

The loud creak of the cabin door lifted me from my dream. _Damn_.

Alice winced apologetically when she noticed me sprawled out on my bed with a book flung across my stomach. I must have dozed off.

"Sorry!" she said softly. "I didn't mean to ruin your nap."

I rose groggily, sitting up in bed, suddenly noticing how the ship was groaning loudly beneath me. "No, that's okay, Ali. I was just resting my eyes."

She gave me a look that told me she knew otherwise. She was busy moving around the room, finding boots and her scarf and gloves.

"It's good I found you though," she said. "We've hit a monster storm and we need help tying down the zodiac boats."

She looked worried. We had been having some pretty horrendous weather the past few days now. Not too many of us had spent much time on top deck unless things needed to be tied down or hatches needed to be closed.

But something about the look on Alice's face today had me nervous. It must be bad today.

It had been a week since the confrontation. A week since we had our small victory against the _Yushin Maru_. A week since almost kissing Edward in the closet.

A _long,_ restless week.

As we had celebrated wildly on deck at the Yushin Maru's retreat, I felt victorious. I felt useful. I felt...liberated. Everything I had done, had been for good. It had actually served a rightful purpose.

Who was I kidding....it was all for_ him_. It was all for Edward. The triumphant,_ proud _smile he wore that day is one I will never forget.

My nightmares had been replaced with dreams of what could have happened in that closet. What Edward's skin would feel like against mine. My dreams were filled with images of his eyes, his lips, his hands...

The need that had grown within me just to_ touch_ him was unbelievably strong. Which is exactly why this week had been filled with anxiety and restlessness.

It was the way he _looked_ at me. He studied me carefully. I knew he was curious about the closet incident, but I was too chicken shit to bring it up and he seemed wary of my reaction if he pushed it. And so for a week we were stuck in limbo. Always friends, but stuck in our own curiosity about what we _could_ be. If there could be more.

It wasn't awkward or strange, it just felt as though things were being put on hold. Our friendship remained steady. I still sat with him through every meal, still did chores right along side him.

Once in a while we would take a shift together in the radio room watching the radar. We would talk of everything _but_ the _almost_ kiss. The kiss I dreamt of every night since it _hadn't_ happened.

I was happy to lose myself in conversation with him. I was really starting to truly _know_ him. To understand him.

He told me about his favorite books, about the day he first came aboard _The Guardian_. He told me about his first time flying and about how proud his parents were when he finally got his pilot's license. He told me hated onions and that his first crush was on a girl named Lauren Mallory in the first grade. A crush that quickly faded after she broke his favorite box of crayons.

He said he didn't like rap and he wasn't very fond of country music either. He told me about the time he and Emmett got drunk and hid all of Alice's shoes in different places all over the ship when he was fifteen. He also told me about how much trouble they got in when she ratted them out for breaking into their dad's liquor cabinet.

I hung on his every word. I soaked up every piece he was willing to share of himself. Like how he loved being aboard so much he really didn't care about the normal things he had missed, like school dances and graduations. He felt privileged to be here.

And he was incredibly smart. Alice told me that he had always excelled in all of his work. Because they were home schooled, they could learn at their own pace. Edward was reading college level literature in the seventh grade.

Everything about him fascinated me. So many times I wanted to just blurt it all out and tell him, _"Edward, I love you. I would have adored kissing you in that damn closet. Please let me try again." _

Just the idea of those words even leaving my mouth had me blushing with embarrassment.

I could see in his eyes during our conversations that he was curious too. That he wanted to say something but held back. Several times he would break our comfortable silences and have my heart racing. Like just the other night in the radio room.

"_Bella?" he said quietly, a shy look over taking his features. "I...I uhh..."_

"_Yes?" His face flushed pink and he averted his eyes._

"_I uhh....I love that book." he said finally, defeat spread across his face as he looked down at the novel in my hands. "Rand is an excellent author."_

"_O-oh...yes, she's...she's great." I smiled weakly. As if sensing my disappointment, I heard him speak again. _

_This time he whispered. _

"_Bella?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_You look pretty today." he said, blushing again. Could he be more adorable? _

_I wore a perpetual grin all the way to bed._

We were both afraid that much was obvious. Was that because we were both feeling the same thing?

I couldn't lie to myself any longer. I _was_ in love with him.

And now I kept having these_ dreams_. These dreams that left me panting and heated when I finally woke. I hadn't been intimate with anyone but James. He had been my first.

When we had lived together, our sex life was without spark or flame. It wasn't horrendous, James was a ...._practiced_ lover and I was inexperienced with nothing to compare it to.

Not until these dreams. Dream Edward could take me higher than James _ever_ had.

Sex for him was about the instant gratification. He was detached and mechanical. I let it continue too long, praying that one day he would feel the love I felt for him. That he would truly see me, giving everything I had to him.

Often on nights after sleeping with him, I would find myself alone in bed. He didn't like to stay around too long afterwards. I always wondered if maybe it was me. Maybe I just wasn't sexy enough, or exciting enough.

I wished Edward could have been my first.

_God, Bella. In your dreams_.

I rose quickly from bed, shoving my thoughts from the forefront of my mind.

I grabbed my scarf and wrapped it loosely around my neck before following Alice to the mud room and throwing on some gear. I looked through the porthole window to the outside deck and groaned.

Alice was right to worry. It was _dangerous_ out there.

It was_ horrible_ out. Golf ball sized hail was pummeling the deck along with freezing rain. The wind was wrenching the boat tarps up from their ties on the ground, flapping wildly in the wind.

My heart jumped a little as I spotted Edward out there with Emmett, he was squinting against the vicious rain that was pelting them both. He had on his heaviest gear and I found myself praying it was keeping him warm enough.

His eyes caught mine as I opened the door and felt the freezing rain meet my face. His crooked grin was enough to make me forget the cold, even if for just a moment.

I knew then I had to tell him. Today.

I had lost two year of my life. Time was precious to me. In a month I had fallen in love with Edward Cullen. I wasn't going to waste any more time tip toeing around the subject or holding anything back.

And with a future of uncertainty staring me in the face, I didn't want to lose my chance. Today, when we were warm and safe back inside, I would tell him. All this fear couldn't hold me back anymore, because when it came down to it....I had nothing to lose. Nothing to lose and_ so much_ to gain.

Alice held my hand tightly as we carefully navigated the deck, the wind screeching and pushing against us with incredible force. I was using all of my body strength to keep myself and Alice from falling onto the slippery deck.

We had to shout to hear each other over the wind.

"Bella! Over here!" I looked to see Edward shouting towards us. He and Emmett were struggling, trying to tie down a zodiac craft on the port side of the ship.

Alice and I made our way over to them, managing not to fall. I worked quickly, tying down the loose ends tightly. Even though my hands were gloved securely, I could feel my finger tips starting to numb with the cold. I put my hands together, blowing into them to keep them warm.

Mike Newton came to my side, tying off the corners of the zodiac.

"Hey, Bella!" he grinned. "Nice weather we're havin' eh?"

His attempt at humor was especially pathetic today. I turned and gave him a curt nod and a tight, polite smile, not wanting to offend him. I continued blowing warm air into my cupped hands, my teeth beginning to chatter. Mike opened his mouth to speak again, but stopped when Edward came to my side.

He covered both my freezing hands in his, rubbing them for friction until I could feel heat and feeling return to my fingers. He grinned at me as he did this, and I couldn't help but be struck by how _beautiful _he was.

A dark beanie was covering his usual mess of bronze hair, pulled down to keep his ears warm. His hood was pulled up and his scarf was bundled tightly around his neck and mouth. His face was wet with the rain, and his cheeks and nose were pink with the cold.

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

"Are you sure you're warm enough?" he asked. I grinned up at him.

"I am now." I replied, blushing scarlet. I was still brushing up on my flirting techniques. It had been a while. But Edward made it easy.

He laughed loudly and squeezed my hand again. When his laughter died, a look of adoration remained in his eyes as he observed my face. It was like he was committing me to memory.

Suddenly he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. His nose was cold and his lips were wet with rain...but his kiss left my flesh searing hot.

"You're amazing, Bella." he said, shifting on his feet slightly, looking embarrassed and shy.

I couldn't take it anymore. My heart swelled so big I thought it might burst.

"Edward....I have to tell you something..." I shouted over the rain.

He looked worried for a moment, stopping to move a piece of my wet hair from my cheek.

"Bella...what's wrong?" he shouted in response.

Just as I was about to assure him that _nothing_ was wrong and everything was _right_, because I _loved_ him, I heard Emmett roar over the wind.

"EDWARD!"

We both turned to see Emmett pointing up to the radar equipment. The equipment they had set up on top of second deck, one of the higher points on the ship. We watched helplessly as the wind snapped its console and it came careening down with a loud smash on the deck, breaking into several pieces.

"Dammit!" I heard Edward curse as he rushed over to the mess of machinery that had landed close to the side of the boat, and in between the zodiac and the guard rail.

Everything that happened next...happened in terrifying slow motion.

My feet were stuck in their place as shock over took me. I could do nothing but scream over the wind, trying desperately to warn him....

"EDWARD!!! MOVE!!!"

His piercing green eyes found mine as I reached towards him. Realization and fear struck his expression.

But there was no time. It was too late. It all happened too fast.

The knots that Mike had tied on the corner of the zodiac came loose, flapping in the wind. The pull of the wind on the tarp tugged his line of knots free one by one, letting loose the back side of the zodiac.

As _The Guardian _lurched with the oncoming waves, the entire zodiac squealed loudly against the deck as its back end slammed into Edward.

I screamed as I watched the force of the hit send Edward over the rails, his form disappearing over the side.

My heart stopped beating. I couldn't wrap my head around it. _ He was just there_. Just a second ago. And now he was gone.

_No, no, no, no, NO!!! _

I heard people screaming around me as I raced to the rails, looking down in the dark, icy water to see Edward breaking the surface, arms flailing in the zero degree water.

_No. This isn't happening. I can't lose him. I just found him_.

I will **not** lose him.

I snapped into action. I turned quickly to find the life preserve, wrenching it from its holder.

"Alice!" I snapped. She was screaming and crying, leaning over the side.

"EDWARD!" she yelled. I needed her attention. Now. Yanking her to face me, I yelled over the wind.

"How much time!?" She seemed to catch her breath and let herself fall into action beside me.

"W-we have four minutes until he will be too numb to swim. We need to get him out within ten. Fifteen at the most."

We worked together to frantically unravel the life line, helped by Jasper and Emmett. The ship pitched beneath us, sending us sprawling onto the deck. My knees hit the wooden floor painfully hard, my elbows crashing down as well.

I was _numb_ to it. Jumping to my feet and hitting the rail, I threw the life preserver out to him.

"He's not moving!" I heard Jasper scream. I watched as Edward's flailing reach for the life line became slow and his movements became less frantic.

"He's losing feeling of his limbs!" Jasper shouted. "He can't grasp the life line! If we don't get him out now he could go into cardiac arrest!"

_NO_.

"EDWARD!" I screamed, a sob erupting from my throat. "EDWARD, _PLEASE_!!!"

He was losing consciousness, his head beginning to slip under...

He couldn't hear me. Not over the howling wind and the waves crashing around him.

Emmett reeled in the life line to try and give it another throw, hoping it would land closer to Edward.

But I knew it wouldn't make a difference. Edward wouldn't be able grasp it. And it was obvious he was slowly losing consciousness.

Before I could let despair consume me, or fear stop me, I turned to Emmett and grabbed the life line, securing it around my waist. I had no time to stop or think. I had to do it. Now.

"As soon as I have him, you pull." I shouted sternly, thrusting the line into his hands.

"What? Bella...." his face contorted when he finally understood the meaning of my words. "_BELLA, NO_!"

I blocked out his voice as my foot found the guard rail and I launched myself off of _The Guardian_ and directly towards Edward.

I had four minutes to get to him and secure us both to the line before my limbs would lose feeling and we would both be dead.

I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut as the dark water approached...

Hitting the icy waves was like hitting _concrete_. The force of it coupled with the immense cold had me paralyzed for at least ten seconds, submerged under the surface.

Icy daggers stabbed my body, the breath I had been holding had been knocked from my lungs. I felt disoriented as I choked my way to the surface. I gulped in a huge breath of air as I broke through the waves. The air filling my lungs hurt just as much as the water as it stung my throat with cold. I felt like I was swallowing cold steel blades. My eyes stung with the salty ocean water.

_Edward_.

I flailed wildly in the water, searching for him. I had to find him. I knew in my gut that if I didn't...If I lost him....I would never be the same.

I heard shouts from the ship high above me. Emmett was screaming at the top of his lungs. But I couldn't understand their words.

_Four minutes, Bella. Hurry up_.

I finally spotted Edward. As soon as I recognized his form I kicked my legs as hard as I could, and fought the icy waves to get to him. It was harder than it looked from up top. The force of the ocean was something I never usually underestimated.

Until now. When I jumped I didn't think of how hard it would be. Somehow I had it in my head that love would part the damn sea...but I knew now I had to fight harder.

Adrenaline over took me and I kicked with all I had, stroking faster through the water to get to him. The cold in my limbs had become searing pain. I pushed through it.

There was no giving up. There was no turning back.

I finally got close enough to see him clearly now.

He was blue.

His eyes were fluttering as he tried to keep his head above the surface. He was fighting for consciousness. His lips, like mine, were shaking with the cold.

"E-Edward!" I barely had the strength to gasp his name. I felt the feeling in my legs begin to disappear. Panicking, I pushed myself harder towards him until finally my arms and legs wrapped around him tightly.

Just as I told him to, I felt the life line go taught as Emmett began to yank us upward.

"E-Edward, st-stay w-with me. T-try and h-hold on to m-me." I wrapped around his body as tightly as I could and prepared myself for the painful lift upwards. The life line had ridden up around my still tender ribs and was now supporting more than just my weight. The tube dug into me painfully. Thankfully the freezing cold was taking away some of the bite.

"B-bella?" I heard Edward say my name and my heart fluttered to life. His face was buried in my neck and I could feel him trembling.

"I'm here, Edward... I-I love you.... I'm here..."

I looked down to see his eyes were closed. He was out of it. I knew he hadn't heard me but I couldn't go another second without telling him. The life line gave another lurch as Emmett hauled us up to the side.

"Quick! Grab her arms!" I heard Emmett shout. "Jasper, I got Edward, go get the stretcher..."

I felt hands tugging me over the side of the guard rail and onto the deck. I didn't let go of Edward until I knew Emmett had him. I felt Alice wrap her arms around me to help me stand. My legs were like rubber, I couldn't feel them. I was shaking like a leaf. I had only been in the water for a total of about 3 minutes. Edward had been in for 8 at least.

I saw Emmett throw Edward's unmoving body over his shoulder and race inside after Jasper. I couldn't quite feel my legs but I launched myself toward them, trying to follow. Alice called Rose over and they both helped me inside.

"A-Alice, is h-he going to b-be okay?"

"I don't know, Bella. But thanks to you he has a fighting chance."

We bust through the sick bay doors, I was anxious to see Edward. But Jasper had Emmett and now Carlisle in the room, moving quickly around him, using warm wet towels on Edward's chest and neck and head.

Jasper was using warm, humidified oxygen on Edward, administering it through a face mask. They had stripped off Edward's gear and clothes. Covering him with blankets and more warm towels. Jasper was shouting instructions as they moved carefully and quickly around Edward.

I couldn't make out all of his words as he instructed Alice on how to care for me. How to return heat to my body. I could only see Edward, pale and blue, looking as though he was at death's door.

I felt hot tears on my cheeks. "E-Edward..."

Alice hushed me gently and took me to a separate room, stripping me of my clothes and helping me dry off. I was only suffering mild hypothermia which was easy to treat. All I needed were some dry clothes and warm blankets.

The heat that returned to my body was welcomed but extremely painful. It made my limbs ache and feel heavy. Alice patched up my bloody knees and elbows from my fall on the deck.

She had me in dry, warm clothes in no time, throwing blankets around my shoulders and rubbing my arms, trying to get the heat back into my body. She used her blow dryer to try and get the moisture out of my hair, which was mostly frozen.

When the noise of the blow dryer stopped humming in my ears, I hear Alice whimpering.

"A-Alice...w-why are you crying?" I panicked, thinking maybe she knew more about Edward's condition than she was telling me. It frightened me.

I was surprised when Alice threw her arms around me and hugged me close.

"Oh, Bella. I thought I was going to lose you both!" she sobbed. "You can't do that to me again. Ever!"

I hugged her back as hard as I could and cried with her. The emotions of the day reeking havoc on my tear ducts.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

We waited for a what seemed like hours outside Edward's room. I couldn't sleep or eat without seeing him. The waiting was so emotional. I felt everything tenfold, waiting for Edward to be okay.

Esme and Carlisle had both come out and wrapped me in warm hugs, each one of them leaking tears and thanking me profusely.

"You are so_ brave_, Bella." Esme cried. "I thought he wouldn't come home to us today. I thought we'd lost him."

I paused for a moment, studying the two beautiful people in front of me. My response was simple truth.

"He is my home."

Unable to explain myself or reason with the words that had left my mouth. Esme gave me a beautiful smile and embraced me again. She gave Carlisle an adoring look before looking back at me.

She knew. Mother's aren't stupid. She _knew_ I loved her son.

Another hour passed in an agonizingly slow fashion before Jasper came out of the swinging doors.

"Bella, how are you feeling?" he said, checking my pupils and taking my blood pressure like a good doctor.

"Fine." I said quickly. "Can I see him?" I was anxious.

Jasper sighed, smiling slightly. "Of course. He's sleeping now. And he's stable."

He held the door open for me. Just as I passed, he touched my shoulder.

"You saved his life, Bella." he said softly. "If you hadn't had the courage or presence of mind to do what you did...he'd wouldn't be here right now."

The thought of Edward not being here...not..._existing_ anymore. I couldn't take it.

"Before he fell asleep, he was asking for you. He just keep saying your name over and over again." Jasper said, shaking me from my dismal thoughts. I couldn't hide the smile that cracked on my lips. Jasper grinned at me and nodded forward, giving me permission to go inside.

I took a deep breath and approached slowly, wrapped my blanket tighter around my shoulders as I found a seat beside the bed.

Edward's face was still pale and frighteningly still. The oxygen mask was secure around his mouth and nose, providing him with the humidified oxygen that was helping warm his lungs.

His arms were laying on top of the blankets and his legs were slightly visible as well. Jasper said it was important to warm his limbs slowly, that it could cause after shock if warmed to quickly.

I was silent as I let my eyes run over his form. Up his arms, over his bare shoulders. I blushed a little as I realized he was _naked_ beneath all of these blankets.

Very slowly, very carefully, I reached out a shaking hand to find his. His was still icy cold to the touch.

He stirred in his sleep just slightly as my fingers wrapped around his. I held my breath as I watched his brow crease in his sleep and his face turn towards me in his subconscious.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled my chair up closer to the bed. The need to touch him, to be close to him, overwhelming me.

I bit my lip, nervous I would wake him as the chair squeaked a little against the floor. I hesitated twice before letting my hand trace his cheek. My fingers featherlight and careful danced across his skin and then through his hair.

I heard his breathing change and I froze. He was starting to wake up. I sat back in my chair and wrapped my blanket even tighter around me. It was holding me together. I didn't know I could feel this much at once.

When his eyes finally fluttered open, I wanted to cry and laugh and scream and throw my arms around him all at once.

I felt tears on my cheeks and a grin on my face as his beautiful green eyes met mine. These were tears of joy. I was so happy. _So happy_. He was awake. He was breathing. He was looking at me.

He was _smiling_.

It was a sleepy smile. A smile filled with adoration.

I cleared my throat, trying to pull myself together.

"How are you feeling?" I finally choked out.

Edward took a deep breath from his mask before taking it off.

"Cold." he answered with a laugh. I watched, unsure of how to help, as he lifted himself up into a sitting position, wincing in pain the entire time. He finally settled against his pillows, shivering slightly.

I rose to my feet and found one of Jasper's sweaters lying on a stool near his desk. I grabbed it and quickly brought it to Edward, who smiled in gratitude, throwing it on over his head.

I made to sit down on my stool again, but Edward caught my hand. He pulled me gently to the side of his bed. I sat down facing him.

His smiling eyes became serious as he looked at me.

"You...you _jumped_, Bella." he breathed quietly. I nodded dumbly in response. This would be a perfect time to reply with, _"Because I love you." _But I couldn't form words. I was too overwhelmed with this sense of relief and joy that he was sitting here in front of me. Alive.

"Why did you do that?" he seemed frustrated with me. Before I could answer him appropriately, he continued. "You could have _died_. Are you okay? Did they take care of you? Are you warm enough?"

"I-I'm fine, Edward." I assured him, swiftly stopping his rambling.

He was quiet for a moment, picking up my hands in his. He finally met my gaze again. His eyes were glassy with emotion. He was clenching his jaw and clearing his throat.

"I thought that was it. I was done..." he said, pausing to control the shaking in his voice. "But then I heard your voice, Bella. You...you were there beside me."

We stared at each other for what seemed like minutes, our expressions that of pure love and joy before he spoke again.

"Bella..."

"Yes?"

"I love you too."

My breath caught in my throat.

"Y-you heard me?" I covered my mouth with my hand, my face flushed red. He took the hand resting on my lips and lowered it from my face, leaning closer to me.

"Yes," he breathed. "If it wasn't for the freezing cold, I would have thought I was already dead. That _you_ were my heaven."

His hand reached up to cup my face tenderly.

"I _love_ you, Isabella." he said again, voice barely above a whisper. I felt his warm breath on my face as we leaned closer to each other. I closed my eyes, feeling his nose touch mine gently, his lips grazing mine softly.

They were warm and sweet as they moved against mine. I lifted my hands to his chest and neck, feel his pulse racing just as fast as mine. His tongue traced my bottom lip, sending shock waves through my body. I let mine meet his. Warmth over took me.

This was _way_ better than my dreams.

Our mouths were made for each other. We drank each other in. If oxygen wasn't necessary, I would have continued kissing Edward until the sun came up and then some.

But breath was necessary and we reluctantly broke apart. Edward places small kisses on my cheeks and nose, gazing at me lovingly.

"I love you too, Edward." I said. "So much."

He rested his forehead against mine as he whispered, "Stay."

I nodded, laying down beside him on top of his comforter and pulling my blanket up over us both. I hoped my body heat would help warm him. I nuzzled my face against his neck, placing kisses there and hearing him hum in appreciation as he wrapped his arms around me.

Sleep came easily to us now that we were tangled in each other's arms. My heart rested easily beside his. After a day that had nearly broken it, after years that had torn and abused it, I knew now, it was finally whole again.

**I think that was my longest chapter yet! I hope you guys are happy with it. All the cold water survival stuff is true. More good research came to my aid on this one. I considered making you guys wait a little longer for the first kiss, but then I realized **_**I **_**couldn't wait any longer! There is no time like the present to tell someone you love them. No day but today.**

***Sigh* Love wins. **

**Keep stickin with me! There is SO much left to this story! Please review and let me know what you think!!!!**

**Peace &Love**

**Hippie**


	13. Heaven

**Sorry for the wait my friends, I just got back from out of town. No fear, I've returned! And I will be putting up another chapter as soon as I can. :)**

**I'm going to take it easy with this chapter. I think our lovely characters could use some down time from the adventure for the moment before the plot picks up again. So here is a little EPOV for you. I'm rewinding a bit so we can see the fall in his eyes. **

**I know some people think that this can be repetitive so I tried to add some scenes that we missed having only Bella's POV. In the end...I don't really care haha... I wanted to write this through Edward's eyes. So there. ;)**

**EPOV**

"_EDWARD!!! MOVE!!!"_

I heard Bella's screams over the howling wind and my eyes found hers through the rain and hail. The horror I saw on her face made my chest tighten.

My breath caught at I followed her vision the the zodiac that was now careening towards me with a loud screech.

There wasn't time to react. I was too late. I knew then I was going to be hit. I tried to find my feet and brace myself for the impact I knew was coming.

_Slam_.

The wind was knocked from my lungs as the water craft smashed into me. I had expected to be able to withstand the force of the impact. I thought maybe the worst that would happen was that I would end up pinned against the rails and my big lug of a brother would have to lift the craft off of me.

So when the rails disappeared behind me and my feet left the ground, my heart stopped, paralyzed by fear. Even Emmett couldn't save me now.

There was nothing to grab on to, no where to go. I could only wait for the icy waves to swallow me.

And they did.

As soon as I felt the water slam into my back, I knew it was useless to even try and take a breath. The incredible cold stole air from me in a instant as soon as I was submerged.

In that moment it felt like the entire world stopped moving. I was suspended, floating beneath the waves, looking up at the sky, at the shadow of my father's ship on the water.

Was this it? Was this how I was destined to meet my end?

I knew only seconds were passing but it felt like whole minutes.

I felt pain seize my limbs like a thousand knives.

I knew my chances. I knew there wasn't much that could be done for me.

I waited for my life to flash before my eyes, but it never happened. Instead I saw fragments of the life that_ could_ have been, all the things I still wanted to do, still had to accomplish.

But more than anything else, I saw Bella's sweet face.

_Bella, Bella, Bella_.... My mind repeated its mantra.

The buoyancy of my body finally lifted me to the surface where I inhaled a sharp, painful breath. I had to keep my head above water. I had to breathe. I had to do _something_.

Bella's face flashed again in my mind and I began to move my arms and legs, desperate to stay afloat. I couldn't give up. Not just yet.

I could hear screams from the ship's rail up above me. I could hear the low tones of Emmett's bellowing shouts but I couldn't make out what he was saying. I was starting to choke on the icy water.

First it was my feet. The tingling sensation was unbearable. It was as if I was being pricked by hundreds of tiny needles. I was losing function of my lower limbs.

Panic gripped me. I didn't have very long now. Time was running out.

The stormy water was having its way with me as I was trying to tread with just my arms. I felt the tremors of severe cold take over my body and my vision was beginning to blur.

I heard a faint splash a few yards away from me and turned to see the life preserver bobbing in the waves. My eyes blurred as I tried to focus on it, to reach for it. But now I couldn't even flex my fingers.

Darkness crept into the corners of my vision. I leaned back in the water, hoping I would be able to float enough to keep my head from going under.

So this _was_ it. I was done.

This was unfair. So fucking unfair. I clenched my jaw hard as I thought of Bella's deep brown eyes. All the things I wanted to say to her. The ways I would have touched her. The ways I would have held her, kissed her, loved her.

I was beginning to lose consciousness when I heard her voice.

"E-Edward!" came a strained sob. My chest swelled as I heard her speak. I knew I was hallucinating. Or maybe I was closer to heaven than I thought.

_Please, God. Stop torturing me and just take me already_.

But then I felt a her small form wrap around me tightly, shaking just as hard as I was.

"E-Edward, st-stay w-with me. T-Try and h-hold on to m-me..."

I felt her words hum in my ears. I felt her breath on my neck. I felt her arms and legs latch themselves to me tightly. I felt the heavy weight of my soaked, immobile lower body as it began to rise from the water.

Was this what it felt like when a soul left its body?

"B-Bella?" My lips moved against her wet collarbone. If this was heaven, why was she so cold? Why was she trembling and crying? Angels don't cry.

"I'm here, Edward...I- I love you...I'm here..."

I let the exhaustion take over me. Burying my face in her neck I let go, the sounds around me began to fade. The feel of the rain began to disappear. 

_I_ disappeared.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

"Carlisle, can you hand me that blanket over there?" I heard Jasper's voice echo in the darkness of my mind.

_Hmm...that's funny._ I love Jasper....but he was definitely not the first person I expected to meet in heaven.

And another thing....why the hell was I _still_ so fucking cold!?

"Will these be enough?" I heard my father's voice respond.

"Yes that should do. I can't warm his limbs just yet, not until his temperature rises a little more at least."

"Looks like our boy is out of the woods." Emmett's voice joined them.

"He'll be weak for a couple days, but he is well on his way to a full recovery." Jasper confirmed.

Recovery? _Recovery_. Recovery! I was _alive_!

"I'll go let Esme and Bella know." said my father.

_Bella_.

"Did he just...?"

_Bella_.

"Did he say Bella?"

"He's coming to..."

My eyes rolled lazily in my head until finally I could force them open. It took me a moment to focus but soon enough I saw Jazz and Emmett staring at me with wide eyes.

I could feel my teeth chatter as I said her name again. I needed to see her. I needed to know what the hell happened.

"Bella....Jazz I n-need Bella...."

I tried to sit up but my body had no strength left.

"Easy, man. You and Bella both need your rest. Alice is taking care of her right now..."

"Bella...s-she was there....in the water..." I could barely make out words. Confusion warped my expression. Had I dreamt that?

"I know man, she _was_ there. You couldn't grab the life preserver...we thought you were lost....Bella _jumped_, Edward." I looked up at him, shock and disbelief etched across both of our faces. "She fucking jumped in and _carried _you while we pulled you both in....it was...incredible..."

I couldn't believe it.

"Bella..."

"I know, I know. I'll go and check on her in a little while and then send her in. But I need you to sleep. You have to relax with this humidified oxygen, let it bring your temperature back to normal."

"Bella..."

"_Rest,_ Edward."

I couldn't fight with him anymore as my eyelids drooped and I took a deep breath of warm air from the mask. I was delirious with exhaustion and so many thoughts of Bella.

She _jumped_. She jumped for _me_. She _was_ there. And she told me she loved me.

She _loved _me!

Even though I was unable to stay awake any longer, I fell asleep with the biggest shit-eating grin on my face and my heart on _fire_.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

It wasn't until what felt like hours later that I felt a tiny hand wrap itself around mine and a soft touch on my cheek.

Gentle fingers caressed my jaw and traveled up to my hair. I could feel how close this person was. Warmth radiated from their body.

I finally forced my weary eyes open and there she was. _Bella_.

She was wrapped tightly in a fleece blanket, her hair, still damp, cascading down her shoulders. Her big brown eyes were filled with tears and she was grinning from ear to ear. I watched the moisture roll down her cheeks and I could do nothing but smile at her.

She _was_ an angel.

She cleared her throat and blushed, embarrassment written in her eyes.

"How are you feeling?" she asked in that sweet, low voice.

I inhaled deeply from the oxygen mask before removing it.

"Cold." I answered with a chuckle. Using what strength I had left, I hoisted myself upward so I could sit back on my pillows, hissing at my aching muscles. The blanket fell from my bare chest as I did so, bringing on a whole new round of shivers.

Bella rushed to take care of me, finding me a sweater and bringing it over to the bed. I yanked it on over my head, anxious to feel its warmth, wondering if I would ever feel warm again.

Bella started for the stool beside my bed, but I could let her get too far from me. She was too far away already. So instead I grabbed her hand and led her to the side of my bed where she sat down, a beautiful blush adorning her cheeks.

My smile faded as I remembered the serious danger she had put herself in. "You...you _jumped_, Bella."

She nodded simply in response.

I couldn't believe that she had risked it all. For _me_. She could have _died._ She could have been seriously injured. She put herself in harms way. She couldn't do that anymore. Not for me. I wouldn't see her hurt. I couldn't.

"Why did you do that?" I said, frustrated that she would willingly jump into arctic water without thought. Don't get me wrong, I was so thankful to be alive and sitting here with her. But I wasn't worth it. She should have let me go.

If anything happened to her because of me...I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

I looked her over carefully. She shivered slightly under my gaze. Her hair was still wet and her face was strikingly pale. "You could have _died_. Are you okay? Did they take care of you? Are you warm enough?"

"I-I'm fine Edward." she said, cutting off my rambling. She looked sad. She was holding something back. She bit her lip...she was nervous?

Then I remembered her words as we were lifted to safety...

"_I'm here, Edward...I-I love you....I'm here.._."

That was _real_. I hadn't _dreamt_ that.

I took her small hands in mine suddenly overwhelmed with how much I was feeling all at once.

She had _jumped_ for me.

Because she loved me.

She_ loved_ me.

"I thought that was it. I was done..." I said, lost in those deep brown pools. "But then I heard your voice, Bella. You...you were there beside me."

I knew now I could say the words I had held back this past month. I had been afraid to scare her away. I had caught myself several times trying to tell her. In the radio room or at breakfast. But I stopped myself every time, making some lame ass comment about the book she was reading or the way her hair looked.

She made it so easy to love her. Thats why it had been so hard to hold it back.

But now that I knew she loved me...that she felt this too...

I wasn't wasting anymore time.

"Bella?"

"Yes?" she whispered.

"I love you too."

Her eyes snapped up to mine, wide and bewildered. But there was joy there. Hesitant joy.

"Y-you heard me?" she gasped, covering her mouth in shock, blushing scarlet.

"Yes," I whispered. "If it wasn't for the freezing cold I would have thought I was already dead. That _you_ were my heaven."

_You __**are**__ my heaven_.

I couldn't go any longer without kissing her. And it was better than anything I had ever imagined. Better than any dream I had had of her in the last few weeks.

It was like our mouths had been made to correspond. It was fucking _perfection_ the way our lips moved. I couldn't get enough of her.

Her lips, full and warm, molded perfectly to my own. Even when we had to pull away for lack of oxygen, I couldn't stop kissing her...her cheeks....her nose.

"I love you too, Edward." she breathed. "So much."

I rested my forehead against her, still breathing her in, noticing the joy pooling in the form of tears in her eyes. There was no way in hell I was letting her go any time soon.

"Stay." I begged.

And she did.

And here I was now. Waking from a deep sleep with her in my arms. Skin still tingling from her kisses on my jaw and neck.

I looked down to see Bella's beautiful face resting on my chest, her hand over my heart. I took a moment to appreciate the look on her face. This past month had been an emotional one, a stressful one.

To see her beside me now, so peaceful and serene...it was stunning.

She hadn't so much as moved in the few hours we were asleep. There were no nightmares, no tossing and turning. When she did stir, she would only mumble my name.

I couldn't even begin to describe what it felt like when she uttered, "_Edward._" And nuzzled her nose into my chest.

She was still beside me now. Her legs had tangled themselves with mine.

It was amazing really, that mere hours ago I had wondered if I would ever feel warm again. And here I was, perfectly content. Bella created perfect warmth curled into my side. I never wanted to move.

I took a deep breath, letting air into my lungs slowly as my throat still burned. Bella's head of brown curls rose with my chest and I thought for a second I saw her smile.

She pressed her cheek closer against my body and I watched as her hands slid down my side, across my abdomen and wrapped themselves around my waist. She inhaled deeply before her eye lashes began to flutter.

And suddenly there were two gorgeous brown eyes staring up at me. I watched her perfect pink lips form a brilliant, sleepy smile.

"Hey" I whispered.

"Hi" she replied with a grin.

She winced slightly as she pulled herself up so she could lay on her side facing me. I rolled over to face her as well, hissing as I did so. My muscles were screaming at me. I heard her chuckling beside me.

"Look at us..." she giggled, gently pulling her blanket closer and groaning slightly as she moved. We were both so incredibly sore.

I couldn't take my eyes away from her. She was mine. She loved me.

"Yeah..." I said breathlessly, memorizing her face. "Look at us."

Her eyes softened as she looked at me. Our noses were inches apart and our expressions were matching. We looked at each other in complete awe and utter joy. I had never felt this way before in my life.

Without another word I kissed her. I needed to feel her lips on mine. The sweet smell of her skin and her hair enveloped me. My hands found her hips and pulled her closer to me.

I knew then that I would never get enough of kissing Bella. It was like I was fucking _born_ just to kiss her. The taste of her on my tongue was intoxicating. Her hair was like silk in my hands. The sweet pressure of her mouth against mine was just too much.

I had never been so thankful to be alive in my entire life.

I felt Bella's tiny hands on my face, pulling me even closer to her and traveling down along my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

As I kissed her and held her I was completely overwhelmed. I wanted to cry and laugh at the same fucking time.

_Jesus. I'm turning into a chick_.

We both finally pulled away, panting for air. I was searching her eyes, now filled her tears as she looked at me. Those eyes traveled over my face lovingly as she ran her hand through my hair and kissed me softly once more.

"You don't know how scared I was, Edward," she said quietly, her lower lip quivering. "Don't you dare leave me like that again. I can't - I can't..."

Her expression and her voice broke as she began to cry. I couldn't help myself as I kissed the tears from her cheeks, tasting her wet skin.

"Bella...you brought me back to life." I told her. "_Long_ before I fell in that water. I'm not strong enough to stay away from you. I could _never_ leave you."

I meant it.

I needed her to believe me. I could see deep in those eyes that there was still so much there I didn't know about her past, her pain. There was still so much healing to do.

I wouldn't let her do it alone. I'd never let her feel alone again. I pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her and cradling the back of her head.

There was a soft knock at the door that pulled us from our own little world, but not from each other's arms. I didn't care who the hell it was at the door, I wasn't letting her go.

Even if I was pretty much naked under the thermal blankets.

_Thank God Bella wasn't under the thermals with me, or else I'd have a real hard time hiding exactly what it was she had the power to do to me_.

Alice poked her head around the door frame, squealing with delight as she spotted us and skipping over to the bed. Before I knew she had thrown her arms around both of us and was trying to squeeze the air out of our lungs.

I could feel her shaking with happy tears.

"A-Aliceee..." I gasped. "Oxygennnn..."

"OH! Sorry!" she said, finally letting us go. Her eyes darted between the two of us. Bella was blushing a scarlet red.

"Alice..." I growled in warning.

"What!" she whined. "You're ALIVE! Both of you!"

Jasper entered not far behind her. He quirked an eyebrow at me but showed no signs of surprise that Bella and I were tangled together. My parents entered soon after him, along with Em and Rose.

No surprise on their faces either. _Well damn. I guess I really am that transparent_.

Bella tensed next to me and made to move. I almost groaned out loud as she sat up slowly, her face still burning crimson. I heard Bella suck in a pained breath as she moved.

"Please, Bella." My mother said. "It's quite alright, please rest." Her voice was loving and soft.

"Look at those cheeks!" Emmett laughed.

I growled at my brother only to cause another round of his bellowing laughter. Bella had her hands on her cheeks.

I watched as my father gently made his way over to her and slowly took her hands in his, taking them away from her face. I could see from the look in his eye that he had something to say to her. And from the softness in his face, I knew it would be said with love.

Relieved, I leaned back on my pillows, rubbing circles on Bella's back and she sat in front of me and faced my father.

"Bella," he said in his soft, caring voice. "You'll have to excuse my oldest." he laughed as Emmett scoffed behind him.

Carlisle focused on Bella again and spoke with sincerity.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Nothing makes us happier than knowing that our son is _truly loved_. And after today, I don't think any one of us can ever doubt your love again. And I hope you never doubt how much we love _you_ in return, Bella."

I felt Bella suck in a shaky breath before throwing her arms around my dad and squeezing tightly. Dad gave me a peaceful smile and hugged her back. Esme did the same, followed by the rest of my family. My heart swelled in my chest as I watched them all. She fit so perfectly here.

When Emmett wrapped his bear arms around Bella, Jasper jumped to make sure he didn't hold her too tight.

"Careful her ribs, Em!"

Em slowed his movements and settled for a kiss on Bella's cheek.

The family stayed a while longer with us. My parents couldn't keep their hands off me, hugging me and kissing me. Alice was a squeaky mess.

Eventually the sky outside filled with stars and Alice insisted she find Bella some warm pajamas. I groaned as she pulled Bella away from me.

"Oh shut up and put some pants on. You can't hog her _all_ day. Bella needs a good night's rest in her own bed and so do you."

I saw Bella blush at the mention of my lack of pants, a grin creeping up her face.

"Edward, you both need some serious rest." Jasper said, coming to Alice's side.

Bella looked at me with a sad apologetic smile and followed Alice out the door.

_Damn pixie_.

Jasper helped me to my feet so I could take a shower and get dressed. The hot water did wonders for my muscles and this time I made sure to get out before the cold water hit.

He brought me some clean pajamas, a plain white cotton t-shirt and some flannel pajama pants before letting me return to my own room. I opened the door to find Emmett throwing on a sweater and heading out the opposite direction. He winked at me.

"See you in the morning little brother." he said, taking off in the direction of Rose's room.

I laughed and walked stiffly to my bed, sinking down into it and pulling the covers to my chest.

I was consumed with thoughts of Bella and this overwhelming feeling that I couldn't wait to wake up and see her tomorrow morning. It seemed like hours passed and I couldn't shut off my brain. I was physically exhausted, but I couldn't seem to close my eyes.

_I didn't even get to kiss her before Alice took her away dammit_.

The creak of my door startled me and as if someone had heard my thoughts, there she was.

There was Bella - my Bella - tip toeing in the dark around the large wooden door. Her back was turned towards me as she tried to close it without sound.

My eyes drank her in. She wore a long sleeved shirt that was far to big on her small frame. It's sleeves fell past her hands and her bare shoulder was exposed on her right side. I recognized the hole in the left sleeve and realized it was _my_ shirt she was wearing.

Her loose cotton pajama pants were disheveled and rode up on one side as though she were tossing and turning in bed. Standing on toes, the moonlight fell on the smooth curve of her calf. She was perfect.

She turned slowly and let out a little yelp as she realized I was awake. I laughed as she clutched her chest and caught her breath, her smile wide as she saw me.

She had one arm wrapped carefully around her middle as she made her way to my bed. I shifted over and lifted the covers for her as she climbed in beside me, wincing all the while and never taking her arm from around her mid section.

"Bella are you alright?" She nodded.

"Just a little sore." she shrugged. She smiled but I could see in her eyes she was trying to placate me.

"Let me see?" I asked quietly, placing a gentle hand over her abdomen.

She tensed for a moment, her arms tightening just slightly around herself. Her eyes searched mine and I could see her give in. Closing her eyes she let go.

I had to work to keep my breathing in check as I found the hem of her shirt. I had dreamed of undressing Bella before, but not like this. Now I was afraid of the damage done to her well being. Damage done because of me.

My finger tips grazed bare, smooth porcelain skin and I heard Bella suck in a breath. I looked up to her eyes to see her watching me. There were many emotions on in those pools of brown. There was trust, love...and was that....was that _lust_?

I tried to steady myself as I lifted her shirt. What I saw nearly knocked me over with guilt.

"Jesus _Christ_, Bella..." I breathed. Her upper abdomen was a smattering of purples and blues. I could see the distant marks left from the life preserver that had cut into her as she carried my weight. It was my fault. It was all my fault.

"Hey...hey..." she whispered, her hand finding my face and bringing my eyes to hers. "I'm alright. It's not a big deal...."

"It _is_ a big deal, Bella. To_ me_ it's a big deal." I said. My fingers left feather light touches on her skin as I spoke. "This is my fault. You were carrying me. You shouldn't hav-"

"Stop." Bella's fingers were on my lips. Her eyes were fierce even in the dark. "You have to listen to me, Edward."

I nodded, never tearing my eyes away from hers. Though, nothing she could say could take away the guilt I felt. She should have left me. She should have just let me go. She would have never gotten hurt. I wasn't worth this.

Even though we had only known each other a short time, Bella knew me well. For she quickly addressed these exact thoughts.

"You can't tell me that I shouldn't have jumped." she said firmly, placing a hand on my cheek. "Because I would do it all over again, Edward."

She placed a small kiss on my nose, our faces mere inches away.

"So please," she whispered. "Let go of this. Bruises go away, trust me. I don't want anything but to love you. Don't let unreasonable guilt get in the way of that. Please?"

I couldn't argue with her or the tenderness in her voice as she touched me. I kissed her reverently. She really was an angel. I didn't deserve her.

"I love you, Isabella."

"I love you too..."

She placed her lips against my neck sweetly before burying herself in my covers and curling into my side.

I had never been a religious person, but tonight...I was thanking God over and over and over again.

**So yeah. Nice little fluff chapter. Plot picks up again next chapter. Stick with me loves :) Sooooo much left to see!**


	14. Time

**I've had a bit of writer's block recently, but never fear....I'm not one to easily give up. I WILL be finishing this story. I promise. Don't write me off just yet :) Hope this chapter isn't a disappointment. **

**BPOV**

I don't think I have ever slept so peacefully in my entire life. I felt my brain hum to life as my senses began to focus but I couldn't open my eyes yet. I didn't want to move from this moment. It was a small moment. But it was significant nonetheless.

I smiled to myself as I thought about my life at this very second.

I wasn't sleeping on a lumpy pile of life jackets. My stomach wasn't growling ferociously at me. I had clean clothes on. The ceiling wasn't leaking. There wasn't cold seeping through my bones. There was a window to my left where I could see the dark, early morning sky.

And the pale blue light streaming from it was trickling over the broad, bare shoulders of the most handsome man I had ever laid eyes on.

The man who loved me. The man with his arms wrapped around me like an unshakable fortress of protection and love. The man who was teaching me how to trust again.

I opened my eyes as my thoughts came to rest on Edward. I wanted to see him.

_Jesus he is beautiful_.

I wiped the sleep from my eyes and let them roam over his sleeping form. He was holding on to me like I might disappear. Gently, yet firmly. He was holding me with reverence.

I carefully ran my hands through his disheveled hair, a perfect, sexy mess on the top of his head. I had to bite my lip to contain my grin as he moaned in his sleep, leaning into my hand.

Hearing that sound resonate from deep in his throat made my body tingle. I immediately felt overwhelmed with this need to touch him. The need has always been there, since the day I had met him.

But now, there was no containing it. Edward Cullen was reminding me what it was to feel...._lust_.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I came to that realization. I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks and I closed my eyes, trying to contain my stupid blush.

"What are you dreaming about that has your cheeks so perfectly pink?" I heard Edward say softly next to me, his fingers tracing my cheeks, his voice low and rough with sleep.

I became even more red as I his eyes found mine. His emerald orbs were sleepy and curious, accompanied by a smirk on his face.

Now, had it been just a few days ago, I would have brushed off his questions with shy laughter and resorted to my usual silence. But this man had told me he loved me. _He loved me_. I could keep nothing from him now.

"You." I answered boldly, feeling uncharacteristically confident as his brow raised and his grin grew wider. I heard his soft laughter and I wanted to live inside the sound. This was a happiness I had never known.

I felt his hand cup my face and his forehead rest against mine.

"I have dreamt of you all night, Isabella..." he whispered in a low voice before placing his lips on mine. I blushed again at the sound of my full name falling from his lips, thick with desire.

I turned my body, bringing it flush against his, earning me another groan from deep in his chest. My leg lifted on its own accord, hitched up over his hip, and I became acutely aware of the hardness now pressed against me. It was like I couldn't get close enough.

He deepened the kiss, his tongue moving slow and sensual inside my mouth. I was drinking him in, dizzy with joy.

When he finally broke away, we were both left panting and even more entangled in each other.

"You...you don't know what you do to me Bella..." he breathed, gently tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

I was rendered speechless by this tiny confession. _ God,_ I love him.

I wasn't anxious to get out of bed, but I knew that soon enough, Jasper and Alice would be in to check on Edward's condition. And if I didn't leave soon, I was highly likely to jump Edward's bones. Which wouldn't be a bad thing....but I wanted to do this right. I wanted to do this on his terms too. Slowly and carefully. I had forgotten what it was to _date._

And I knew Alice was well aware of my escape to Edward's room last night... I wasn't exactly stealthy.

If I managed to slip back into her cabin while she was still sleeping, I might be able to delay the slew of questions she surely had waiting for me.

Edward questioned me with tired, concerned eyes as I slowly sat up and placed both feet on the floor. His grip tightly for a moment, unwilling to let me go.

"Alice." I whispered. Understanding lit his features and he rolled his eyes and groaned at the mention of his high strung sister, dropping his head in defeat against my arm.

I leaned over him carefully, turning his head and placing another sound kiss on his perfect mouth before tip toeing to the door.

"Bella?" I heard him whisper behind me. I turned to see him smiling widely at me.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

My heart burst.

"I love you too." I replied, hardly able to contain my smile. The toothy grin and scarlet blush never left my face even as I snuck back under my covers in Alice's cabin. I touched my lips, feeling the soft flesh there that Edward had just worshipped with his mouth.

Kissing him was something I knew I would never tire of. I marveled for a moment at what it was to love this much.

I had loved James once. But never had a felt such a deeply rooted _connection_. When I tried to picture my life without Edward in it, my heart stuttered. There was no going back now.

Everything in me was telling me that he was_ it._

I'd be his for as long as he wanted me. I closed my eyes and prayed that it maybe it would be forever.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

I let hot water work its magic on me again when I finally woke up hours later. I was careful this time to hop out of the spray before it became freezing cold. I didn't think I could ever take cold water like that again. I wondered how Edward would feel if that icy blast of water hit him this morning. The thought worried me.

I prayed he was quick and got out in time.

When I returned from the shower I found Alice wide awake and looking at me expectantly. I couldn't help but giggle at the grin she was sporting. It was an..."I-know-what-you-did-last-night" kind of grin.

But thankfully, she didn't pry too much. She just insisted that she had seen this coming. I shrugged. When it came to Edward and I, Alice's intuition was spot on.

I dressed hurriedly, but took the time to tame my hair and make sure I looked alive before heading to the galley for breakfast. I was anxious to see Edward, hoping he was up and about and moving around all right.

As the galley doors swung open, I was overcome with the sweet sent of maple syrup. Rose was working her magic in the kitchen.

I searched the room for Edward, but didn't find him. Hoping to keep myself occupied before he arrived, I joined Rose in the kitchen to see if I could help.

I turned the corner into the kitchen to find Rose bopping her hips to a scratching radio while flipping fluffy banana pancakes over a griddle.

"Morning, Rose." I said with a smile. She turned to me with a wide grin and gave me a warm hug.

"Morning, Bella." she hummed. "Glad to have you up and about, baby girl. Now let me feed you!" she sang.

I laughed and helped her stack pancakes before helping myself to a warm plate. I spotted Alice and she waved me over to her table. Jasper was seated there as well, but there was still no sign of Edward.

"Miss me?" came a velvet voice behind me. My entire body immediately relaxed at the sound of his voice. I felt the distance between us close as he placed a searing kiss on my neck.

I bit my lip as I turned and smiled at him. He was dressed in a pair of dark denim jeans and a soft, dark blue pull over. He looked so cozy, I lost interest in my food and simply ached to wrap myself around him and fall asleep.

He placed one hand gently on the small of my back, guiding me to the table where his siblings waited with knowing grins.

As we all ate together, conversation flowed easily and laughter was a second language. I couldn't help but notice a sense of belonging I felt when I was with them. All of them. I felt _right_ here.

I saw the same feelings reflected in Edward's eyes as he looked at me. His face a canvas of adoration and joy.

Carlisle and Esme came to join us, holding close cups of tea as steam rose from their mugs and swirled through the air.

The pair of them seemed at peace by each other's side, but one look in their eyes told a different story. There was worry there. Concern.

Something had happened.

"Dad?" Edward spoke up, he too noticing the expression etched on his father's face. "What's going on?"

Carlisle sighed. "We've hit a small bump in the road." he said. "One of our engines is down. I had Emmett take a look at it, but we need to make port to really assess the damage."

I heard the collective sigh in the room at these words.

"It's not something I had expected. I had the entire ship inspected before we left...everything was running perfectly...." he continued. "But it seems we have been put on temporary hiatus. We'll be docking in Pradhoe Bay sometime in the next three days. Alice, I'll need you to make a list of any needed supplies before we get there. And please ask Bella what kind of supplies to purchase for the butyric acid bottles or whatever else she needs...."

"Emmett...you will accompany me to the harbor master when we arrive and see if we can figure out this issue quickly...although I'm certain we may have to stay the night while repairs are being made..."

"Dad?" Edward spoke up. "What can I do?"

"You can rest, son. You and Bella both need to just rest." he answered with a sigh and tired smile.

The plan sounded simple enough, but I worry was nagging at the back of my mind. If we docked, James would know. He would find us. Or worse, Aro would find us. Or both.

And it did not escape me, that Pradhoe Bay was my home town. Only Edward knew this. Which meant pulling up to the docks not far from my father's boat. This was also a huge risk. If James were here, he had total leverage over me. All the people I loved in one place.

"Carlisle?" I said, needing to voice my concerns. If any one of the Cullens were to leave the ship, they could be in danger. "It's not safe. Pradhoe Bay is...."

"I know, Bella." he said apologetically, reading my thoughts. "But at this moment, we don't have much of a choice. Pradhoe is the closest available port that has the parts we need to fix the engine. We will take care of it all quickly and quietly. I'm not sure what Aro or James has planned, but it will be highly likely that they carry out their intentions on a vessel this size in the middle of a public port. I have to rely on that. It doesn't make me happy in the least, but it is what must be done."

The finality in his words was irrefutable. There was nothing I could say. He was right, we were out of options.

The happiness and care free feeling I had felt this morning was shattered into a million pieces with the heavy weight of worry. Anything could happen. I swallowed the lump in my throat and did not allow myself to cry in front of these beautiful people. Carlisle and Esme left and headed for the radio room. Carlisle had been keeping in touch with the Denali family.

His last message to them received no response.

I felt Edward's hand on my knee, squeezing gently. I turned to look at him, his features laced with concern. He nodded quickly towards the door and I rose with him to leave, giving strained smiles to his brother and sister and hurrying the hell out of there.

Edward walked us quickly and silently to his room, closing the door softly behind him. I was choking on my words, unable to speak when suddenly he turned towards me and wrapped me in his arms. His hold on me was perfect pressure, perfect protection, perfect love. He knew without my voice that I just needed him to hold on to me before my knees gave out with worry.

I was terrified.

Edward was kissing my forehead and cheeks, brushing loose hair from my eyes and he looked me over. My breathing had steadied quite a bit but my voice was shaking. I reached up to reverently touch his face as words finally came to me.

"Just a month or so ago, I had nothing to lose." I said, tears collecting in my eyes. "And-and...n-now...."

"Bella, it's alright...it's okay..." he tried to sooth me.

"No, it's not okay. I can't help but feel like this is a big trap. All the people I love in one place...in my hometown...." my mind was racing. "My dad..." my voice broke in pain. "He'll be there...and I can't...I can't even...."

"We'll find a way, Bella...everything is going to be okay." he said softly in my ear as he continued to hold me, rocking us gently back and forth. "I won't leave your side. I promise."

I didn't know what to feel at this. More worry or ecstatic joy. The fact we were only three days away from port only made me want to hold onto him tighter now, while we had time.

It scared me that this could quite possibly be all we had.

I could sense his surprise as I kissed him hard, trying to tell him with my lips how fiercely I loved him. He was healing me from the inside out. For that I could never thank him enough.

He yielded to my kiss, giving in return equal passion as our mouths moved together. My arms fell around his neck, my hands in his soft hair. I felt his hands running up and down my back, sweet pressure behind their touch as he gripped my sides.

A moan escaped my mouth as his kisses moved to my neck. I shivered at the sensation of his soft lips on my sensitive neck. I could not help but moan aloud again as those kisses became open mouthed, the delicious wetness of his hot tongue dancing over my skin.

I pressed my body closer to his, grinding my hips against his, earning a hiss and moan from him.

"Bella..." he breathed, his gaze dark with want.

I silenced him with another searing kiss and moved my hips against his again, feeling the hardness there. I let my lips find his throat and left a trail of hot, wet kisses down his neck, provoking more mind boggling moans from this man. The sound alone was enough to undo me. I felt warmth pool between my legs.

I used the soft rocking of the ship to usher us in the direction of his bed. We fell in a heap together onto his pillows, our lips never parting.

I had landed on top of him and was now straddling his hips, taking a moment to look down at him, both of our gazes filled with this beautiful composition of lust and love.

I became afraid again. If tomorrow went badly, if anything happened...I would never see this, feel this...have him.

Frantically I pulled off my shirt and scrambled to take his off as well. I was left exposed before him in only a skimpy bra and my jeans. I watched his eyes widen with adoration and he sat up to meet me, my legs now around his waist.

He looked hesitant for a moment and for that moment I couldn't read him. I sucked in a breath as he bowed his head forward and I felt his lips meet my rib cage. He was adorning my bruised middle with his kisses.

I felt the tip of his nose trace up my ribs and higher as he nuzzled the space between my breasts, placing more sweet kisses there.

I wanted to cry. I never expected that anyone could love me like this. He was reverent and caring, unlike James had ever been. He truly loved me...and now it was all on the brink of disappearing.

I reached behind me, scrambling to unhook my bra when suddenly Edward had flipped us over and was now on top of me. He took both of my hands and kissed them, stopping them from unclasping my bra. He shook his head at me, ceasing my advances and crushing me with rejection.

I couldn't look him in his eyes. Maybe he really didn't want me. Maybe I had been an idiot and thrown myself at him and now he's changed his mind...

I was blinking back tears when I felt his lips on my neck and his hands in my hair. His kisses were slow, there was no panic or hurry, there was only him. He stopped, hovering over me, our noses mere centimeters apart. He could read me like an open book. And his next words had me melting in his arms.

"Oh Bella...do you have any idea how badly I want you right now?" he whispered, placing a hot, slow kiss on my lips. "How badly I want to take you? To make love to you?"

His kisses went lower and lower, trailing my collar bone and making me gulp.

"You are everything I have ever wanted," he said, his green eyed gaze burning through me. "I would give you the world if I could..." His lips traveled over the tops of each of my breasts.

He stopped his ministrations to return to my face, stroking my cheek and looking me in the eyes.

"And thats I want to make love to you when it's right. I want it to be everything you deserve." he said softly, the hum of his voice vibrating through his chest which was pressed against mine. "I don't want it to be frantic, or rushed, or out of fear of tomorrow."

"Don't be afraid, love." he said. "I'm not going anywhere. I love you."

I nodded through my tears, pulling him to me and wrapping my arms around him. I was so thankful that he understood me so well, that he knew what I needed even before I did.

Without bothering to put our shirts back on, we pulled up the covers over both of us. Our chests were pressed together and Edward's fingers were splayed perfectly across my bare back. Gingerly, he tucked us in and enfolded me in his arms.

I let myself become lost in him, his scent, his touch, the feel of his chest rising and falling beside me.

"_I'm not going anywhere. I love you_."

I sank into a restless sleep, my eyes heavy from tears shed. I felt Edward's fingers running through my hair.

Tomorrow could wait. The fear and the worry and the panic, could wait.

Here, in these arms, nothing could ever hurt me. As long as this was my home, nothing could ever hurt me.

**So, big drama next chapter obviously. Let me know your thoughts! Next chapter will probably have both Bella and Edward's POV. I hope you enjoyed. :)**


	15. Breaking

**So, college life is back in the swing of things and unfortunately it has left me with little time. BUT....who needs to be reading about phytochemicals and nutrition when they COULD be writing their next chapter of Stow Away...?**

**Not ME. :) Thanks for being amazing. Please review and let me know if this story is worth continuing and finishing. Love you guys.**

**EPOV**

Fog was hanging heavy over Pradhoe Bay as we entered the harbor. Bella's hand trembled slightly in mine. I knew today would be a tense one - especially for her.

We were all on high alert. The likely hood of something happening in a public area was minimal, but we didn't know what we were dealing with yet.

I squeezed Bella's hand gently, trying to reassure her I was here, that I wouldn't let anything happen to her. My mind wandered back to just days ago...Bella's perfect form above me, frantic with need.

It took everything I had to say no to her. To stop myself from making love to her right then and there. Her body was overwhelmingly tempting. Her delicate curves left me _aching_ to touch her.

She just had no clue how absolutely _breathtaking_ she was.

But I knew almost as soon as she kissed me, it wasn't right. Her kisses were filled with goodbyes that I couldn't take. It was just too much. I couldn't let her go.

We had all agreed that any business that was to be conducted would happen in day light. Emmett would follow Dad to the harbor master, Jasper and Alice would be accompanied by a few crew members to fill orders and Bella and I were to stay aboard. Anything that was left to be done would happen in well populated areas of town.

The crew had until seven at night to finish their business in town and return to _The Guardian._ A few of us were to stay aboard and Dad had his most trusted men stationed at possible entrances on the vessel to keep watch. Not all of the crew was informed of the specifics of our predicament, but everyone could feel the tension in the air.

Eleazar Denali had never returned my father's messages. Whatever Aro had planned for us was well in motion by now.

Whether or not the crew knew what dangers we were facing, the gravity of the situation was enough to make everyone nervous. Everyone was anxious for seven o'clock to be here and for all of us to be on our way.

We had no choice but to make this stop. The engine needed to be attended to. And fuel supplies needed to be replenished.

I had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if Bella was right? What if this was just one big trap and we were playing into Aro's hands?

Though I knew Bella and I would be somewhat safer aboard _The Guardian_, I didn't like the fact that we were all splitting up, making us more vulnerable.

But once again....no choice.

I wouldn't be happy until we were out of Pradhoe Bay and back to open water. And I knew that Bella felt the same.

The last couple nights were restless for her. We had become accustomed to each other's body heat during the night. We didn't try to hide it from Alice when we found each other after dark. As soon as my parents retired for the evening, Bella would sneak into my room and snuggle into bed beside me.

Her nightmares had returned full force after the news of our destination in Pradhoe Bay. The tension and the emotion rolled off of her body in waves in her waking hours, but when she slept she could do little to contain what she was truly feeling. Her fears unleashed themselves in the form of nightmares as soon as her eyes closed and her subconscious was vulnerable.

I could only hold on to her as she cried in her sleep, whimpering and mumbling to the imaginary people haunting her in her dreams. She called out for her father over and over and once or twice I would have to gently wake her. I couldn't bear to see her so upset and do nothing about it.

She would gasp awake, frightened at first. But then, upon seeing my face, her eyes would soften and her tears would slow. She'd wrap her arms tight around my neck and shift against me, bringing herself closer.

Nothing was better than holding Bella this way, my hands in her hair and around her small frame, breathing in her scent. I just wished that it didn't have to happen as a result of the multitude of nightmares I couldn't save her from. The whale songs seemed to lose their magic as we got closer and closer to the harbor.

And now, standing next to her, I could feel my body, every cell was adjusting to Bella, wanting nothing more than to hold her up. She looked as if she might break at any moment.

"Bella?" I said softly, pulling her out of her trance as she stared with a hard face towards the docks.

She looked up at me with glassy brown eyes, so much hidden in their depths. She gave me a small smile. It was strained, but it was a smile nonetheless. At this point I was taking whatever I could get.

"Morning Bella!" came a voice behind us.

_Ugh...fucking Newton._

Bella gave him nothing but a polite nod before squeezing my hand and moving closer to me, finding a place under my arm and tucked into my side. Little gestures like these made me want to scoop her up and take her away from all of this.

"Looks like fog." commented Mike.

_No shit, Sherlock. Someone give this douche an award_.

I turned back to Bella, her eyes glued to something along the docks. She had long forgotten Mike's pathetic attempts at conversation and was staring straight ahead. I was taken aback by her expression. So many emotions played there, shock, grief, fear....

I followed her gaze to the harbor.

And there it was.

_The Swan 197_ was floating contentedly by the dock. It was a moderately sized fishing boat, well equipped with gear and obviously worn in. The pale blue paint was chipped in places, and the metal crab cages were rust covered. It was a sturdy old boat.

I tried to imagine Bella as a child, living on that vessel. Where she slept, where she played, what her father looked like.

I heard Bella suck in a ragged breath beside me as we spotted a figure coming out of the wheelhouse. We were still too far away to see distinct features, but I knew from Bella's reaction, that the figure before us must be Charlie Swan.

Bella whirled around, her hands covering her face, her back towards her father and his boat. Her hands were tight fists as she clenched her jaw and squeezed her eyes shut, choking on a sob.

"Bella..." instantly I was at her side. "Its okay, baby...just take a deep breath."

She was shaking and looking at me, focusing intensely on me as she tried to steady her breathing. Her bottom lip trembled as she turned ever so slowly, to look out again to where her father's boat floated, oblivious to our presence.

"Dad...."

I tucked Bella's body closer to my own, hoping to hold her up. She felt weak and unsteady in my arms.

"I...I've never felt like this Edward." she whispered, her breathing becoming shallow again. "Its like my heart is b-being ripped out of my chest. He's here...he's alive and he's alright...and I...I have to stay invisible...I c-can't even tell him I'm here..."

She turned in my arms and wrapped her own around my waist, burrowing her head into my chest.

"I can't look anymore, Edward...take me away...I can't..." she mumbled. "He can't see me...he can't see me..."

I felt helpless. I could only imagine how she must feel. Years away from her father, years of abuse and torment...and now she can't even come home. She may have escaped James, but she still wasn't free.

I have never wished death upon anyone. But imagining killing James with my bare hands brought me an eerie sense of satisfaction.

"Please...Edward..." she whimpered, erasing my vengeful thoughts with her soft, gentle voice.

Without a second thought, I gently guided her inside, through the winding halls to my room. It was quiet here and the steady rocking of the ship felt comforting.

As soon as we were inside, Bella stumbled towards my bed and sat down, her breath picking up again. She looked every where but me as she began to hyperventilate, her body no longer trying to resist the pain she was feeling. It came pouring out of her suddenly, in gasping sobs and a downpour of tears.

I started to panic. I needed her to look at me. Whatever she was feeling, whatever storm she was in, I could be her anchor if she let me.

_Please, Bella. Please let me_.

"Bella....baby, please breathe..." I begged her. I was on my knees in front of her, my hands cupped around her face and neck, willing her to focus on me, to find her breath. I could feel her heart racing beneath my hands.

And then I was staring into those warm brown eyes. The pain I saw in them was enough to knock me over.

Ever since I met Bella, she had always been an emotional fortress, only letting me see so much of her, opening up only as much as she needed to for me to understand what she had been through. Even then, she had always done her best to keep it together.

But now as I looked into her eyes I could see her walls crumbling down. Two years worth of emotion were letting themselves rage through her all at once. She was just as unprepared for it as I was. She was trembling with it.

I didn't know what to think. Holding all of this in must have been a heavy burden...but letting it out like this....in a violently emotional break down...

I was _scared_. I was afraid that I was going to lose my Bella. That this pain might consume her and take her away from me. And I didn't know what to do. She had come so far. I needed her to stay with me.

"Bella..." I was begging her, never tearing my eyes from hers. "I need you here with me, okay? Take a deep breath...thats it. Just keep looking at me...stay with me."

I could see her fighting to follow me, taking gasping, shaking breaths as she clutched her chest. When her breathing was closer to normal, I pulled her to me as she cried.

"Its not fair...its not fair...." she was muttering.

"I know it hurts.....it's okay, Bella. I'm here...I'm not going anywhere..."

I could only hope that these words would help even in a small way. I felt her cling tighter to me and I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

We stayed this way for what seemed like hours. Sobs became soft cries, tears became hiccups and sniffles. My shirt was damp and clinging to my skin.

When Bella finally pulled away, she looked up at me with red rimmed, puffy eyes and a pink nose. Her eyes traveled over my face lovingly.

"I'm so sorry, Edward." she whispered, her lip quivering, slightly. I didn't understand why the hell she would be apologizing until I looked into her eyes again. I could see by her expression she was embarrassed.

"Never. Never say sorry for that." I said firmly. "As scary as that was, I think you needed it."

She nodded slowly, taking in one long, slow sip of air and letting it out easily, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment of peace. Lifting her tiny hands, she wiped the remaining tears from her face and looked up at me again.

"Your shirt...."

"Bella, I don't give a shit about this shirt." I smiled at her, hoping to see her own grin in response. I watched with hope floating in my chest as the corners of her mouth raised.

"What do you need, Bella?" I asked her, serious again. "Ask me anything..."

She silenced me with a searing kiss. Her lips were swollen and perfect, her cheeks were still damp with tears.

"This is all I need, Edward." she whispered, centimeters away from my mouth. "Just this."

She kissed me soundly once more before rubbing her eyes and running a hands through her hair. After a moment or two, she spoke again. Her voice was raw from crying.

"I think I'm going to go take a shower." she said softly, stroking my cheek. "I just need some hot water and some warm clothes."

"Okay." I said as I kissed her forehead. "I'll be right here when you are finished."

We both stood. I kept my hand on her elbow to steady her as she rose. She felt so fragile to me. She smiled and blushed as she wobbled a little on her feet.

She made her way to the door, but stopped just as she was grabbing the latch. She turned back to me with glassy eyes and a small smile, filled with nothing but love and gratitude.

Her chin started to quiver again and I got scared. I made my way over to her and cupped her face, searching her eyes to see if she was okay, or if she needed more time to cry and let out all of this anguish.

"It's okay, Bella, don't cry..."

But I didn't see panic or fear, I only saw love. In an instant she had her arms wrapped tightly around my waist and her cheek pressed against my chest.

"I know, Edward..." she said. "I just love you. I love you...I _love_ you...."

Her voice trailed away as she whispered the words into my shirt and clung even tighter to me. My heart was in my throat.

I gently lifted her chin to look into those doe eyes one more time. A different kind of tear rolling from them. I studied her face, completely overwhelmed with how much I felt for this girl. How much she had changed my life.

I thought back on how alone I used to feel, even amongst those I loved. But this kind of love...it was just...beyond anything I could ever imagine.

"I love you too, Isabella...so much." I said, feeling my throat tighten. "The words themselves don't even seem like enough."

I kissed her, slowly and heatedly. _God._..I would never get enough of this.

**BPOV**

When I could finally find the strength tear myself away from Edward, I made my way to showers. I could feel my swollen eyes and my throat hurt from crying so much. I couldn't believe what had just happened. Everything I had been feeling just ripped through me all at once. My chest had tightened...I couldn't breathe or think. I was just struck dumb by the pain I felt.

My father...

As I stepped in to the hot spray of water I thought about seeing him again. It was the most bittersweet feeling. He was alive and well from the looks of things. James had left him alone. I thanked God over and over for that.

But to only see him from a distance was ripping me apart from the inside. I couldn't call out to him or hug him or tell him I was okay and not to worry or be sad....

I needed him. I _needed_ my Dad. And the only way he would be safe is if he never saw me ever again.

I wanted to warn him, should James ever find him...should something go wrong.

I wanted to see him so badly, and yet I couldn't look anymore. It was killing me. I fell apart in Edward's room. It was like my body just couldn't hold onto this pain anymore. It came falling out of me, uncontrollably.

In between feeling an immense wave of sadness, I was helplessly embarrassed that Edward was witnessing all of this. I must have looked _crazy_. Absolutely insane. I kept expecting him to run, to leave me in this, as he should have.

But he never left me. He _saved_ me. I was drowning and he pulled me out of this current of grief. I smiled at the irony of that thought.

As I surfaced from my emotional break down, he was all I could see. Beyond whatever had happened to me, whatever was to happen next...I had him.

I let hot water sooth my face, closing my eyes and trying to relax. My eye lids felt heavy with emotion and behind my eyes seemed to ache.

I threw on some jeans and one of Edward's sweat shirts, loving the way his scent seemed to wrap itself around me. I took a deep breath as I looked in the mirror and tried to make my hair decent.

I could do this. I could get through this. Just a few more hours. Everyone would return to the ship and we would leave the bay. We would leave...my dad. And he'd be safer here.

Safe without me.

I twisted my hair into a loose braid as I walked back towards Edward's room. I was lost in thought. There had to be a way to warn my dad about James. I was wracking my brain for anything that would give him a sign....

"Are you alright, Bella?" came the voice of Mike Newton. I almost jumped at the sound of his voice.

"Y-yes, Mike. Thank you." I said, trying to be polite and gave him a small smile.

"You dropped this, I think." he said, placing something cold and hard in the palm of my hand.

It was my locket.

_Bingo._

**Please let me know what you think. Your reviews are so important to me. Will do my best to update this week!**

~Hippie


	16. Last Chance

**Hi Everyone...**

**I know, I know I'm awful. I'm horrendous. It has been AGES. You are rightfully pissed with me, I get it. Life hit me fast and hard and right now I'm half way around the world away from home. **

**But, I'm back. **

**This update is dedicated solely to dreambig123 for being so encouraging and patient and wonderful. She had faith in this story when I believed I had truly lost it. I owe her big time.**

**Okay, I won't bore you with some drawn out apology. Let's dive right back in, shall we?**

**James POV**

"You've made little progress, James." said Aro. His eyes were narrow and tight, his stance rigid and intimidating as he looked out the stateroom windows of _The Volterra_. I could feel the blood trickling down my nose and over my lips.

_That Caius fucker has one hell of a right hook._

"You've been distracted and reckless." Aro turned slowly to look down at me here on the floor. "Your driveling informant _Newton_ has been of more use to me than you have!"

Without warning, his open palm met my face full force. I hissed at the contact as my cheek and nose hummed with the sting.

"I know what this is about, James. I know that your mind has been occupied with that little whore that slipped through your fingers." Aro sneered as he reached into a briefcase and pulled out several photos, spilling them onto the floor beside me.

I leaned forward on my knees and craned my neck to see them. They were pictures of Isabella and that punk Cullen. I felt the anger boil and rise from the soles of my fucking feet. _She was mine_.

I studied the pictures closer. The Cullen kid had his arms around her and Bella was looking at him the way she used to look at me. Back before everything had been fucked. Before I ever met Aro all those years ago.

There were several photos now littering the floor and Bella was with that bastard in every single one. She was never alone. The two had become pretty attached from the looks of things.

She looked different. She looked..._stronger._ She looked like she was...in_ love_.

I held back the growl in my throat. That bitch had cost me. And now she was _in love_? With _that_ fresh faced tree hugger? I looked at the expression on her face and thought back to a time when it was saved just for me.

When I first met Bella, I had been working for Aro for about a year. I was a rookie looking to move up in the ranks and earn some respect. Meeting Bella had been a complete accident.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

"_Damn, J!" Laurent howled as my fist connected with his shoulder. I chuckled as he swung back at me, his grin wide all the while. Our friends roared with laughter as we wrestled on the campus grounds outside the science building. We were old friends. And were the newest members of the Volturri. _

_I tackled him to the ground, pinning him easily. _

"_Tap out bitch!" I growled in his ear with a laugh._

"_Okay okay!" he whined, tapping out obediently on my shoulder. _

_Brushing the dirt and crisp autumn leaves from our pants, we rose to our feet. _

"_Man, you gotta lighten up on me." Laurent chuckled, rubbing his neck. "I gotta be on my game. You never know what's next with Aro. I don't wanna pussy out with a bum neck because of some crap wrestling with you!"_

"_Whatever, man...you goin tonight?" I asked him in a hushed voice as we parted ways with some of the guys_

"_To the sit down? Hell yeah. You?" he whispered back. We walked out of ear shot to continue our discussion._

"_I guess so." I shrugged. "I dunno...I feel like we haven't done shit. I'm just floating around on The Nomad on watch, and you're just spending hang time with the Guard. It's pointless. We've been Volturri for almost a year now. I'm tired of these pansy assignments. Nothing happens! What the hell is he doing anyway?"_

_Laurent stared at me wide eyed, panic stricken. He roughly grabbed the denim of my jacket and turned me to face him._

"_Careful what you say, James! If Aro ever found out you were doubting him...even for a second...I have no idea what he'd do to you, but it wouldn't be pretty. You know Aro has some master agenda planned...the guy is sharp. We're just pieces of the puzzle. You have to accept that. We play our part, we get paid. We get paid well. I need that money, J. Don't you get my ass in trouble cause you feel like you have some shit to prove!"_

_I shoved him off of me, my temper rising. _

"_Whatever...I just can't do this babysitting shit when I know I could be doing better things. Alec just signed on six months ago and he's already in Aro's stateroom for meetings. It's bullshit."_

_Laurent snorted at the mention of Alec._

"_Alec is just Aro's coffee bitch, everybody knows that. Come on, J. Let's go."_

_I knew we couldn't continue to talk about the Volturri and about Aro in public so I didn't push the subject. The truth was, I knew I needed to prove myself to Aro. I had to show him I was someone he would always need on his side. I had to make myself an essential player in his game._

_Aro always kept his lips sealed about his family affairs, but that didn't keep the rumors and theories from spreading through his men. The word was that he was out for revenge on his big brother Carlisle. He was like me, the black sheep of his own family. _

_Being new members of the Volturri, we were initiated into a brotherhood of secrecy and loyalty and since we were so low on the totem pole, we were not privileged to most of Aro's most intricate plans. We were part of the grunt work, doing anything he asked in order to serve his cause, no matter how little we knew about it in the first place._

_But after spending time with fellow members and putting pieces together from Aro's sit downs, one thing was clear._

_Aro's ultimate goal was to infiltrate the multi million dollar company that now belonged to his brother and take it for his own. _

_Killing Carlisle wasn't enough. Though, we didn't know how just yet, we knew that Aro was planning on tearing Carlisle's life apart piece by piece. His work, his family, his business, he was working to sabotage all of it before killing his brother. _

_I could care less about his drama. All I cared about was the mind-blowing sum of money that would be coming our way if we succeeded._

_We walked past the open doors of the science building and before I even see it coming, a blur of chestnut brown comes crashing into me._

"_What the..."_

_I regain my balance fairly easily. Whoever this person is, their tiny ass did little to affect my solid frame. I looked down on the ground to see a girl frantically gathering books and pushing thick, black framed glasses higher on her nose. _

"_I'm so sorry! Jesus...I'm such a klutz...please, I'm so sor-" the girl stuttered, coming to her feet and standing up straight. _

_She was pretty. Not blatantly so, but in all the most natural ways. Big beautiful brown eyes hid behind those glasses. Pouty lips, perfect petite frame. And a brunette. She wasn't a bombshell like Vicki, but she was cute as hell._

"_Hey, it's alright. No harm done." I assured her. Innocence was written all over her face. I took her delicate hand in mine. "I'm James by the way."_

"_I-I'm B-Bella. Erm...Isabellla Swan."_

_~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~_

I had no idea then just how important Isabella would become.

I spotted her on campus more and more. She was quiet, but anyone could see she was smart. I found her most frequently in the chemistry lab. Watching her work was so fascinating. She was absolutely in her element, absorbed in her work, discovering. She was one of only a handful of females in the chemistry department and she was outshining all her classmates.

I soon found myself looking for her when I walked through campus. She was nothing special to me. I had little trouble getting what I wanted from women. And that's exactly what I did. When I wanted something, I got it. But Bella was a mystery. And for some reason I felt that she held the answer if only I could ask the right question.

It was just after Halloween when I figured it out.

This girl...this quiet, intelligent, adorable girl...had balls. Halloween meant the usual egg and toilet paper routine. Some of the guys took it further and stole from a few smaller drug stores or frightened some wary sailors.

But then...in comes Bella. I remember it so clearly. She was arm in arm with Jessica Stanley and Angela Weber, dressed fiercely as a ladybug and toting the nastiest stink bombs I had ever encountered. The deviant grin on her face was priceless.

"Damn," Laurent said, holding his nose next to me that night. "What else can she make?"

So I found out. Her brilliant mind opened up a door to simple tricks and perfect..._weapons_. I pushed her. She was easy to persuade. I could see in the way she looked at me that I had this girl in my pocket.

_It was the way she looked at Cullen now_.

Soon I was raking in cash left and right. And _finally,_ Aro noticed me.

I was supplying some Volturri members who knew about my brand new business. I kept it pretty discrete at first, until I realized how much people were willing to pay. Soon, some of the higher ranking members were coming to me to order some of the more high end products I had Bella turning out for me. They had begun to use them regularly, scaring the bejesus out of locals and successfully commandeering merchandise and smaller vessels.

I was no longer invisible. Aro began coming to me specifically with odd jobs and supply orders. He would have me hold up smaller fishing vessels or similar boats, cracking down on those who owed him money or loyalty and had failed to live up to their promises.

I was allowed into more stateroom meetings, given more assignments, higher pay and higher status. I was allowed access to better technology for tracking too. Among the things that came with higher status...came sex, more money and hard drugs.

I kept Bella close to me once I became an addict. I knew that my success relied almost completely and totally on her work. She was easy to persuade into anything. She was blinded by what she felt for me. Or at least that is what I thought.

When she did start to catch on, I was panicking. Aro didn't act at first, overlooking my steady decrease in sales while I stuttered through botched explanations about my sudden lack of product. But after a while, he started getting more and more frustrated with me. To top it off, I was itching for a fix every single day. I remember the day Aro gave me my final warning vividly. His words like ice, his eyes too calm.

"_Your lacking performance is beginning to spread doubts about my operations, James. My network extends across oceans. A glitch in my system is unacceptable. No matter how small or insignificant you are. Fix this. Before I remove you from the Volturri permanently_."

Once you were Volturri, you were in it for life. It was modern day coast line mafia. You're either useful or you're dead.

That's when I took her.

She's a smart girl. She knew to run. But she didn't account for my greatest skill - tracking. Nor was she aware of the technology available to me to do so with Volturri backing.

I got high that night before I came to take her away. The coke went right to my fists as I beat her senselessly. I had no time for her struggle, as I knew she would be stubborn with me for quite a while once I had her on _the Nomad_. She had forced my hand. I wasn't playing house anymore. She _would_ do as she was told.

It took work, and plenty of fighting to get Isabella to finally submit, but I did it. After a while she didn't even speak. I liked it quiet. I liked he weak. Submissive. It made my job easier.

Aro gave me plenty of space once business picked up again, only contacting me with odd tracking jobs now and again. My last assignment had been the Cullens.

I'd fucked myself over big time with that. I procrastinated once I had my hands on a new kilo of dust. The high was so intense, I lost track of days and how many times I'd snort or shoot, how many women I'd slept with, and even weapon orders that were due.

Big mistake.

Not only did it earn me the beating of my life, but it cost me Isabella.

Which brings me finally, right here. On my knees in front of Aro, blood dripping from my face, praying for a chance to fix this.

"She is a lovely little thing." Aro commented as he caught me staring at the pictures. "I didn't realize that _she_ was the pretty little secret behind your lucrative business."

He sat behind his desk, hands folded, his eyes that eerily familiar calm.

"This would be your end, James."

My breath caught in my throat. _Shit. Fuck. No_.

" But your little friend Isabella has become of interest to me. And it seems she has definitely become of interest to my very youngest nephew. You have one last chance. Here is your assignment."

He leans over the desk and drops a small envelope in my lap. I let out the breath i was holding. It shook in my mouth and hung in the air. The fear.

"Newton has fouled one of their engines, giving you a small window of time. I want her alive. Whatever else you do to her, I don't care. But keep her alive. And make sure Edward follows you. Am I understood?"

"Yes sir. " I croak. He hands me a small cellular phone.

"Newton will be in contact with the details. Do not. Fail. Me."

I rose from my knees, biting back a groan at the soreness in my body. I hurriedly made my out the door and down the hall. I was at the end of my rope. This was it for me. My last chance.

I wouldn't be here if Bella hadn't run. Aro's words echoed in my head over and over. His threatening tone ringing in my ears. "Do no. Fail. Me."

I _wouldn't _fail. And Bella? She would pay.

**Bella's POV**

"Mike?" I said as I stared down at the locket in my hands. He stopped and turned back, his eyes taking far too long to roam up my body.

"Yeah?"

"I need a favor."

I flipped the locket open and took one last look at the pictures inside. My beautiful mother, my loving, honest dad. Mike nodded, waiting for me to continue.

"I need you to deliver something for me."

I moved hurriedly down the hallway to the radio room, Mike following obediently behind me.

"Who is it for?" he asked curiously.

"The name is not important, I'll give you the directions. But it needs to be delivered today and I can't do it myself." I rolled my eyes when he wasn't looking. As harmless as the guy was, I just needed him to stop asking questions and_ help_ me.

I rustled through paperwork and open drawers and cabinets, finding a decent sized envelope and dropping in the locket. It's the only way Charlie would know for sure it was me.

I pulled out a pen and a piece of paper, stopping suddenly as I thought about how much there was to say and how small the paper was. How big the feeling in my chest was. How this was so unfair. How I should be able to walk to my father's boat and throw my arms around him. How none of this _ever _should have happened.

How I never would have met Edward if it hadn't.

My eyes filled, overwhelmed with so many emotions.

"You alright there, Bella?" Mike's nasal voice cut through my thoughts.

"I'm fine. Just give me a minute to write a quick note, okay?" I replied.

He nodded and shrugged, looking at me strangely before exiting the room and waiting for me outside.

With shaking hands I picked up my pen. I needed him to know I was okay. I needed to give him a small peace of mind. But I needed him to know he couldn't come after me. This was goodbye. The goodbye I never had a chance to say two years ago...

Dad,

I wish I could be with you right in this moment. Wish I could tell you myself that I'm safe, that I'm alive, that I've found a small amount of peace and even _love_ in the time that has passed since I last saw you. Wish I could feel your arms wrapped around me.

I can't begin to tell you what I've been through. It would hurt both of us too much. But I need you to know that I'm alright now. I've survived. I'm not alone.

I also need you to know that you cannot come find me. If you love me, you will trust this. Looking for me will only put you in harms way. It _will _kill you, Dad. Which is something I cannot bear. Please listen to me. I had to warn you. Trust that I am safe and well. _Don't_ come looking for me.

I love you so much. I miss you more than I can possibly describe. I pray that someday I will find you and return to you when this all ends. I want to see your face. I want to be held by my father. I will keep praying for that day, and for you. I love you. Always.

Bella

I used the hem of my sleeve to wipe the salt water that was now streaming down my face. There was still so much to say. But somehow, knowing that he would understand I was safe from harm brought me peace of mind.

I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes for a moment. I needed to get myself together.

I quickly folded the letter and slid it inside the envelope along with the locket, sealing it closed.

Mike was waiting outside the doors staring intently at his open cell phone with an expression I couldn't read. As soon as he heard my foot steps, he snapped his phone shut and gave me one of his goofy, space cadet smiles. I handed him the letter, feeling anxiety set in the moment it left my hands.

"I need you to take that down to the harbor and deliver it to this dock number." I had written directions on the envelope. "It's very important. Just leave it there and come back. That's all I'm asking."

I was a fidgeting nervous wreck. "Please hurry." I added.

He nodded calmly and shrugged. His indifference relieved me. I didn't want him asking too many questions. I just wanted him to come back and tell me that my letter had made it to its destination.

I sighed a shaky breath, trying to calm down a little. One, two, three breaths more and my heart was starting to come back to its normal rhythm.

Wrapping my arms around myself against the chilly air in the hallway, I headed straight for Edward's room. He was all I needed right now.

As I walked I marveled at how quickly this boy had become my whole world. And I had become his. Just months ago I had been a _slave_. Alone. Afraid. Silent. Wounded.

Edward was healing me, teaching me, trusting me, protecting me. Loving me.

I knocked softly on his door. As soon as it opened and I saw him standing there, waiting for me, arms lifted towards me...I knew I was safe. I gave him a small smile when I saw his concerned face, assuring him in a small way that I was alright.

He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me, my head tucked perfectly under his chin. I breathed in his scent and closed my eyes.

I realize how absolutely exhausted I was and it was only mid day. The mixture of anxiety and emotion has drained me. I yawned, nuzzling into his chest.

"Tired?" he asked softly.

I nodded in response. My words had retreated. I had fallen back into the comfort of silence. Edward knew this. He knew me. He pulled away for a moment, taking my hand and leading me towards his bed. Without letting go of my fingers, he pulled the covers back and straightened the pillows. He guided me gently to the bed, laying me down on my stomach. I thought he was going to lie down with me until I felt his hands starting to rub circles on my back.

His hands began to knead the tension out of my neck, shoulder blades, arms and back. With perfect pressure and the most beautiful gentleness, he effectively melted me into a puddle.

I felt my cheeks fill with pink as I let out a soft moan as his fingertips worked against my skin. My eyes were heavy with sleep and love and exhaustion. I finally let them close.

"Isabella..." he said softly. He leaned down to kiss my neck and shoulders. "Rest. Please rest. You're safe here with me. I promise I'll never let them hurt you..."

He spoke the words so softly, it was almost as if I wasn't meant to hear them.

I was lost in haze between the depth of sleep and the sounds of the present. I fell into a restless slumber until some part of me became aware of new weight on the bed. A warm body laying down beside me, enfolding me in strong arms. _Edward. _

I gave in to his embrace, my body heavy and weak. I gave in to rest. I gave in to dreams. But I did not dream well.

I dreamt of a storm coming.

**Please forgive me for putting this on one hell of a hiatus. I'm back now I promise! And though I may not be a super-speed updater, this story WILL continue and eventually finish. I've got my groove back. ;)**

**Please review!**


	17. Run

**EPOV**

She could say so many things to me just with her eyes. Hearing her soft rapping on my door, I jumped up to open it. I was on edge constantly today, but especially when she wasn't next to me. Even if it was just to take a shower, I was worried.

Part of me knew I was probably just freaking out for nothing. But the other part of me recognized that this day could go seriously wrong if James or Aro were involved or had news of our presence in the harbor.

She looked fragile standing there in front of me. She was holding on to herself so tightly, like she was keeping herself from falling apart. I opened my arms to her. That was my job now. _My _arms were supposed to do that. She had certainly done the same for me.

I just wanted my family to come back to the ship so we could fix this shit engine and get the fuck out of here. Staying here, with the threat of the unknown hanging over us, and the torment of knowing her father was just down in the harbor yet unreachable, was torturing Bella. Torturing me too.

As soon as she was in my arms I could feel a small amount of tension leave her in a sigh against my chest. I could feel it, she was exhausted. She was quiet. I knew she would be. There was just too much going on inside of her to articulate to me what she felt. But when I looked in her I eyes I could feel it too. They were my lifeline.

Rubbing the tension out of Bella's back and shoulders, I was in direct contact with the warmth of her body. Her skin was almost hot underneath my fingertips, and the small moans and sighs escaping her mouth nearly _killed_ me. I wanted to touch her so badly. I wanted all this shit to just disappear so I could take her away and just...be with her.

After her breathing had slowed and her body had relaxed, I pulled a chair up next to the bed and watched her sleep. I was too anxious to sleep. I felt like my body was on high alert.

I pulled a book from the shelf in a feeble attempt to distract myself. I read the same sentence about fourteen times. I couldn't concentrate. Especially when it became clear that Bella was not sleeping peacefully.

She began to whimper in her sleep, her expression wincing as if she were in pain. She started to become restless. I watched, not knowing what to do or how to help as her body contorted and turned. Her shirt began to ride up, exposing smooth alabaster skin. Mahogany curls splayed across my pillow.

It was when she started to cry that I couldn't take it anymore.

They were soft whimpers and tears. There was a hopelessness in the sound that nearly broke me. I had to hold her. I had touch her, comfort her somehow.

As gently as I could, I lowered myself down on the bed beside her. My body slid in next to her. I smiled to myself as she automatically turned in my direction. I pulled the fleece blankets up over the both of us, tucking them in around Bella's shoulders as I pulled her into to me.

She just..._belonged_ there. Next to me.

I couldn't stop smiling as I watched her begin to relax. She needed _me._ Me. This was all new to me. To be needed. I liked it. I _wanted_ to be what she needed. Even in her sleep she gravitated towards me. As I did with her. We were like magnets.

I had spent so much time alone that I was used to only worrying about myself. It wasn't until I met Bella that I _worried _for someone. Some how I was already attuned to her. She moved, I moved.

I couldn't sleep. I could only watch over her, hold her. She mumbled to herself in her sleep, her brows creased with worry. I couldn't stop myself from smoothing it out.

"Edward..." she sighed. I froze, waiting for her to wake up and catch me gawking at her like a creep while she slept. But she didn't. I smiled smugly. She was dreaming about _me_.

An hour passed before I felt her breathing change and her eyelids flutter against my chest.

"Mmmm..." she hummed against me as she wrapped her arms around my waist and squeezed me closer. I laid a soft kiss on her forehead.

She pulled back only far enough to look me in the eyes.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you." She said it so softly I almost didn't hear her. She pressed her lips to my shoulder, then my neck and then my cheek. Each kiss slow, gentle, unassuming, deliberate. Chills ran up my spine.

"For what?"

She gave me a pained, glassy eyed smile before she leaned in to capture my lips. I breathed her in, her warm inviting scent. She was so _close_ to me. So close. So warm. Our mouths moved perfectly, too briefly.

"You just..." she sighed, kissing my nose. "You make it not hurt so much."

"Isabella...I-" My voice trailed off, not knowing how to respond. My chest was full as her words sank in. All I could do was kiss her again. I just had to.

My lips met hers with more force this time. I couldn't help it. The need to touch her... to kiss her was overwhelming. She met my advances with the same eagerness. I could feel all the blood in my body rushing down to my groin as her tongue swept across my bottom lip.

I felt her little hands wrap tighter around my waist and pull me closer. I hissed as I became pressed against her warm body, feeling all of her curves melt into me.

"Bella..." I tried to get the words out when my mouth wasn't busy belonging to hers.

She paused to look up at me. Her eyes wide and so full of depth. I kissed her again, slowly. Deeply. Leaving both of us panting. Her eyes were still so sad.

"God..." I breathed into her neck. "Wish I could just..._fix_ this. Just have you."

I kissed each eye lid before taking her mouth again.

"Give you everything..."

I felt her arms wind up around my neck and her fingers delve into my hair as she hugged me to her. Kissing my face anywhere she could.

"When you cry...I-I can't...I can't..." words escaped me.

"Edward...shhhh" she whispered, silencing me with the softest kiss to my mouth.

She looked up at me with tear filled eyes, a loving smile on her lips. "I love you."

Our limbs were tangled so closely together I couldn't tell anymore what skin was mine and what was hers. All I knew is that everything about it was right. I couldn't wait for today to end. For the tension to ease even just a little. The anticipation of danger was becoming to much. I knew Bella's heart was torn. Sailing out of this port meant that we had more time without conflict, more security on the water. But it also meant leaving behind her father.

"I love you too." I whispered. "Someday this will be over. We'll find him. I'll take you home." I promised her these things knowing that there were many obstacles that could stop me from doing so.

But I promised myself that I would keep my word. One day I would take her home. I didn't know how and I knew it wouldn't be soon...but I would.

Tears leaked from the corners of Bella's eyes as she smiled up at me.

"I'd like that..." she whispered, her voice so soft I could barely hear her - almost like when she first arrived on _The Guardian_. "I want you to meet my father someday. He'd love you."

A knock at the door shook us out of our moment. I sighed heavily, not wanting to have to deal with anything right now. Nothing except my girl. And maybe some food. I was damn hungry.

Bella made to get up too, but I kissed her forehead and told her to stay put.

I opened my door, surprised to find Mike frigging Newton and his goofy ass grin gawking up at me.

"Hey Edward, uhhh...is Bella around?"

I feel anger flickering under my skin. It was clear as day that Mike had a bit of a crush on Bella. Not that he had a shot in hell with her...

That didn't mean it didn't irritate the shit out of me when I caught him ogling her ass or attempting to catch her in the lame dialogue that Newton likes to think of as flirting.

"She's resting." I said curtly.

"Oh uh...well I have a message for her? Um about the letter?" he said, shifting his feet.

"Letter?"

"Um...uh... yeah. It's kind of important, can I talk to her?"

I caught myself growling. This is not what I needed right now. Letter? What letter? What am I missing here...

Before I could answer him, Bella's voice sounded behind me. She had tip toed towards the door at the sound of Mike's voice.

"He can talk to me." she said, her eyes frantic and searching. She would barely look at me.

_What the fuck is going on_?

She was hiding something.

"Bella...what-" I began to speak.

"Did you get it to him? To the dock?" She was so direct it almost startled me.

"Well yeah, the guy there told me to give you this." Mike reached into his pocket and pulled out a small folded note.

Bella snatched it out of his hands so fast I could barely blink. Before I knew it she was across the room, her back pressed in a corner, hands shaking as she unfolded the paper, eyes filled with tears.

"Bella...what the hell is going on?"

She didn't answer me. Her eyes were too busy pouring over the note, wide with intensity and even surprise. I was anxious as hell as I watched her face change from sadness to absolute fear. All the blood had left her face. Her eyes shot up to Mike.

"What did he look like, Mike?" she said, her words rushed and almost harsh.

"Um well he..."

"What did he look like!" she rose to her feet and marched across the room to stand in front of Newton and look him in the eyes. "The man you gave my letter to. What. Did. He. Look like."

I'd never seen her like this. I was starting to panic.

Mike's mouth opened and closed a few more times. He was obviously as surprised as I was to hear Bella raise her voice. She huffed loudly and put a hand up to stop him from answering.

"Don't even bother." she spat. "I already know."

She put her head in her hands and for a moment, it looked as though she were swallowing a sob. She was trying hard not to cry. She managed to take a gulp of air before she did something I never expected.

When she looked up at me, her face completely _blank_. She had shut me out. I could see it. It hurt. I didn't like this...

"Bella..." I watched as she put the mask in place. She wouldn't look me directly in the eyes, she knew she would give too much away. "Please tell me what is going on."

"Mike, do you mind giving us a minute?" she said. Mike shrugged and left us in what felt like a raging silence. She was quiet for a quite a while before she finally spoke.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to keep you in the dark. I just...well...I wrote a letter to my father. I couldn't help it. I needed him to know that I was okay. I knew Mike was a third party that neither Aro or James would recognize, so I asked him to deliver it."

She laughed humorlessly and crumpled the note, shoving it deep into her sweater pocket.

Her eyes held an emotion I couldn't quite place as she said, "The idiot gave it to the wrong guy." Her eyes grew darker as she spoke those words.

"That's it?"

She smiled softly up at me and took a deep breath. "Yes, that's it. I'm sorry I worried you." She wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her face against my chest.

Her warm body distracted me. But something was still off about this whole thing.

"What did the reply say? You looked frightened."

She tensed for the briefest moment in my arms.

"Oh that...oh..well it simply said I had the wrong address and to please not bother him. That's all. Yeah."

"Why did you look so afraid?"

"I just expected to see something from my Dad. I was afraid he was um...going to come after me or something. I don't know...I was feeling a lot all at once I guess."

I nodded in understanding. I guess that made sense. I still had a weird feeling about whatever the hell had just taken place. But I knew Bella was on edge today. If she overreacted it wasn't her fault. She'd been tense all day long.

Before I could ask any more questions, Bella looked up at me and asked if I wanted to see if Rosalie could make us something to eat.

She looked calm as she asked and I felt relief flood through me. She was okay. Understandably emotional, but she was okay. I was just reading into things too much. I guess all of us were paranoid today.

She took my hand in hers and walked us out to the hall.

BPOV

As I walked ahead of Edward towards the galley, I took a moment to get myself together.

_He couldn't know_. _ He couldn't suspect_...

I was almost completely certain I was walking to my last meal. My last few hours with Edward.

I buried the thought as quickly as it came. It was essential that I make it through this evening without giving him any reason to worry or think too much.

Because tonight I had to leave him.

This would be the _hardest_ thing I had ever had to do.

_Isabella,_

_Did you really think I wouldn't be watching? I know exactly where you are and who you're with. Your little vacation has cost me. It will cost you too if you don't do exactly as I say. _

_Tonight after dark, leave the Guardian and come to dock 348. I swear to God Bella, if you don't, I __will __kill Charlie. It'd be so easy, Bella. Come alone. If you involve authorities, I will kill your father before they can even touch me. And your boyfriend will be next. This ends tonight. Be there by 8 at the latest. Don't keep me waiting._

_J_

I replayed the words in my head and shook my fist at fate. Why was this happening? What evil thing had I done to ever deserve this? Love and happiness had been dangled before me like bait, luring me in. As soon as I could reach for it and take it, it was being ripped away.

I would do _anything_ to keep my father safe. And I would die before James _touched_ Edward. And from James' words...it sounded like tonight would be it for me. He was livid with me. _This ends tonight_.

A small part of me almost hoped he would kill me tonight. I would be gone, but my father would be safe, even if I could never see him again. And Edward...oh, _Edward_. A life without Edward wouldn't be a life at all. I didn't think I could stand to be without him. No...I _knew_ I couldn't.

And I would rather die that go back to _the Nomad _and return to being a slave.

Rosalie was all smiles when she left us large bowls of soup on our table. But I couldn't taste any food. I pushed large chunks of potatoes around uneasily as I tried with all my might to look and sound normal.

Edward was keeping his eyes on me, so I had to be extra careful. I knew I had worried him earlier in the room. I chalked it all up to being over emotional and he seemed to relax.

We finished our meal and joined Rose in the dining area for coffee.

It was starting to get dark outside and I felt like my heart was close to completely shattering.

One by one the Cullens returned. Unharmed, thank God.

For once I was thankful for Alice's chattering. It prevented any chances for demanding silence. The more she spoke, the less I had to. I was trying hard not to focus on the fact that the sun was sinking swiftly over the horizon. My time here was coming to an end.

I looked around at the family before me. Esme and her compassion. Carlisle and his strength, his gentle leadership. Emmett and his cursing. Rose and her sweet smile. Jasper and Alice completely in love with each other.

And Edward.

I watched his face while he interacted with his family. He was so unbelievably beautiful. Smart. Protective. Handsome. Passionate. He was the most loving man I had ever met. And someone how, he loved me.

I realized too late that I was shedding silent tears.

"Bella dear, what's wrong?" Esme asked. The look of love and concern on her face almost pushed me over the edge.

"Nothing is wrong," I lied first, before letting some truth spill out. "You are all just so beautiful. I-I...I'm so lucky to know you."

She smiled sweetly at me before pulling me into a tight hug. "We're lucky to know _you_, Bella. We love you very much."

I caught my breath at her words. She was making it so damn hard to keep myself in check.

I felt Edward's eyes on me. He hadn't heard the entire conversation between myself and his mother, but my tears were enough to catch his attention. He walked directly to me until he was only a breath away.

"What's wrong, Bella?" he said softly. He looked to his mother, questioning. Esme rubbed my back and answered for me.

"Ohhh just girly stuff, Edward." she rolled her eyes playfully and winked at me. I nodded in agreement with her and forced a smile until he looked convinced.

He kissed my forehead and took my hand, leading me over to a table to sit with his siblings. Emmett had fixed the engine malfunction and he was bitching about a parts dealer that had tried to hassle him. Alice and Jasper were curled around each other listening and giggling along.

I sat with them for about an hour, listening to stories and laughing. The entire time, Edward never once let go of my hand. His thumb rubbing soft circles over my knuckles.

I wanted to scream.

_This_ was where I belonged. _This_ was where I should be. Why was I being taken away from this. How is it that one minute you find love and the next it eludes you?

I started to get anxious as I saw the time on the clock. It was now 7:03. I had to go.

"Edward?" I whispered softly, my mouth close to his ear. I watched his skin break out in goose bumps before he turned to look at me.

"I'm just going to go change my clothes. I'm a little cold. I'll be right back." I tried to make it sound as nonchalant as possible. Tried to make it sound believable.

But his eyes met mine too quickly and I knew he saw something in them. A look of concern clouded his features.

"Bell - "

"It's okay, I just need to go change. I'll be back." I said with a smile that hurt my face. I kissed his cheek, lingering to run my fingers through his soft hair. He turned to me, his eyes searching mine, trying to decipher whatever he saw in them. I hid.

I lowered my eyes to his lips and kissed him. It was soft and gentle. It was pure love. I tried to show him how much I felt. It was a brief kiss, but it meant the world to me. It would be my last.

I turned away from him before he could see me breaking. It was convincing enough. None of his siblings had seen or been distracted by it. I checked behind me only once to make sure he wasn't following me. He wasn't, but his body was still turned in the direction I had left. His face was sad and confused.

I gave him a forced, reassuring smile before going through the door.

I walked faster. I had to hurry now. I threw on my warmest clothes and tied my boots at light speed. I threw on a hat and some gloves, pausing only for a moment before stealing Edward's scarf and wrapping it around my neck. It smelled like him.

I needed him with me in some small way. Especially tonight.

It took some tip toeing, but I made it out of the cabins to the top deck. Breathing in cold salty air, I said my goodbye to _the Guardian_ before making my way down the gang rail to the dock. As soon as my feet hit the hard wood of the harbor docks, it all hit me at once.

_This ends tonight. _

With one last look up at _the Guardian_, I started to run.

**EPOV**

I sat for a moment at the table, stunned by the power behind one simple kiss. And confused as hell as to why Bella looked so heartbroken. Even if it was for only a brief moment, I saw it. I saw what she had been hiding from me.

I didn't understand completely, but it was more than just an overly emotional day. Something wasn't right.

"She'll be okay, Edward." Alice said to me. "Maybe she just needs a moment to be alone."

I nodded in agreement. Maybe she did need to be alone? Maybe I was smothering her. Oh fuck, I probably was.

Shit. I _knew _I would be bad at this stuff.

"Edward..."

_Crap. She's probably just trying to get away from me. It was perfectly warm in here, why would she need warmer clothes? _

"Edward..."

_Or maybe I'm just over thinking. Maybe Alice is right. Or maybe she really was cold. She's so tiny she doesn't have any fat on her to keep her warm..._

"EDWARD!"

I snapped out of it to see Alice and everyone else staring at me with one part glare and one part smug amusement.

"You need to stop berating yourself."

I realized that I had just done all of my thinking out loud.

"Besides, she said she would be right back. You can talk to her then."

I nodded, taking a deep breath. Jesus, I needed to calm down. I started up a game of gin with Emmett at the dining table, trying to distract myself from the bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I glanced up at the clock. She'd been gone for 15 minutes.

_That's perfectly fine. Right? She's a girl. Girls take longer to get dressed don't they?_

22 minutes.

_Maybe she had to use the bathroom._

37 minutes.

"Hey Ed, Where's Bella?"

I didn't even answer Emmett before turning to head for the door. I stalked the hallways until I got to her room. It was empty. I tried looking in the girls shower room. Nothing. No one was there.

I checked top deck, I checked the radar room, I checked my room. I couldn't find her anywhere. I felt my heart rate pick up as panic settled in. I stopped for a moment on top deck to think.

"Hey Edward!"

_Fucking Newton._

"What do you want, Mike?"

"Oh, I just thought Bella might be with you. She dropped this earlier, just wanted to give it back."

He handed me a crumpled piece of paper.

"Uh yeah, I'll give it to her. See ya." I answered shortly, turning on my heel to head back to my room. Making it known that _no_, I didn't want to have a friendly conversation.

When I got inside my room I slammed the door shut and sat on the edge of my bed, huffing out an frustrated sigh.

I looked down at the crumpled piece of paper in my hand and recognized it immediately. It was the note from earlier. I only hesitated for a moment before unfolding it and reading. My chest ached as I read the words.

_...This ends tonight. Be there by 8 at the latest. Don't keep me waiting. - J_

I stopped breathing altogether.

My eyes flew to the clock by my bed. It was 7:42pm. I had no time to waste. I grabbed my jacket and hat, stopping to see that my thick wool scarf was missing. I was praying it was with Bella, wrapped around her, comforting her until I could do that myself.

I reached into the bottom drawer and paused for a brief moment as I looked down at the shining pistol in the back corner.

I'd never imagined killing anyone before. But when I thought of that bastard James with his hands around my Bella's neck...

Without a second thought, I grabbed the gun, stuffing it into my jean waistband. I almost ripped the door off trying to get out, running past people in the hallways towards the gang rail.

"In a hurry?" I turned back to see Mike Newton leaned leisurely against the guard rail chuckling at me.

I ignored him as I ran faster, pushed harder. I was running out of time...

**Sorry for the cliffie. But aren't you proud of me? I updated! And it HASNT been a year! Yayyy!**

**Reviews would be lovely. :)**

**~Hippie.**


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